A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey :) So this is going to make me sound like a complete looser but I seem to be totally incapable of getting a boyfriend! Im 15 and i havent even how a first kiss yet - how pathetic? I have really really really low self-confidence and so im quite quiet around people i don't know that well, and i think that makes guys just think im weird. My friends all tell me Im really pretty and stuff but i dont think i am - is that what puts guys off? What can i do to gain a bit more confidence and get a boyfriend? x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): Don't make the largest mistake possible.
Relationships are built on TRUST, UNDERSTANDING and LOVE.
Don't get in a relationship just for the sake of it. You might feel good about it but the other person will solely be playing you.
Virginity isn't the be all and end all (unless the person you lose it to is that special someone - regardless if you wait for marriage or not)... getting a fake sense of confidence to be in a so-called relationship to lose the first kiss and virginity will create a worse situation afterwards...
* You can get hooked on that one person (could be 10 years to get over it).
* As no love existed, even if you thought it was, you could become an lust-freak, seeing sex as a way of getting with someone (don't fool for that, guys like sex, thats not someone interested in you or seduction to hand it on a plate). It then becomes serial relationship that aren't serious.
You must remember happiness is very important. if you are single and happy, its better than being with someone and unhappy.
I think its really hot, personally as a guy (not because you are underage but in general), for a girl to have her first kiss still. its not that uncommon as you think.
If you are 19 and still have it then thats a problem... at 15 its not. They say a girl can tell if you are the one by your first kiss together. You cant forget that those who have been kissing away have been kissing toads waiting for a good person to come along. What you are doing is filtering anything which could possibly be a toad.
The worst thing is desperation and curiousness... a guy will pick you up, use you, and leave you... just let things happen naturally.
its hard to guide you about being more confident but they say to love someone else you must love yourself. Step one is self-respect.
The worst thing to think is because a guy isn't interested that you aren't pretty. it is actually because you have zero-confidence. the opposite sex assumes you aren't interested. Not many people will ignore the confidence thing and approach a person on looks alone. Confidence shows inner beauty such as personality which is important too.
My bottom line of advice here is finish school before you think of anything serious. if you can do well in exams you might respect yourself more.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): Hey, I'm 15 and i've haven't had my first kiss either. Im not ugly but i know i'm shy. I think it's just your confidence. To help build it up i would suggest that you ask some of your friends 2 help introduce you to new people or you could go to a youth club. That what I would do now I have bare contacts, At first you will be shy, I was but then you get more confident cause your used to them. Hope I helped.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 Not a looser at all. Wait a while. Enjoy your life, study, get good grades, be healthy etc. I've been a teenaged boy and they're really not that great. Better off without em.
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A
male
reader, RyanS +, writes (21 May 2010):
 Hey, if it can help your nerves, I had my first kiss at 26. All my early years went single and in professional studies at Univ and early jobs in far-off places. I felt like you at times but knew things will fall in place. If you want a boyfriend, go for the intelligent guys (not the ones chased by all girls for their looks), and you will find quite a few shy guys among them. Many of these guys are going to be the dream men of tomorrow once they also discover their confidence and capabilities. You will feel good with such guys. But you will have to take the initiative and ask them for a date and see how it goes. Your guy won't have kissed either, and that's a great couple in the making. Take care and be happy!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): First off, I'm 22, which makes me a fossil compared to you. And let me tell you: I've never had a boyfriend either. My first kiss happened when I was 17. There. I'm not butt ugly: I do commercial modeling. So that can't be it. Really, I get the pressure you're feeling. At your age, everyone around me had boyfriends, some even had sex with them and most of them had atleast kissed a couple of times. And there I was. Alone, uncertain. Now at 22, I'm happy I didn't run after them doing the same thing. I ran into a couple of old classmates a few weeks ago. One of them already had a baby, but her bf left her. The other was having STD issues (I caught that from their conversation.) So don't think that you need to rush into this. You're 15. I bet many will laugh and tell you you've got plenty of time. They'd be right. It doesn't have to do with looks. I bet you look fine. Your friends wouldn't call you pretty if they didn't mean it. If you were ugly they would avoid that subject or tell you you're 'not bad'. And think of this: Adriana Lima (look her up, she's the most beautiful woman on the planet in my opinion) had her first kiss at 17. She stayed virgo until she was 27. Not because she could't get a guy obviously. So really, don't worry. Appreciate yourself. You have dignity. Don't settle for someone just because you feel you 'need' a boyfriend. Don't be like that. You'll get a bf in time. One who's right for you and who loves you for who you are. But you need to start loving yourself first. And if guys think you're weird they aren't worth your time anyway. Let some slut have those. And when her makeup has faded and everyone's gotten tired of her, she'll be wishing she'd been more like you.
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A
female
reader, irishgirlm  +, writes (21 May 2010):
 hey well your not alone i didnt have my first kiss till i was 15 too! amm well you need to stop pointing out the bad qualities you see in yourself first of all.. secondly look in the mirror and smile at yourself a smile will make u look friendly happy and approachable.. now think whats your good points and while looking in the mirror or thinking to yourself think about the good bits... are you funny?.. are you clever?.. do you have hobbies? try listing 5 different things you like about yourself everyday this will help. hope this helps?
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