A
female
age
30-35,
*oX15
writes:How do u stop crying over a guy you honestly sincerely know isn't good enough, treats you like crap, then says "i love you"? This guy messed with me for two years. I honestly did love him but our relationship was completely dysfunctional, but there was a relationship. Between the fights and the break ups, he was my best friend, a nice guy, but it was like he was 2 different ppl. Now, i've realized that i have feelings 4 anothr guy. I'm talking 2 him, its great, but breaking up with the 1st guy is proving to be extremely painful and difficult. How can i hurt so bad over someone so bad?
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female
reader, babyghost  +, writes (11 February 2011):
Hi, the reason i said get out of town and that it will hurt to end it is becasue thats just what i have had to do. The break up and make up situation is not good and it kills you each time i bet. They always turn around and are nice and sweet wanting you back once they think / know your going to go. It took my friends and family months to help me see that and even then i didnt until long story short he threatened to kill himself and ive ended up with a hand print on my arm from him trying to wrestle my phone off me and even theo he talked to me last night i had to stay strong to say leave me alone even though he was doing the exact same thing - all nice, " i love you, want you to have good life, didnt mean it to be like this" etc. So please im begging you, you know what he is like, you know the jekll and hyde sides and your always going to be walking on tip toes.
A
female
reader, ashley187 +, writes (10 February 2011):
 By saying this : "i think the hardest part is the fact that he ended things with mr. hyde so to speak." are you saying that you think he has changed and is a good guy now? They are ALWAYS nice when they want you back!! Don't let him fool you. They dont change that easily!
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A
female
reader, FoX15 +, writes (10 February 2011):
FoX15 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionanonymous: i really like your idea. its so hard for me to not pick up that phone right now and talk to him. i definitely understand the sweet caring laid back normal guy vs. the short fused short tempered jealous guy. its confusing but its not so easy to say, "i'm done." because this person is the same person who holds you at night and sings you love songs horribly.
everyone else: thank you for the tips. i really have found a good guy in this other guy, but its just hard to break that hold over me this abusive masogynistic pig has over me. i think the hardest part is the fact that he ended things with mr. hyde so to speak. he was nice and told me i could do better, but it just made me love him more because thats the part of him that i love.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Home in on the other guy and put all your energies there. You will soon be able to break free from the one who you've been fighting with. Someone who treats you like crap one minute then is nice the next is playing with your head. you can do without that. But once you break free and give it a go with the new guy, don't be suprised if the other one gets jealous. Be careful and always rememeber the bad times with him because they will keep him at bay.
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A
female
reader, babyghost +, writes (9 February 2011):
because you love him or at least think you do. it will hurt loads butyou have to break it off, get away for a weekend or stay in and hide with friends but you cant stay in a relationship with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (9 February 2011):
You have to get professional help. It's obvious that wanting to be with someone like him is self-destructive. And can't be normal. Most people here won't be able to help because, when faced to such a situation, they would move on ASAP. Period.
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A
female
reader, ashley187 +, writes (9 February 2011):
Break ups are never easy, but you said it for yourself.. your realtionship was dysfunctional and if you have already removed yourself from the situation, I wouldnt jump back in. I know what that's like, I'm there now. And It's very hard and really takes a toll on who you are. I hope that he changes and if he doesn't I hope I'm strong enough to move on like you did. I think after we break up with someone.. we tend to think about all the good things we had, but don't forget about all the bad things (the break ups, the fights). Appreciate the good times you had and the lesson you learned from it, in time.. the pain goes away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): i'm sorry that i dont have any advice for you, but i wanted to give you my support and let you know that i am going through the same thing. i have been on and off with my boyfriend, and i have just posted a thread about our problems. i've been crying over him too. my problem hasnt been posted here yet, as apparently it takes a few hours to post them, so i'm interested to see what people say in reply to me and you.My ex can be really sweet, funny, kind , considerate and laid back normally, but he has another side to him. he has a bad temper, short fuse, and yesterday he got physically violent with me for the first time. he isnt talking to me at the moment, and it hurts. his mum also interfered for the first time yesterday too, and took his side, which i think is wrong. one thing i can say that might make you feel better is that if me and you talk about our problems together, it might help us find some comfort. i always feel better talking about my problems with people, especially if they are going through/ have been through the same thing , even if i only talk to people online. it also keeps you busy .
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