I think my b/f may have slept with my sister -- should I confront him?
Q. I've been dating a guy for just under 3 years and, up until now, we've been so happy. About a fortnight ago, I went away for four days to celebrate the wedding of a family friend in Paris. My boyfriend stayed at home. I phoned him every evenin...
A. 10 July 2010: If your bf has been a reliable guy who has been nice and supportive with you, then at least confirm what your friend has told about him and your sister, before taking an action.
If you have had trust problems with him in the past too, then you... (read in full...)
Help! Sex with my bf is a chore!
Q. I'm not sexually attracted to my boyfriend any more and it's really getting me down. When I'm alone and I think about sex it turns me on, I even have erotic dreams but when I put him in the situations its like all feelings of passion and want fade. ...
A. 4 July 2010: Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly: Why are you with this guy called your bf? If you can't think of any worthwhile reason, then it looks like all the good reasons of the past have faded/gone. Maybe he's not what you wanted, or maybe ... (read in full...)
Would he rather masturbate to porn than to me?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend going on 3years now, our sex life has always been good and we have watched porn a couple of times together before but it never realy crossed my mind about him watching it on his own until we had internet. We are ...
A. 3 July 2010: Hi, please see my reply to this question. It will help you.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/another-porn-question.html... (read in full...)
I feel the need of a comforting sex where I can I can hve my heart too
Q. I am going to be 44 soon and doesn't have the looks of 44. I look much much younger to my age. Infact people mistake me to be about 25 to 30 and unmarried. I am married and have 2 sons though.My sons are 21 and 17 years old now. My husband is ...
A. 3 July 2010: I can understand what you are feeling. All these years have gone by, you have done your duty towards parents-in-law, husband, and even raised kids to mature age, and now you find yourself asking this question: I have done so much for others around ... (read in full...)
Could he love me but not be attracted to me?
Q. Is it possible for a man to love you, but not be attracted to you?...And how likely is he to stay with you if he meets a woman he is attracted to? My b/f and I have been together 4 years and I sometimes get the feeling he's not that attracted to ...
A. 3 July 2010: Yes, its possible for a man to love you, but not fancy you sexually, even if you are very attractive. This is a complex thing and I have thought about why it happens in "many" men around 35-45 age group. Once a man starts seeing his wife as an ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife or try and fight a dirty media event that will mar her for life?
Q. I got divorced in Dec 2005 and re-married in April 2009, In 1999 I was involved in an incident that threatened my children's lives in the run up to the Olympics which cost us both financially and emotionally so my wife and I had trust issues due to ...
A. 3 July 2010: You have a complex story. I have two simple rules from my life experiences, which I urge you to consider/adapt for your context. 1. Have no fear. Do nothing out of fear. Do what you think is right. Most people don't have the courage to act o... (read in full...)
He's not as big so I don't get excited! What do I do?
Q. My exboyfriend had a large penis(8-9inch) and my current boyfriend got smaller (5inch) and i won't get so excited when he's in me and cant give me as much pleasure. I don't want to tell him because that would break him so what can i do ?...
A. 3 July 2010: If your feelings for your bf are coming down to his penis size, then you will have problems in maintaining this relationship. If you tell him this, it will put a major crack in your relationship right away. Many of us have exs who are better endowed ... (read in full...)
We fell head over heels for each other so what changed?
Q. So I'm really confused. I met this guy 6 months ago and we fell head over heels for each other straight away. We were crazy about each other, adored each other. He wanted to introduce me to his family and friends and I flew over to New Zealand ...
A. 3 July 2010: I guess you started the crack by this: "I broke things off as it was too hard.". Then he thought, this girl can break things, I should take this a bit slow. Short term attraction is there, but trust has taken a hit. Without trust, no long... (read in full...)
He says the problems in our relationship are my fault!
Q. Last night my partner really made me feel like a terrible person. We have had a lot of stress since we moved back in together, his son, money, lack of job (on his part) his mother being an alcoholic, my own chronic illness. He has seemed to just get...
