A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 7 weeks pregnant and a colleague of mine found out. I gave up smoking and was off with bad sickness so she put 2 and 2 together and figured it out. She asked me I told her I was and she promised to not say anything. I really wish I had denined it now as she has totally broken my trust!Everyone at work knows! My manager took me out hhe room to find out it was true and she wouldn't say how she found out!I know it's my work colleague as another member of staff overheard her tell someone and when I asked 2 other members of my team they also heard it from the same girl!I did confront her, asking why she felt the need to pone her nose in and she denied it, saying everyone had guessed! I wouldn't care but I'm not at my 3 month mark yet and now I'm worried my pregnancy is jinxed. Also it's MY news, not hers!I truly hate my colleague and she didn't even apologise, just sat there smugly. Grrr.... I'm not talking to her now and no doubt she will say I'm bullying her or something as she already caused trouble with someone else in the teamI suppose I just need advice on how to deal with her as she stresses me out so much!
View related questions:
at work, workplace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): It is a great shame that she took from you the joy of breaking your news to your coworkers.
You need to learn to be slightly rude when people step over boundaries. A curt "thank you for asking, but it is a personal matter" would have gone a long way.
There's not much you can do, and in a few months you will be stressing about much more important things. So just kick back and enjoy the calm before the storm.
You now know that this coworker is not be be trusted and that your supervisor lacks professionalism. With that in mind, you may care to formalise any verbal assurances your supervisor has made about employment conditions once you child is born.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): It is unfortunate that your confidence was compromised by the nosy colleague so to thwart any comeuppance from her end I would have stated that in due time I would have let them know about my own affairs as you didn't expect them to learn about it from the office gossiper. Aside from that aspect, I don't see how the news will be a disadvantage to you in the office and may be a blessing as your manager will treat you with more latitude with your assignments. Let go the hate as others have advised and keep your chin up that you would not have stooped to be the office news person. Just act cool to her. Perhaps, in time, the gossiper will see the error of her ways and ask you forgiveness for jumping the gun on your news.
...............................
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (22 May 2010):
 People at work know you are pregnant - it should have been you to tell the news but it wasn't. At least the manager can now do a health and safety assessment if that is appropriate for your job and you can make plans for maternity leave. It also allows you to freely book your antenatal appointments without having to invent excuses. Good luck with the pregnancy! Focus on something positive like the baby rather than the office gossip who let the cat out of the bag.
...............................
A
male
reader, RyanS +, writes (22 May 2010):
 I have never understood why women need to share every single detail of their private life with another woman and then feel bad when the other woman can't keep the secret. Remember, the only to keep a secret is to not tell it to anyone. Now coming back to the present, please stop stressing for small things, it affects the baby. Take care and be happy!
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 It had to be her and no one else.It has been done and there is nothing you can undo it.
Sometimes people make mistakes.Forgive her and do not talk to her about anything that is private or important. Sooner or later , your news will leak out.Just take it in your stride.
Try to think more positive and cultivate a positive attitude. Thinking negatively and stress can be bad for you and your baby's health.
Congrats to you !
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): Well firstly, you're pregnant, so I don't want you stressing over anything.
Secondly, she does sound like a bitch and you have the right to be annoyed. But they would've found out eventually anyway. People like her are just so unhappy with their own lives they need to gossip and pry into others.
No such thing as jinxing.
...............................
|
