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female
age
30-35,
*33
writes:I'm 16, turning 17 in August. I'm really good friends with a guy but he happens to be 21. My parents know about this friendship and aren't very happy about it. My mom has even threatened to call the cops on him and wants to kick me out of the house. We had a big argument this morning about it. I really don't know what to do. He has been there for me since we met and always gives me great advice when I need it. I love him to death b.c he is a brother to me and I really like talking to him but my parents are taking it the wrong way. We've met twice, in public places. He even told me that we have to keep it PG because he doesn't want to go to jail. He's an amazing guy and I would def date him if I were older but that's not the case right now. I have a boyfriend and he just broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years (who happens to go to my school, she's almost 18). He has hinted that he is interested in me but won't say/do anything that's illegal. My question is.. is it really that bad for me to hang with a 21 year old? He has showed me respect and I feel comfortable around him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): I dont see what is so bad about that I'm 15 and I hang around with people who are 19 as my boyrfirend is that age and a close mate who is like a brother to me but I also have friends who are 20 and 18 and even if you did fancie him your over the legal concent age so netheir of you are doing anything wrong I just think that your mum is just looking out for you It's what they do maybe you should just try and tell her that your muture enough to make your own decisions in life
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): In my opinion I find it no problem hanging out with a 21 year old, I am 15 years old and I hang out with people of ages 17 and up, in fact one of my good friends is 23 my parents know about this and they trust me all my friends come to my house and chill maybe all you have to do is get your "friend" to meet your parents. All my friends know my parents well my mom to be exact cause my father passed away, but anyways don't argue with your mother it won't help at all. WELL HOPE MY ADVICE HELPED(:
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reader, KaileyLove  +, writes (21 May 2010):
 YES! I was just in that same situation!I hung out with a 20 year old, and I'm 17... I really liked him. He and I would hang out all the time, and I would look to him with admiring eyes. However, we always used to kiss and stuff... but now I had gotten too involved and it ended in a broken heart.The funny thing is, we weren't dating... but usually guys that age are just out for sex, and boy, I know that now!He may seem like the nicest guy in the world... but, don't get involved. I don't want to see another innocent girl end up in my situation.But, if you REALLY want to continue hanging out with him, then my suggestion is to play hard-to-get. Try to stall a relationship to it's fullest. If he leaves you, then he wasn't worth it. A guy that really likes you would appreciate the chase, and play along. A guy just out for sex will realize that he can't get what he wants and would just leave you.Please be safe~!
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reader, dirtball +, writes (21 May 2010):
 TimmD gives good advice. At your current ages, I question his motivation just like your parents are. To be frank, you are on completely different places, just like TimmD said. He has expressed an interest in you, and while he may be behaving appropriately now, I don't think it will last if you two were to start dating. If you want to maintain this friendship, I would not be alone with him. That way your parents will have less reason to worry. Your age difference won't mean that much when you are 21, but at this point in your life, 5 years is a giant gap.
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reader, TimmD +, writes (21 May 2010):
 I'll admit, there is reason for your parents to be alarmed. So many times a situation like this COULD be bad. An older guy like that being interested in someone as young as you... but just because it could be bad, doesn't mean it automatically WILL be bad. There is definitely a chance he is an honest and caring person.Usually a person that is each of your ages is usually in a little bit of a different place in life. You in high school and him in college or working. This is also sometimes cause for alarm when you say a 21 year old interested in being friends or more with a 16 year old. What is he doing with his life?Anyway, now adays it's not unheard of for a relationship like this to occur. 16 year olds can be more mature for their age and conversations can occur more now due to the internet. I would not automatically dismiss a relationship with him, but I also wouldn't recommend intentionally making your parents mad. Keeping your relationship strictly causal and more internet based would be the best thing to do probably, at least until you are 18.
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reader, RyanS  +, writes (21 May 2010):
 Hey, its not at all bad for you to hang with a 21 year old. Unless your mother knows something about his background that she is using against him, I don't see why you can meet a person who is nice with you, without any bad sexual motive. Take care!
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