A. 1 July 2010: "he just sits in front of his computer playing games all day, and smokes a lot of weed." In my life experience, its not possible to correct people who don't want a better future and people who are lazy. You seem like a careful and hard wor... (read in full...)
I need help understanding what may be going thru this guy's mind
Q. I badly need help here. I met a guy at a party 8 months ago. I instantly felt drawn to him. We txted and IM'ed each other for a week, but then he stopped talking to me suddenly. He lives an hour away from me, btw. 2 months later he suddenly IM'ed ...
A. 1 July 2010: He is probably just coming to you because you are available. He is not looking like a serious guy going by his inconsistent messaging/communication. You are thinking about him because you don't have a real bf yet. Please cut off this with this guy, ... (read in full...)
I've fallen off the rails after discovering my ex sleeping with my mum..
Q. after my breakup,i am left alone. actually i found my ex boyfriend having sex with my mom. i am really broken. After that incident i moved to a new place and not in contact with anyone. i am into lots of drinking and sex with strangers. ...
A. 11 June 2010: This is very unfortunate. But by lots of drinking and sex with strangers, you are abusing yourself, and that does not help at all.
Think of it this way: your current actions are making you less attractive for a serious guy who could be your bf ... (read in full...)
Terminate pregnancy by unknown father?
Q. hope i can get some advice here as hav no1 to talk to and am a bit embaressed...i am a singal mother ov 2 kids who are 9 and 6 we have a great life go away all the time and very settled i work as an escort to pay 4 our gud life as there dad left us ...
A. 9 June 2010: Contrary to what most people here are saying, my sincere advise will be to abort. You said you are doing escort work to give a better life to your 2 kids; so why do you want to add one more kid and divide your resources further and make it harder ... (read in full...)
Sex is so painful with my new husband... how can I broach this subject with him?
Q. hi please i really need you guys to answer this and help me as i am becoming depressed and dont know what to do.. i have been married for almost a year now, me and my husband had sex only the first nite but not properly... after that i have been...
A. 1 June 2010: Hi, you must visit a doctor asap because if you love your husband, sex should not be painful. You may have a vaginal muscle problem where there is no elasticity and hence the pain. Take care!... (read in full...)
After his surgery he thinks I'm going to leave him, how can I sort this?
Q. I have been with my partner for amost 3 years and we have talked about having a baby i already have one child who is 7 but seem to be having trouble getting pregnant so we have gone to the fertility clinic i had to have a operation 2 months ago to ...
A. 30 May 2010: Once a person starts smoking cannabis, many decision making skills go for a toss. He has been behaving badly with you and I am not sure if its going to improve. Does he have a job at all? Tell him you won't leave him for his cancer, but you could ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for my boyriend to want to hang out with other women without me??
Q. So, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 years. He doesn't believe in marriage, so, we're not married but we own a house together and have always been very close; the only thing a married couple has that we lack is a ring. After all ...
A. 23 May 2010: I don't like the way your bf is speaking to you and his actions are not that of a guy in a relationship. You are justified in feeling jealous. The thing that bugs me is not his friendship with other girls but the fact that he does not want you to be ... (read in full...)
How can I extend the sex?
Q. Why is it when me and my partner are having sex everything happens so quickly, i try and make myself last but i climax in about 10 minutes.? Are there any ways to Push off my climax so i can last a little longer?...
A. 23 May 2010: Hey, you are a lucky girl and you don't even know it! Most women will be so happy to climax in 10 minutes, many can't climax at all or it takes long and hard work. Your system sounds quite good and tell your bf how lucky he is. cheers.... (read in full...)
Why does it hurt when we have sex?
Q. Lately, our sex life has been very different. For some reason, it hurts me when we have sex. We have plenty of forplay (fondling, grinding, oral) but it hurts when he goes in. It didn't hurt before. It'll eventually feel ok but my vagina will h...
A. 23 May 2010: Hi, thanks for sharing your problem. I remember reading sometime back about cases where the vaginal muscles lose their flexibility to expand during intercourse (which is an important feature down there). I guess you are already using lube, if not ... (read in full...)
