A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hope i can get some advice here as hav no1 to talk to and am a bit embaressed...i am a singal mother ov 2 kids who are 9 and 6 we have a great life go away all the time and very settled i work as an escort to pay 4 our gud life as there dad left us yrs ago i have just found out yesterday i am a few weeks pregnant and am not sure by who i am ment to ring for a hospital appointment tomoro to book in for a termination which i really dont want to do but if i dont have 1 how could i explain to my family about the dad and also the child when it gew up please help!!
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male
reader, rivi  +, writes (15 June 2010):
In my view abortion as a moral issue really is a matter of degree - i accept some people sincerely believe that from the moment of conception it-s a child but I think that-s just nonsense: those of us who think that way don-t have a prob with abortion at a few weeks - you can still do it with two pills at that point. OK it-s potentially a human being but so are the millions of sperm in every ejaculation.....
What would be a lot worse would be dithering for two or three months and then having a full on abortion op......
If you trawl the internet I think you-ll find there are a whole load of young men out there who bitterly resent their mothers for having chosen anonymous sperm donors - they miss having a dad. Another reason to keep that appointment.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): It is a personal decision and a very hard one. If I read correctly, you are working as an escort to give your kids a good life and this september were hoping to change careers. If you go ahead and have another child, will you be able to support 3 children and yourself with your new income? Not to mention the time you'll lose from any job (probably more if you are still an escort) because of the pregnancy. If I had to advise, I would say go ahead and terminate the pregnancy. I would also like to add that I hope in your line of work you are being safe! You didn't say if you suspect the father could be one of your clients. But if it is, that means you are seeing clients and not using protection. That would be a very dangerous move, for both your clients and yourself!
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A
male
reader, RyanS +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Contrary to what most people here are saying, my sincere advise will be to abort. You said you are doing escort work to give a better life to your 2 kids; so why do you want to add one more kid and divide your resources further and make it harder for you? Remember, escort work lasts only as long as clients find you interesting; its not like a doctor or a lawyer where earnings increase with age/experience. And there is also a possibility that this child may not approve of what you did, which will result in a very resentful adult later. Accept the fertilization as an accident/mistake (which it is) and abort. A life is a much bigger responsibility and you already have 2 kids who need all that you can earn and share.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni was ment to be strating coll september so i can get myself a gud job in future so i dont have to carry on this line ov work but at the moment i feel i dont have a choice..thank u for ur answers i have a lot to think about x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): I got knocked up from a one night stand with a complete stranger who i had no means of contacting - okay, so not an escort but similar embarassment and the oh how on earth do i tell the kid and my family etc. But i figured, this baby is a blessing and its not biologically whats going on but who's there raising/loving the kid. I am proud to say i kept my baby - family think baby is product of a brief fling and my friends think baby is a result of a failed relationship. Both groups didn't need the whole truth but one day, i'll tell the baby and hope he'll understand. I wasn't always mummy, i wasn't always well behaved and sometimes you do things to get by (whether emotionally, mentally, finanially, spiritual or physically) ... at the end of the day he was loved and wanted and he'll always know that. Read "rasing boys without men" - you may have a girl but same principle really, kids are apparently better off with single lone mom parents.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 If you are feeling materal, have the child as you will only regret it later. It will be sad for the child though as it will grown up angry as did not know its father.
Your children are getting older and I feel you need to consider a different line of work. Have you thought about starting your own business for example or doing something from home.
Hope you make the right decision.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (9 June 2010):
 I don't usually advocate abortion, but in your case it is probably the best option. Secondly I would seriously consider a change of profession. Your children are old enough that they will figure out what you do for a living, or worse their friends will. This will cause all of you hardship. Your children may also be taken away. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): If you could live with it then you could just lie and say you got sperm from a sperm bank because you felt you were ready for another child.
That's about the only other option I can think of.
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A
female
reader, angelpie +, writes (9 June 2010):
dont terminate your pregnancy on this basis .
you dont owe your family the truth , simply an explaination. you are a grown woman , what you do is your business.
keep your child. tell your family you were dating and it was an accident and you left the man /he left you .
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 June 2010):
 That's an extremely personal decision that to be honest, in my personal opinion, no one can help you with. Consider the long term impact that any decision you make will have on not only your living situation and relationship with you and your family, but also on your mental status. The real question is - can you live with yourself if you terminate? If the answer is yes, then proceed. If the answer is no, then it will alter your life just as strongly as having the baby.
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