A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Will my teacher get into trouble if we have a relationship?I'm 18 and my teacher is right out of university he's 23. I'v always dated older men but this is different. He is a teacher at my school. I really like but i don't know how he feels I catch him looking at me and we talk whilst smoking outside the school. Before I start flirting or finding out more about him I want to make sure he won't get into trouble. He is going to Newcastle to teach next year and i'm worried i'll never see him again when i leave if I don't do something but I don't want to ruin his career.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008): I think you should tell him how you feel and if he feels the same then do what you like together coz if you don't tell him how you feel you might not be able to have sex with him!!!!
A
female
reader, estc girl  +, writes (8 December 2007):
ya ok so ur 18 u can and its legal but would it be awkword?
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A
female
reader, Pinkbees09  +, writes (28 September 2007):
 I don't think this would be illegal but he would probably get in trouble and you'dget taunted by your fellow students so don't do it. You'll regret it later in life, you can be friends with him though.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007): There are other fish in the sea. Find one in college.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (28 September 2007):
 He could get fired. The problem with student/teacher relationships, even with close ages and both of you being consulting adults, is the power difference. Even if he never would, he COULD affect your status/grade/etc., so it's considered unethical for you and him to have a relationship.
Wait until you change schools. Once you're a FORMER student, you're okay for him. Until then, don't tempt him. You could ruin his career.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007): I keep seeing posts on this site about people hung up on their teachers. Get real. I am a teacher. As a teacher it is considered dead wrong to have an involvement with a student. You can lose your teaching license. Come out of your fantasy world and leave this guy alone.To your credit you are at least aware of the damage that could be done to his career if he gets involved with you. It is not wrong to date him if...he is no longer your teacher but for now he is and you need to back off. Are you interested because he is a young authority figure. Would you have liked him if he was a guy you met in the pub...I would suggest you date others and give this one a miss
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A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (28 September 2007):
 I don't know that it would go so far as ruining his entire career, but if anyone found out about it (and believe me, they will, people thrive on stuff like that), he could get in big trouble. I don't think either one of you want that. I would say don't pursue anything with him until he is no longer your teacher.
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A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (28 September 2007):
 I will get right down to the core of this as quickly as I can. You should not have a relationship with a teacher and he should not have one with you. It's inappropriate to have an intimate relationship when there is a professional supervisor to subordinate relationship already existing between two people.
Relationships like that are forbidden in most workplaces, and most professions where there is an explicit relationship like that . . corrections officers, therapists, teachers professional codes of ethics forbid those relationships.
Point blank if you begin a relationship with him, you cannot be sure that the power disparity that exists in the professional setting will not pollute your personal space or vice versa. If you really want to go after this guy then wait until he leaves or you graduate.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (28 September 2007):
 In a word, yes. As long as he is your teacher you cannot have any kind of romantic/sexual relationship. It will cost him his job and reputation. There is a woman who is a teacher at my local high school - she's about 32 or 33 and she had a relationship with a senior boy at the last school she taught at. when it was discovered she was kicked out of the school and BY LAW she has to live with her mother! a court ruled that as long as she is teaching she cannot have her own house and must live with her mother even though she is in her 30s. apparently this makes it less likely that she would be using her house to take school boys back and do unspeakable things to!so what im saying is if something happens between you and him he could potentially lose everything and his entire life will be changed, and its a bit of a grey area since you are over 16 but there is debate about whether or not it could be classed as abuse. mainly because of the authority he has and the position he is in. there is so much for him to lose. its not worth it.if you do think he likes you then say something to him before he leaves. having a relationship with an ex-teacher is ok but while he is teaching you he has responsibilities and cannot overstep the mark.good luckbrookex
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (27 September 2007):
 That is a touchy subject, since you're both considered adult age. I would have to say yes, just knowing schools and what they expect from their teachers. I go to school too, their rule is "no staff member is allowed to date any student" it doesn't matter if they're in class with the teacher, it's just not allowed. I don't know if your country has laws against employment sexual harassment. This falls along the same line. It's based on professions behavior between you and your instructor.
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