Do relationships between escorts/customers ever realistically work? Especially when the once retired escort goes back to work for financial reasons? Please give me some advice guys...
Q. I am a 30 year old woman who for most of her life has worked as an escort. I started when I was quite young and as I was a single mother, I welcomed the added finance. What I didn't realise was how quickly it would turn into a lifestyle, almost a ...
A. 23 May 2010: This is one of the toughest questions on this board I have faced, probably because I can't relate closely with your experiences and his outlook on women. Okay, let me summarize my thoughts here: If you feel the guy will continue to meet other es... (read in full...)
I lied to the man I love about the college I went to...is there anyway I can get him back?
Q. How can i get my amazing man back after lying? i am in desperate need of some help. I fell in love with the most amazing man in the world. He is 27 years old but i am only 22 years old. last spring i failed out of the university we both attended...
A. 22 May 2010: Please explain to him like you have explained here. The full sequence of events. Or send him a mail if you can't talk face to face on this topic. But put the facts in front of him. Yes, you should not have lied about it. You are already sorry ab... (read in full...)
I went to a prostitute and couldn't get an erection,,,
Q. Hey, I'm a 23 year old guy, reasonably attractive and I never have much of a problem picking up women. I've been wondering about an escort for ages and decided that while I'm here I may as well go nuts. She was gorgeous, nice and understanding...
A. 22 May 2010: Oh dear, this is one of those moments that every male dreads.
I don't see anything wrong biologically. Could it be something psychological? Stress of the encounter - possible. Btw, alcohol can dampen erection in some males - it could be a reas... (read in full...)
Managers do not think I am doing a good job but now are ignoring me
Q. Hi I started a new job just a month ago into what i thought would be a good job. A few days ago i was called into a meeting with 2 of my female managers to check my progress, and the first thing they told me was ive been doing poor in my wo...
A. 22 May 2010: Hi, that was a very badly managed/conducted progress review. I am a business owner today and have worked in large companies in the past and we don't shove things like that.
I guess its really difficult to make women work together, even though wome... (read in full...)
I lost him for no reason, I want him back!
Q. Okay, ... So in march I had a boyfriend, called John. We lasted for two weeks, because of rumours going round saying I was cheating on him when I wasn't, the rumours took him away from me and sent him to my bestfriend, they finished two days ago...
A. 22 May 2010: A guy who left you based on rumors is not worth seeking back. Unless you are in a land where he is the only guy available, try to find a more reliable guy and you will be happier. Or do you just want him back as a trophy? (common among teenage ... (read in full...)
Colleague found out I was pregnant& everyone in my workplace& now denies it!
Q. I'm 7 weeks pregnant and a colleague of mine found out. I gave up smoking and was off with bad sickness so she put 2 and 2 together and figured it out. She asked me I told her I was and she promised to not say anything. I really wish I had ...
A. 22 May 2010: I have never understood why women need to share every single detail of their private life with another woman and then feel bad when the other woman can't keep the secret. Remember, the only to keep a secret is to not tell it to anyone. Now coming ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's a player?
Q. so this morning this girl from my boyfriend work called him, i knew it was a girl because of the way he spoke to her during the conversation he kept asking her how long she was going to be there. And he told her that he would come out that he has to ...
A. 22 May 2010: Hi, your clarification has helped. He is not serious about your happiness if he is willing to do something unimportant (like going to the mall) even if it hurts you. At the least if there was some serious work, he should have said: "if you want, you ... (read in full...)
She makes it seem like I'm the bad guy and says stuff like "you're my bestfriend, my only real friend" which is true.
Q. Long story short, I've been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years. I have found out one year into the relationship she got bored of me and thought I didn't care anymore and started flirting with guys and eventually a year later she leaves me for a guy ...
A. 22 May 2010: I agree with others here. She has been using you. Please leave her asap and for good. You will feel so much better without her negativity around you. Let me milk her looks (as she say) at some other base, not yours.... (read in full...)
