With an abusive family, at what point do you say enough us enough?
Q. My father used to physically abuse me all the time when I was a child, and my mother and older siblings (I'm the youngest) used to back him up in this, emotionally abusing me and telling me that I deserved it. My father was also on the verge of ...
A. 20 August 2014: My family abuse me mentally and emotionally for all of my life. My parents and siblings were all a part of this. Eventually, when I turned 18 I relised I'd had enough, and deserved to be treated better than that. So I moved out, changed my phone ... (read in full...)
Preparing for a job interview and I'm very nervous. How do I go about it?
Q. I have an interview for a Youth Worker job tomorrow afternoon. I'm very nervous. I haven't had an interview for ages.It wasn't my idea to do this kind of work. The Jobcentre put me forward for it. I am a shy person, so I hope I would be ok working ...
A. 17 July 2014: There are lists online for what documents are suitable for a CRB check. The document list is quite specific, and if you don't have them it can hold up a CRB application. I have been CRB checked 6 times for various different positions, and it is ... (read in full...)
Is this age difference morally wrong?
Q. Big question. Is it morally wrong to date a guy this young? I'm 22 almost 23, seeing a guy who is 17 almost 18. (We live in Texas so he's legal age of consent). He is wonderful to me, spends all his time with me, shows public displays of affection ...
A. 6 May 2014: Me and my fiance have been together for going on 4 years now. I was 17 and he was 29 when we got together. If it feels right then go for it. He's over the legal age so you're not doing anything wrong (although I'm not from the US so unsure about ... (read in full...)
I made great plans but now I'm having second thoughts about everything
Q. I'm currently in my final year at college (year 13) studying Media and Film, I have also applied for universities and have had all 5 offers back to study Journalism. The University I have chosen as my first choice is Sunderland, which is about 2 ...
A. 20 February 2014: I'm in my first year at university, so can relate to this post I think. In Year 13 I was absolutely positive that I wanted to be a Primary School teacher. I did voluntary placements, applied to 5 Universities and got offers from all of them ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my looks? It hurts that strangers stare at me
Q. Im an Average, if slightly odd looking person, Im female, im not "ugly" but am a little odd looking, Im slimish build,very pale and have long neck which I hate hate... and bony collarbones wich i always cover up, I wear glasses at times,( as I ...
A. 11 September 2013: Hey. I'm sorry you've had to encounter judgmental people who think it's ok to stare. I'm sure your neck and collar bones aren't that bad, or noticeable it is probably worsened by you stressing about it. The first thing you have to do is accept t... (read in full...)
Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?
Q. Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it? I'm asking this question in reference to my dream career but I'm interested in all general opinions on this too. Thanks!...
A. 19 June 2013: I think it is dependent on what you want to do as a career choice. For example if you wanted to be a dancer, but had two left feet and could not dance at all, no amount of desire and passion would necessarily make you an award wining dancer. ... (read in full...)
It feels like I'm living in a version of Harold & Maude!
Q. This is an update on http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-16-year-old-son-is-in-love.html I should mention, this woman is a counsellor for people with gambling addictions - adults, that is, not a school counsellor and she's also extremely wealth...
A. 29 May 2013: I'm 19 and my partner is 31. We got together two years ago, and I'm not as lucky as your son, to have a mother who is remotely supportive of his decisions. You mentioned in your last post that you were going to meet this woman, how did that go? In ... (read in full...)
How do you cope with not having a proper family?
Q. To cut a long story short, I grew up with an abusive single mother (I never knew my dad) and the few extended family members I have always took my mother's side on everything. My siblings are extremely toxic and have done everything possible (even ...
A. 17 May 2013: I had to cut off my biological family two years ago when I was 17. My mother and father were both manipulative and extremely emotionally abusive. All of my school friends were on a different level emotionally to me, and couldn't understand what my ... (read in full...)
If I want optimal results, should I be clean shave, have some stubble, or full beard?
Q. I know looks are only part of what women want, and other factors for attraction come into play, like how active I am, how I take care of myself, etc. But, my question here is, what should I do, facial hair wise, to get some more potential suitor...
A. 16 May 2013: Facial hair is entirely about personal preference. For me personally, my partner has to be clean shaven. I do not like facial hair at all, not so much for the look of it, but the feel, I do not like prickly facial hair on my skin! Yes when trying to ... (read in full...)
Anyone have a boyfriend who was so satisfied he gave up porn?
