A
male
age
36-40,
*jekim
writes:Met this awesome girl online, we hit it off immediately, we had a ton in common, both artists, both geeks, and into the same games. I asked her out and we had a great time at an arcade. we did a ton of art collabs together, played games together and chatted and texted a bunch.We had a second date, just hanging out, she mentioned she had had a "booty call" a few days before jokingly, but didnt mind telling me since we wernt really together or anything. We hung out and had a great time. at end of night we made out and she performed a hj on me, but due to my meds, she couldn't make me finish and got tired and gave upa few days later we were chatting online ,then she started to get real distant, not chatting as much and so on.. and i asked her when she was free for a 3rd date. However she sad she had changed work schedules and would not be able to go out for the whole week. the next day while texting, i mentioned i really liked her and our time together. i wasnt asking her to go exclusive or anything, but at least wanted to make sure she wasnt "not feeling it" or something.i didnt get a response for like 24 hours then she texts me back saying she forgot to hit the send button. saying she wasent looking to go exclusive or looking for anything yet since its been two dates and didn't know if she wanted to continue romantically or remain friends. (i made sure to stress in my text i wasent asking to go exclusive, i just wanted her to know i liked her) but really enjoyed our time. I asked how her day was going and she never responded.later i asked if she wanted to play some games that night, i never heard from her and she said she forgot to get back to me and was tired and going to sleep...What have i done wrong and what should i do next? It feels like shes gone really cold and i dont know... I dont want to be "just friends" with her... I really like her a lot and want this to lead to something more and dont want to mess this up. what should i do?
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male
reader, PJ Roy  +, writes (22 August 2017):
You might as well tell yourself this:
The ease with which she told you that she had had a 'booty call' indicates that where you are thinking that you were living something totally special with her, she's done all that and probably more with, say, a dozen other guys, minimum.
That's why, if she can pull the plug that easily, it's because she had had plenty of other options all along. She's on a much faster paced cycle of meeting guys and dumping them, rinse, repeat.
Look at it this way: your 15 minutes of fame are over. Still, if when you know that you know nothing, you know everything, then
if you know that you have nothing, then you have everything. Use it to move on.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (22 August 2017):
 There is nothing you can do man.
Take the hint, she's not interested. Stop wondering what you did wrong because you will be beating yourself up forever.
Things just weren't meant to be, let it go and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2017): I'm afraid I agree that she doesn't sound that into you as anything more than a friend. Sorry! I also have something else to ask you - you said you made out then she gave you a hj before eventually giving up. How exactly did that go? Did you do anything for her? Were you concentrating on your own 'O' so much that you forgot to engage with her?
I ask because I had this happen with a guy I'd been seeing once before and, well you can read my question if you want the whole story: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/having-sex-with-him-was-so-unsexy-i.html
Alwsys remember, a large part of how women get turned on is around feeling desired. Like we are the ones that are driving the man wild, not just general horniness. So maybe something to consider for the next time...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 August 2017):
 I think she has decided that you two are not as great of a match in person as she had first thought. THAT is what dating is about.
Is she also "seeing" other people? The booty call thing?
If she is, maybe she is more into casual NSA sex than a relationship and since you didn't seem able to climax with her hand (so to speak) she might think sex would be off the menu with you and that is not what she is looking for. OR she IS looking for an exclusive partner. She might think you weren't that attracted to her. And if you so profusely kept mentioning you are not looking to be exclusive, if SHE is... she feels she is wasting her time.
She has already pulled away. Stop texting her or contacting her and move on.
The whole "maybe we can be friends" her trying to let you down "gently".
Sorry. Try with another girl.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (22 August 2017):
Sorry buddy she just isn't that into you. You need to take the hint. People who like each other move heaven and earth to see each other and that isn't the case. You didn't do anything wrong but something hasn't clicked. She thinks you're nice enough which is why she's disengaging gently but she doesn't see the deeper connection. That's life. Feel better soon.
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