A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sexually attracted to my boyfriend any more and it's really getting me down. When I'm alone and I think about sex it turns me on, I even have erotic dreams but when I put him in the situations its like all feelings of passion and want fade. Its horrible. Sex is beggining to feel like a chore! What can I do :'( Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the anonymous poster - I've been with him for almost a year and a half thank you very much.
And everyone else, thank you very much for your input and advice, it's much appreciated!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): you can't make yourself sexually attracted to someone you just can't
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): This is one reason why you SHOULDN'T have sex with someone unless you know they are RIGHT for you!! - And you only get to know if they are right for you by dating them a while first BEFORE you jump into bed with them!
- You are only still a teenager or just out of teenage years - so OFCOURSE your feelings and passion will change - teenagers hormones are all over the place!
Lets just hope you learn from your mistakes, haven't caught any STDs and havn't fallen pregnant on top of everything else!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): I think what has been MISSED here, you have said " I am NO longer sexually attracted to my boyfriend " And that is the problem. You can dim lights, place candles around the room, scatter rose petals over the bed but if you don't desire someone physically any more, it won't happen, full stop. And why would someone so young force themselves to have sex with someone they no longer desire. You are not married to this guy, you are entitled to change your mind.
It is the way in which you go about it, that counts. You are young, and more than likely you have out-grown this relationship. Not all relationships can endure a lifetime, nor can they be forced beyond what is naturally there. You haven't said you love your boyfriend madly, that you want to improve things, that he's not considerate enough, how can you improve this. You have clearly and concisely said " You don't feel attracted to him any more "
Only you can decide and know what you really want, but if you do decide to move on, use sensitivity when telling your boyfriend, and certainly no reason to be so direct and say you don't desire him sexually any more. Perhaps, that you feel the chemistry once between you has faded, and is no longer strong enough for you to carry on with the relationship. That way you have removed yourself from the relationship, and spared him his feelings.
Good luck!
Jilly x
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A
male
reader, RyanS +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly: Why are you with this guy called your bf? If you can't think of any worthwhile reason, then it looks like all the good reasons of the past have faded/gone. Maybe he's not what you wanted, or maybe your expectations have become more than what he can offer. It looks like your bf has lost your respect that's why you are not able to see him as an alpha male that you want to have sex with. Sex often becomes dull/boring in long term relationships. Ask him for his views on how he's seeing things?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe do, I've tried. To be honest, he is amazing with his hands and tongue but he cant seem to make me cum with his cock alone, which is normally for most people although he thinks he is make me cum :/ Tricky situation I'm in but perhaps thats why I dont feel like sex?
It's just getting so tiresome :/
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A
female
reader, c.lili  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 I feel like that to with my bf, It used to be so good...
I have no idea what you can do, I'm going to break up with my boyfriend so I'm giving up on him. I feel shitty because I fancy myself with other men. Maybe i'm a b**** I'll live with that.
Hmmm we feel what we feel, I don't think we are bad people for feeling different for someone after a year and a half (in my case) it just means we weren't meant to be together forever.
I'm very sexual so I think that if sex isn't good anymore then the relationship won't last.
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A
female
reader, jellybeans20009  +, writes (4 July 2010):
Maybe it would help to think of sex as rather a way to express your feelings for your boyfriend rather than just to fulfill lust. Your kisses should mean that you care for him and sex with him is a way to express how you feel about each other.
Or even, don't do it that often. Maybe the problem here is that you've just been needing a break. Tell him you need some space when it comes to that stuff. Give yourself a breather and come back, see how it is. Take all the time you need because you shouldn't have to force yourself to have sex if you don't want to. That won't get you anywhere. It might be great for him, but if he loves you he'd care enough to consider your feelings as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): Well if I were you I'd try spice things up with positions etc then if that doesn't work maybe it's just over
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