Opinions on sexy pictures?
Q. What do people think of allowing your partner to take sexy pictures of you? I'm not talking about nude or even in bra/pants. I'm thinking of a sexy babydoll or chemise, something racy but with no parts showing so if anyone did end up seeing them I ...
A. 22 May 2010: Why does he want sexy pictures when he already has you? I don't understand. Please ask him. And yes, every picture can end up on the web, so please do anything carefully. You have a long life ahead of you. take care!... (read in full...)
My husband told me I stole his money
Q. "OPs own title" Please I really need help. I met my husband 2 years ago. We were in different states. We marry in Islamic way with out any paper work. after that I was still in my state. my husband gave me his checking card to use for money. I ...
A. 22 May 2010: If your husband gave you the checking card for monthly expenses, then your case is strong. Do not worry. I think he is trying to put pressure on you so that you can return the car. You don't have to return any money to him. You did not steal his ... (read in full...)
They're not fake. Really.
Q. My question involves my breasts. I was really blessed... i guess with my dads metabolism and my moms big boobs. They are 34DD and still growing. i'm 18 and 5'10" and very small waisted. People (mostly guys) think my boobs are fake... how would i get ...
A. 22 May 2010: Hi, this is one problem every girl would like to have! I am sure all the girls around you are getting a huge complex because god has been really generous with you! Okay, on a serious note, you don't need to make others realize that your breast... (read in full...)
I'm confused by my new boyfriend's penis because I think it's not hard enough!
Q. Hi, Am confused about my new boyfriend's penis coz I think it's not hard enough. We haven't had any penetration sex yet but have had oral sex and what worries me is that the hardest he's been is far lower than my ex boyfriends. I know that with t...
A. 22 May 2010: I disagree with people here who are saying just one previous partner at 41 is not possible. I know many guys of this type. Often they are more god fearing. Other than that, they are as smart as anyone else, including being the top guys at work.
... (read in full...)
Confidence issues are keeping me single
Q. Hey :) So this is going to make me sound like a complete looser but I seem to be totally incapable of getting a boyfriend! Im 15 and i havent even how a first kiss yet - how pathetic? I have really really really low self-confidence and so im quite ...
A. 21 May 2010: Hey, if it can help your nerves, I had my first kiss at 26. All my early years went single and in professional studies at Univ and early jobs in far-off places. I felt like you at times but knew things will fall in place. If you want a boyfriend... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this terrible, long term relationship?
Q. ok..here is it....i have been with this guy for about 11yrs now...things are not good....we are not married, because he says i have an bad attitude..oh well...he always has an excuse of why i have not gotten a ring after all this time....there have ...
A. 21 May 2010: Unless he loves your son a lot and helps him like a father, you move out. A single happy mother is better for the son than a constant fighting parents who don't want to resolve.... (read in full...)
Is lending him money a good enough reason to get married
Q. Hi All, Here's the situation. My SO and I have been in a relationship for nearly a year and a half. We've lived together for a year now and are preparing to go off to grad school this fall. The thing is, he's asked me to cover his living expenses...
A. 21 May 2010: Please wake up. You don't love him and you are not in a relationship at all. This line of yours is self-contradictory: "I love him with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I just don't trust him enough at this point... (read in full...)
Things were great until my friend told him about a fling I had before we were together!
Q. Hi, I have been in am amazing relationship for the past 1 and a half. He is loving, caring, more than perfect, appreciates me, notices me..most things i have never even heard of. He is also pretty emotional but hes the type of guy that needs to ha...
A. 21 May 2010: Your case is strong. You have not cheated on him while being his gf. Many people make errors of judgment in life. Who knows what mistakes he has done when he was a teenager? I support your effort in this one. Now, if your nice guy feels so bad about ... (read in full...)
Is it really that bad for me to hang with a 21 year old?
Q. I'm 16, turning 17 in August. I'm really good friends with a guy but he happens to be 21. My parents know about this friendship and aren't very happy about it. My mom has even threatened to call the cops on him and wants to kick me out of the house. ...
