A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Eye contact during sex?My husband usually turns his head away from me or closes his eyes. I dont remember having a problem with it years ago... but recently he holds me close with my head buried in his neck and almost forcibly stops me from being in his line of vision - ie resisting it when I try to move. It freaks me out - like 'dont get in the way of whoever im fantasising about', your face will ruin the fantasy! or maybe im just paranoid......... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2017): Hi all OP here.
We have only just started having more sex as our sex life had taken a bit of a nose dive (alot of work related stress plus trying to conceive - that's not much fun when you are timing it!!!) So we have stopped trying now - just going to take it easy and have "un timed sex" to enjoy it more, but due to the stress - we hadn't had sex in a while. That has eased off now so my husbands sex drive is returning - I guess I was feeling a bit rejected and now I think I am paranoid. We had sex last night and he definitely opened his eyes and looked at me more... I'm not out of shape but have gained about 5kgs since we got married... I need to just rela and enjoy it more. My therapist keeps telling me to stop worrying about other peoples thoughts Haha
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (28 November 2017):
If he is giving it to you, it would be peculiar if he is not looking at your facial expressions, which help tell him if he's getting the job done or not. If he closes his eyes when you are giving it to him or it is mutual, it could well be due to him concentrating on his physical sensations. If he keeps his eyes closed all the time during sex, I'd have to guess he is fantasizing.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (27 November 2017):
 It's absolutely normal to wonder why this would happen. You need to ask him, OP."Hey Jim, I'd like to ask you something, just out of curiosity. Why do you avoid looking at me when we make love?" If he denies it, try not to get frustrated, but ask again: "I'd just like to know, as there may be a way to look at each other sometimes."If he denies it again, it's possible he doesn't realise he's doing it, doesn't know why he does it or just doesn't feel comfortable saying why. Wait until you have sex, then call him out (nicely) when he does it. Stop the session and say "I'd like you to look at me, please". If he says why, calmly explain.The best thing to do is ask, but STAY CALM. If you get annoyed with his answers (or lack of), it will likely make him defensive and drive a wedge. If he continues, even when you've mentioned wanting eye contact sometimes, ask him to see a marriage/sex counsellor with you and go on your own, if he won't tag along.Sometimes it's to keep an erection and focusing on something else (often not sexual). Sometimes it's to quiet someone's mind and block out stress. Other times, if they've lost interest in sex (may or may not be related to the person they are with), sometimes they do it to pretend they aren't doing it.You must ask, but approach it gently, to give you the best chance of a decent discussion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2017): Not sure, I would be curious to hear from more guys on here although I have experiences with guys who seem to prefer no eye contact as well. I'm not sure if they are just trying to focus on the sensations (and the other senses are too much) or if indeed they are trying to conjure up random fantasies? I would like an answer to this too. Anyway, I don't think it is completely rare since I have experienced it too, there must be some guys out there who do this... who can tell us why?
Yes ask him and tell us on here what he says since I am wondering the same thing.
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A
male
reader, PJ Roy  +, writes (27 November 2017):
I'm personally not into fantasizing about other things or people during sex. I find masturbation loads better suited for that.
if you say he urges you not to move... a different angle that I can think of is that I'd usually do that, i.e. breaking eye contact, to better focus on making the whole thing last _longer_
A powerful fantasy would on the contrary have the opposite effect. So, maybe that applies to your husband too.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (27 November 2017):
 My first thought was that perhaps he has problems orgasming (or even holding his erection) if he doesn't fantasize. Most people need to have fantasies at some point in their lives to help them climax.
You need to talk to him when you are not in bed, when you are both relaxed. Don't accuse him of anything because that will put him on the defensive straight away. Just be relaxed about it and say you'd noticed he doesn't make any eye contact recently when having sex and ask if there is a reason for it.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (27 November 2017):
 I would ask him about it...because it is weird to me...even as a guy. I would want to see if you are enjoying yourself. Ask before you create a worse case scenario in your head.
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