A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i crave for a baby. i am 17 and quite mature for my age. i know 10 girls one of which is my best friend, all my age who have had babys last year after leaving school. i went to college. my boyfriend and i have been together 4 3years in november and he would really like a baby aswell. its not because evry1else has a baby. we just feel we are ready to love and look after our own little bundle of joy.wotd yoo think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): okay well let me tell you this my sister which is 24 now and has a 5 year old 7 months she was 17 pregnant and 18 when he was born and to this day its still hard for her
shes going thru a divorce because her husban which married her for the baby left because he couldnt take it and end up in prison and her or her son havent seen him in 5 years
she has gotten no money from him at all and she works at walmart finally making 10 an hour after 3 years and my parent raised her son as she worked nights and just got day work there taking a pa cut to give my parents a break
shes always broke and income tax time is right around hes birthday is the only reason why she can give him a good birthday
she cant move out as she cant afford it and when hes sick she cant go to work because all he wants is mommy
plus she wouldnt even have a car if it wasnt for help
she has little friends left and never hardly gets a date
she does love him but the situations are very stressful
the last thing i say you need
babys are wonderful but you should wait dont suffer the baby for your lack of knowledge
if my sister would have waited till now she would have been really set but shes not,
she didnt start collage because she was pregnant but doesnt mean she loves him less but he is a handful
good luck think twice
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 This PERSON that you're going to create -- it's really selfish to bring him/her into the world just because you can't think of anything else to do. You're giving him/her a lot to live up to, since you're making it YOUR purpose.
*Do you have a house in a nice neighborhood, so that the property-taxes will pay for a good school district?
*Are you married? (Marriage is more than a quaint, old-fashioned notion. It's a LEGAL protection for you and for the baby. I'm not saying your BF could leave, but what if a car hits him? You're not entitled to even visit him in the hospital (let alone inherit or get insurance to help you live) unless you're married.)
*Can you afford formula, diapers, baby gear, clothes/shoes that he's ALWAYS outgrowing, etc., etc.? Not to mention rent/mortgage and food?
*Are you counting on help from other people without taking their wants/needs into consideration? Your parents are almost done raising their children. Why should they have to help raise yours?
*Don't you want to be able to give this child the very best? If so, you need to have a lot more before you continue with your plan.
I really recommend waiting until you have all of the above things before you create someone who could resent you for putting all this pressure on them. Good luck, hon.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): I have a 5 month old and I can't work because I wouldn't be able to earn enough money to afford day care & I am 26..I have gone to college. I used to make $20,000.00 a year at my old job, so the baby is costing me that, plus money for formula which costs me $140.00 a month, she is now eating baby food which is .63 a jar which lasts about 2 feedings because I mix it with rice cereal. I also have to buy her diapers at $20.00 for a box that lasts about 10 days. wipes as well. Clothes, which they quickly grow out of & you're constantly having to replace. Not to mention all the things you will need just to get by such as a crib (about $250.00) crib bedding (about $200.00) a toddler car seat (mine was $175.00) a infant car seat ($80.00) a highchair ($100.00) a walker ($50.00) a baby swing ($80.00) a bouncy chair($40.00) bathing towels, rags, a baby tub, bathing soaps, baby laundry detergent, bibs, bottles, baby blankets, baby toys, health insurance for your baby and you (it costs $20,000.00 to have a baby with no insurance) a car to get to & from your baby's dr. appts. and your pre-natal appts. oh my God chick, I could go on & on forever. They need so many things and they take up 100% of your time. I am with my baby all day, every day. You will get no sleep for the first few weeks at least making it impossible to do much else than feed & change your baby. Now my husband & I have to buy a bigger home too. Trust me, until you're married and done with school you do not want to make this decision. Your bf is what, 17? Chances of him giving his life up to take care of you & this baby are slim to none at his age. He may say that now, but when the excitement wears off & reality kicks in, he's gone. You'll end up a single mother with no money making skills & you'll regret it. Your child at least deserves married parents who are adults & have the finanicial means to meet all her needs. It sounds to me like you're using this as a cop out so that you don't have to aspire to learn who you are & what you really want out of life. Your child shouldn't have to pay for your lack of life goals or your laziness.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 October 2007):