A. 21 May 2010: Hey, its not at all bad for you to hang with a 21 year old. Unless your mother knows something about his background that she is using against him, I don't see why you can meet a person who is nice with you, without any bad sexual motive. Take care!... (read in full...)
"Online dating issues"
Q. "OPs own title"I decided to try the online dating. However, I am encountering the same problem over and over and wanted to know how others deal with it. The problem is about the amount of time taken by someone to reply. For example, this gu...
A. 21 May 2010: (1) Keep it simple. A guy who does not reply to you in a time frame that you find satisfactory, is not good for you, because your styles don't match. I also don't believe we should play hard to get (in love and business) so that has filtered many ... (read in full...)
Do relationships between escorts/customers ever realistically work? Especially when the once retired escort goes back to work for financial reasons? Please give me some advice guys...
Q. I am a 30 year old woman who for most of her life has worked as an escort. I started when I was quite young and as I was a single mother, I welcomed the added finance. What I didn't realise was how quickly it would turn into a lifestyle, almost a ...
A. 21 May 2010: Thanks for sharing. Yes, the way the picture is painted, all girls in the sex industry are there loving it, which in not true. I have known a top model and she said that she wants to be with a guy who can see and love her without all make up; sti... (read in full...)
I feel like I've become a bitch towards men...because the treat me as if I have no feelings, help!
Q. So, lately I've been having some problems with relationships and stuff like that in general. My first boyfriend cheated on me, and so did my second. My last boyfriend and I recently broke up because we needed a break because things weren't wor...
A. 21 May 2010: Hey, don't worry if others are making jokes about you. People make jokes when they can't do anything better. Don't give any importance to such people. If you want to remain a virgin, please stay the same, and you will surely meet a guy who will be ... (read in full...)
The sex (and kissing) in our relationship is horrible! How can I talk to him about this without offending him?
Q. My boyfriend has a two inch penis and he does not satisfy me sexually. He doesn't even know how to kiss properly, he grabs my chest aggressively, and does not give me much pleasure. He's a heavy set guy and I'm significantly smaller than him. When's ...
A. 21 May 2010: Next time, ask him to be more "gentle" in kissing/touching you. He will try to improve. Kissing expertise is subjective. If you have preferences, please guide him. I know its difficult to talk about such things. Give it a try.... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex a month ago and now I seem to have pimples on my penis, what could this be?
Q. Hello everyone... I was not being smart and I had sex with a girl without a condom. It's been like months but now I'm starting to see some stuff on my... Penis. It looks like pimples but there red. I have a few little ones around my genita...
A. 21 May 2010: Hi, I am afraid you have most probably (99%) caught a sexually transmitted disease (STD), and it sounds like Genital Herpes. Please don't pop the pimples as it will spread the infection.
Please see this webpage for detailed info on symptoms... (read in full...)
Why do I always pull stupid pranks on my boyfriend? I think I just crave attention or want a reaction from him!
Q. Hi Guys I've been dating my bf for almost a year and everything is/was going well. I have a problem of pulling stupid pranks on him. They seem to be compulsive and I realise the implications after playing with him for a while. I started by sayin...
A. 21 May 2010: In your entire post, I see nothing to tell me that you love your gf and that you want him happy. Its all about you.
I guess you are a bit of sadist and your guy is probably a bit weak in the relationship to take all this. After reading your post... (read in full...)
I'm confused by my new boyfriend's penis because I think it's not hard enough!
Q. Hi, Am confused about my new boyfriend's penis coz I think it's not hard enough. We haven't had any penetration sex yet but have had oral sex and what worries me is that the hardest he's been is far lower than my ex boyfriends. I know that with t...
A. 20 May 2010: Yes, its a case of weak erection, but today we have medicines for everything. Basically blood flow into the penis is not happening to its full potential. A pill like viagra is aimed to give firmer/harder erections, which is what you want.
Tell him ... (read in full...)
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