A
male
age
36-40,
*uile
writes:Long story short, I've been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years. I have found out one year into the relationship she got bored of me and thought I didn't care anymore and started flirting with guys and eventually a year later she leaves me for a guy that tried to rape her and claimed he was waiting 5 years to be with her. She gave me no word no explanation and left. Well she tried to keep friends without really giving me closure but after I questioned her, she told me everything (at least what I thought was everything) now she is not with him but she did sleep with him. She asked if she could come back and try to make things work with me. Being stupid I agreed after 2 months of bs. Well shortly I found her texting some other guy and she actually kissed him while "working" things out with me. The really twisted part is I care for her through all this and her having prohlems with family at home she lives with me for the time being. Well I recently told her that we have to stop and she needs to get out, all the while she makes it seemlike I'm the bad guy and says stuff like "you're my bestfriend my only real friend" which is true. She feels that she's still young (22) and wants to milk her looks before she gets unattractive, while here I am loving her for who she is even if she was fat or didn't wear make up. I don't really know what to do. We have a lot of quiet moments and I'm discovering that our interests aren't similar anymore. I know this is a time for discovering who we are as we grow into adults but I really care for this person and I don't want her to go down the route of drugs and alcohol which have been a problem.Any advice? I feel like abandoning her would be the worst thing to do even for a friend
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): I agree with Laura 1318...stop giving this woman your value time, love and energy....she doesn't care about you or your feelings. She is a cheater at heart and most likely she will never stop. If you continue to dwell on her and take her back or be friends with her or give her access to your life whenever she comes running, you will pay the ultimate price with ZERO return.
A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 Dump her. You deserve better. She is a cheater and immature.
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A
male
reader, RyanS  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 I agree with others here. She has been using you. Please leave her asap and for good. You will feel so much better without her negativity around you. Let me milk her looks (as she say) at some other base, not yours.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 "You're my best friend my only real friend" This is only true when you allow her to stay at your place and you provide all her needs. She is only marking time at your place until she finds another one.
It is better to rear a dog than her. At least , you are assured of the dog's loyalty.
Do not cast your pearls before swines. Let her go and it is not your business anymore.
You are not a charity org. and you are not responsible for people who do not know how to repay your kindness and generosity.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 May 2010):
 She does not respect you. She wants the security and benefits of you without the commitment. If it were a guy exhibiting these behaviors, most girls on here would be yelling "He's a player!". You are dating a female player who cares NOTHING for you like she does herself. You are worth more than to be pulled out and used like an occasional overcoat.
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