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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hello.I'm a fitness model and I train at a studio with my friend who is also my trainer. We've just got involved together outside a business relationship. There's this other girl who he also trains. She's been with him almost as long as I have. The other day she was at the adjoining gym for a work out and it was close to closing. I was talking with him cause we were hanging out after our session.On her way out, she said to me... "Keep working on him until he caves in." With him there.We are not publicly an item yet.It seemed like such an odd thing for her to say.Does anybody have an idea why she'd say that and what her motivation was?Takes nerve is my opinion. Not sure what would drive her to say such a thing.My immediate take was she was being competitive or jealous for some reason.It really is none of her business. So now I am worried there is/was something going on with them.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 October 2017):
 OP, you would be surprised how many people just LOVE to get involved in getting people together (or split up).
And I think when you have a personal trainer that you are PHYSICALLY almost intimate with (in a non-sexual way) she might feel she KNOWS him very well - so she was TEASING him. You were just the "prop" she used. MAYBE because she sensed the chemistry between the two of you.
Honestly? People say the darndest things without thinking or with no real thought behind it. In the spur of the moment.
We all have those moments where stuff comes out of our mouths before we thought carefully about it...
I'd chalk it up to just her saying something to SAY something. Maybe to try and get his attention? Or yours?
A
male
reader, PJ Roy  +, writes (28 October 2017):
If I were in your shoes, I'd ask myself "What's the most that I have to 'fear' about what she said?"
I'd say that in the worst case, most of the information that her 'message' bore was not meant for *you*, but for *him*.
That would be her way of piqueing his interest; reverse-psychology, you know... she's cool with it if he picks somebody else after all...
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 October 2017):
 It sounds to me like an innocuous joke, and it's not that odd .
She does not know that you and the trainer are dating, but obviously there's sexual tension between you, and when people are into each other they give away often very perceptible vibes, often even just by their body posture.
It could be perhaps that she likes him too, I have no idea.
But in this case why are you mad at her , and not at your almost bf ? He could have said " Oh I caved already " but did not. Any specific reason to keep your dates a secret ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2017): Hi Honey pie,
It's the poster. I did not think anything was going on before. But this comment threw me for a loop. It seemed odd to say something like that, #1. And #2, it takes nerve to say it, or almost like a level of comfort was already established to say such a thing in the first place.
I don't want to jump to conclusions
straight away. I was just trying to see what others thought before I decide how to deal with it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 October 2017):
My guess?
She isn't blind and can see that the two of you are interested in each other. Since you and he are keeping it on the down-low and not common knowledge - she might have been telling you that you should go for him as he seemed INTO you.
That is how I see it.
Maybe she DID try it with him and he declined and she noticed how he interacts with you.
My question to you is if you THING they could possibly have something going on... then WHY are you dating him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2017): She probably noticed that you are interested in him, which is true. (It’s not to say he is not interested, he just has a better poker face).
I’ve said such things to friends in a joke-y kinda wink-wink way but not in front of their man, unless I knew them both. And my intention is to be supportive....
So... I think it’s harmless. But rude of her to say without actually knowing you and rude to say with him around.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (28 October 2017):
 When people are interested in each other it is often more obvious than they believe. I would guess that is all that was going on.
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