A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Am I in the wrong here?Been seeing marc for over a year. We see each other most nites. We both have insecurity issues, in truth mine are a lot worse than his. But he does ask insecure questions like am I getting bored and sometimes will be a bit off with me when I go to my friends house as he thinks I'm bored of his company (he said that once)However just lately it has been me that is the pain in the arse. I have been reading into his actions thinkin he is going off me as sometimes he can be really affectionate and other times distant and unaffectionate. This gets me worried. At the beginning of our relationship he used to be the one that was always on at me for not being affectionate - saying "you don't need me enough!".Just lately we've had quite a few rows cos he's not as affectionate and he says when we row he feels less inclined to want to come near me.He cooks for me every night and he has booked us a table at a restuarant for valentines which he was gonna suprise me with but cos of me saying he is going off me he had to tell me.Last nite he was spose 2 be coming to mine at 630 to cook us dinner, but at 6.30 he texts me n says he's running 20 mins late then turns up at 7 and says he called into his mates house after work which made him later. I was really pissed at him and we ended up rowing again cos he says I don't appreciate the good things he does and jump on him as soon as he does the slightest thing wrong. I hate this and try my hardest not to do it, but can't help freeking out thinking he is falling out of love with me.He says he does love me and said this today on email:If u just try and relax babe I think u will find that everything will slot into place. I do want to be with u, period so just please believe me and everything will be fine. Have a good day love u.But this was in response to an email to me saying that I'm so sorry and I love him so much I'm scared of bein hurt and am lookin for the slightest sign he is losing feeling for me.Even as I'm typing this I'm thinking my gut instinct is telling me he doesn't love me really as when I say "how much?" He gets angry n says "what do u mean how much?? Love is love isn't it, what do u want me to do put a percentage on it??"Please help me someone is it my paranoia or is this my gut instinct?
View related questions:
insecure, period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): Relax.... Sounds like if he's making you dinner every night that he is pretty committed to you.
Several months back I was in a similar situation.
I would tell my boyfriend that I was "in love with him" and he would reply "i love you too.".... I wanted to hear him say that he was "in love with me." I needed to hear it a certain way. Because he simply said "i love you," made it seem like we were just friends. It took a long time for me to figure out that he actually was in love with me. We would have big bad arguments and I could just see it written all over his face that he loved me and that me getting angry and upset with him was just hurting him when he loves me.
So just be careful. Trust... Even when there is no trust to be had, Trust that he loves you.
A
female
reader, ashley187  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 It sounds to me like your insecuity is scaring him off. He is doing nice things for you and being very thoughtful. You should be happy that he is that way. You can't measure love.. if he says he loves you that should be a good enough answer. And if he ran 20 minutes later for dinner.. at least he called! You dont see how lucky you are. Truth is if you keep acting like that, he will for sure walk out of your life and you'll regret being so insecure. You flat out say you have insecurity issues.. have you ever thought about talking to a counselor? I think it would help you and your relationship out a whole lot; but especially you! And that's most important.
If you don't feel good about yourself, you cant be in a healthy reltionship.
...............................
|