 I think it's a terrible shame that you have no dreams or aspirations in your life other than conceiving. What do you plan to offer your child? A parent with a good education and life experiences can offer a child so much more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): Do either of you have jobs?? I am talking real jobs, not babysitting or anything like that. That was all I had, a babysitting job, and my ex fiance went to jail where he still is. We split up and he has only seen our son a total of 5 times. I dont feel our 1 year old needs to grow up this way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTheres nothing i want to do tho, i havnt got a dream, i havnt got any ambitions. i just want my own baby, i want to love him/her && look after him/her for the rest of my life. its all i have ever wanted. is it so wrong? xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): girl, you don't wanna put yourself into this situation besides being young, just remember you still have a career etc to worry about. Ask your friends how they feel about beings moms, they must be really honest with you. Its not easy! My cousin had her baby at 17 and she was pretty much unhappy. It wasn't fun seeing her cry every day. She was miserable not because of the baby because of her age and all her dreams had to wait. and it gave her a slow down. she wasnt ready to settle down. seeing all her friends having fun and talking about school and their careers was the worst for her. So I'd say think twice about it. i love babies as well and i cant wait for my first child but because i have dreams to attend to I'll wait! You don't wanna put your baby into a situation where you cant provide for her/him! its the worst thing you could ever do! amandalee 20
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A
female
reader, drastic knowledge +, writes (3 October 2007):
 you got to know think isnt the best thing to say during this wanting a baby
you just have to see for your self enough said
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A
female
reader, drastic knowledge +, writes (3 October 2007):
your too young to be thinking about having a baby at your age
think of school
what if he leaves you and that baby
you need to think of your self and you have to make sure you can support u and this baby
with or with out him
good luck and this is only my opion you have to make the rest of your judgement on your own but its not all its make out to be
babys are wonderful but they need more than you could imagen
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for what yoo have all sed. But none of it puts me off, i no its not gona be easy & i really think i am ready. infact i am looking 4ward to it :) .xx.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): A craving is just that. Trouble is having a baby is not like nicotine, alcohol or food. This will be a full on commitment for the rest of your life. When I was 17 I craved to be married and guess what.... when I was 19 I was engaged and married by 21. Now I'm 35, separated and have not had children. We grow and change massively in our 20's. Why rush? Travel, study, work, love, laugh but most of all experience some more of life yourself before you bring someone else into it. You will both feel the benefit of it.
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A
female
reader, sweetlilpeachx69 +, writes (2 October 2007):
it is hard to be a young mom i was 20 when my son was born and he is 1 now he is into every thing and just think of the freedom u have well when you have kids u have to get a sitter or take the kid with you
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A
female
reader, lisa21 +, writes (2 October 2007):
hiya, i'm 21 and 8.5 months pregnant, it was not planned,
I would not change my situation for the world, i should've been more careful, but i live up to my responsibilities,
my babys not even here yet and it's alot of very hard work, me and my fiance have rented our own 2bed house,
we both are working (i'm on maternity leave now) and it really isn't as easy as i thought, even with the help of our famillies it's very stressful emotionally and physically draining and bloody expensive. as i said i do not wish it never happened, but i do wish i'd waited a few more years.
i miss out on alot of things, it's not going to be easy and i'm a few years older than you, you seriously need to consider the whole concept of bringing a human into this world, not just focus on the fact of a baby, they grow up and will always your child. please think x x x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): It doesn't matter what anyone on here thinks... you'll know when it's right. Keep in mind though - once this is done, you can't undo it. Having a baby is not about having a baby - it's about having a toddler, and a child, and a teenager... this is the REST OF YOUR LIFE.
Being a parent isn't just about being mature, it's about being really ready to give up your life as you know it.
Is there anything you'd like to do first that you couldn't do with a child on board... like travelling??
The most important thing going into parenthood, I believe, is not to romanticise it - it is HARD! You can NEVER again be selfish and say "well, I want to eat ice-cream for breakfast, lunch & dinner" or "I want to sleep til midday" or "I want to get in my car & just go to the movies / beach / concert"... all of the things you CAN do while you're child-free. When you're a parent, your life isn't yours anymore -- it revolves all around this other little person who is completely dependent on you.
Be ABSOLUTELY sure you've got everything you want to do out of your system first. That is what being a parent is about - being ready to be completely there for that little person.... a lifetime commitment. That's maturity.
If that's where you are, then go ahead; if not, just wait.
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