A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can i get my amazing man back after lying? i am in desperate need of some help. I fell in love with the most amazing man in the world. He is 27 years old but i am only 22 years old. last spring i failed out of the university we both attended. When we first started dating last summer i explained to him the situation and he understood why i wasn't going to school in the fall. Once spring registration began he was putting alot of pressure me that he couldn't date a girl that wasn't serious about her life. And make smart remarks about junior colleges in the area and how girls that went there were stupid. When i went to register for classes i was denied and had to attend a junior college instead. At this same time he was leaving to studying abroad in australia for 6 weeks but as far as he knew i was attending are university again and i just went along with it...for an entire semester. I had planned on telling him after finals this spring but was so scared to lose him because i had fallen in love and was ashamed of my failure not mention we also lived together. On top of that we work together. Regardless he found out the truth without me telling him and even gave me a chance several months ago to tell him right after he got back from australia but i with drew. He confronted me 2 week ago while he was drunk and the next couple days we avoided it. He broke up with me a last week saying i was immature and couldn't understand what was wrong with me, That his family had installed in him from a child lying is something you just don't do. He said that he needed a break and said that for now consider us done but it doesn't mean we don't have a chance in the future. If i wanted him back i needed to make some serious changes but on the other had he said he didn't know if what i did could ever be reparied We have remained on a friendly bases.I love this man and think he is my true love. Someone that i could marry but now he doesnt trust me.I would do anything for this man. I made a huge mistake by making the worst relationship mistake...lying.We have had no problems other than this huge lie.Is there any advice for what i could do?
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male
reader, RyanS  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 Please explain to him like you have explained here. The full sequence of events. Or send him a mail if you can't talk face to face on this topic. But put the facts in front of him. Yes, you should not have lied about it. You are already sorry about it. Tell him that. However, a guy whose love for you depends on the college you attended, is not a dependable/long term guy. So explain your point, and if he insists that hell has broken loose, then its best to separate. I can assure you there are many more reasonable guys around. I hope he understands your view.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 If girls that go to junior colleges are stupid and you go to junior college and he is dating you, doesn't that mean he dating a stupid girl for all this time and didn't notice it?
Seems like an elitist prick. Breaking up over this is pretty amazing alright but not in a "I want to marry this guy" way.
What exactly is it that you want back. A guy who is so much in love with you that he breaks up the relationship over what college you attended? Is that your idea of true love?
Huge lie? Take a long hard look at this lie. You tried for a college, got rejected and went to another and finished it(?). Then you didn't tell him this because he presumed.
My advice would be to consider yourself lucky that you got away. But hey, I am not in love with someone who dumped me over the college I attended.
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