Q. Are there any women here whose boyfriend's stopped watching porn because they felt they didn't need it anymore because they were satisfied fully? My ex claimed he would of stopped anyway if I hadn't of told him to stop....
A. 19 January 2013: My other half doesn't watch it on his own, he says I'm all he needs. Having said that, it wouldn't be an issue for me even if he continued to watch it (we watch it together on occasion), I never asked him to stop he chose to. As far as I see it, ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to intoduce my bipolar boyfriend to my family
Q. I'm scared to introduce my boyfriend, who has bipolar disorder, to my family. I think he feels offended because he hasn't been around my family much yet. He doesn't know why i don't want him to be around them too much though. I don't think they ...
A. 27 December 2012: He's your boyfriend, and you've already said that you and him are serious. Bi-polar isn't going anywhere, it's going to be a factor in your relationship, and if you can support it and still love him then your family should too. Perhaps before y... (read in full...)
Should I be upset about my Christmas present?
Q. Ok... I'm just wanting some opinions. Last year for our first Christmas, my boyfriend bought me some electronics. such as a DVD player and a Nintendo wii. (which was nice of him.) I know it was the thought that counts, I am more of a romantic person ...
A. 20 December 2012: I think you should apologise for more than just giving mixed signals. Your reaction was unreasonable, rude and very ungrateful! If I was your partner, I'd have probably taken the gift back! He tried to be nice to you, do something really romantic ... (read in full...)
I'm 17. My family have banned me from seeing my 29 year old boyfriend
Q. Hey I'm 17 years old and live in England with my parents, brother and sister. I don't really get on with my family, my parents have said on numerous occasions that i'm a disappointment to them, and they favour the other two children over me. I ...
A. 26 November 2012: Hey Guys,
Thank you for all you kind answers and help. I thought you might like an update on my situation. 9 months ago my parents started a particularly nasty and bitter row with me, whilst I was at work, in front of my colleagues and cust... (read in full...)
I Don't want sexy undies for Christmas again!
Q. Im dreading my Christmas present from my partner, it will be 'sexy underwear' i dont know why he keeps wasting his money because ive told him time and time again that i dont like it and it makes me feel cheap. I dont feel comfortable wearing it at ...
A. 22 November 2012: How about ask him what he wants for Christmas? Say that you are struggling what to get him as a gift and want it to be special, so would like to know what he wants. So suggest that you both make a list of what you'd like for Christmas. He'll think ... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy who gets cold sores?
Q. This is only a quick question but something which is seriously troubling me... Some opinions from you lovely people would be appreciated! There is this guy from work I really like, we really click, if anything was to happen between us I know I w...
A. 8 November 2012: Anyone can get a cold sore, it doesn't mean you're dirty or anything like that. There's no way you should let a cold sore stopping you going for this, you may well have had a cold sore as a child, or could develop one at some point in life. They're ... (read in full...)
Is a four year age difference such a deal breaker? We broke up. I still love her. Will this work?
Q. I am a man 21 doing a Degree and in my second year. I have been dating a gal a four years older than me for four years. But last year we talked about our age difference and asked if I was going to work. After sometime, I felt intimidated ...
A. 13 October 2012: You're 21, you aren't a child. I'm 18 and my partner is 12 years older than me. We don't even notice the age difference, it isn't important. If it's that big of a deal to you, then it seems to me that it's you stopping this relationship, not a ... (read in full...)
B/f & I are not on the same page about things that are important to me!
Q. Hi I would just like to check with you guys, I have been with my boyfriend for a year, and we enjoy being together but you get to know a bit more about a person as time passes and I have found some areas where we are not on the same page like buying ...
A. 2 August 2012: My partner is quite a bit older than me, so like you I thought it was very important to make sure we were on the same page when it came to important stuff such as future marriage, homes, children etc. If something is that important to you, you ... (read in full...)
What can I wear to hide my tummy? I'm a little chubby. Rest is presentable.
Q. Hey everybody! I would like some help. What can i wear on a date that will hide mt tummy the most? I have a flappy tummy. I'm chubby, got a nice ass. I'm about 1.7m tall. thanks. ...
A. 27 July 2012: Something A line, so tighter around your bust to accentuate that, maybe wear a bra that maximizes your assets if your nervous about those, and so that the top/dress widens past your tummy :) ... (read in full...)
How to avoid pregnancy
Q. Hi, I am new to this so sorry if I'm doing it wrong. Anyways, I am currently 19 years old and I really want to have sex with my boyfriend of 8 months, but I am terrified of getting pregnant... I know about condoms, but those arent always effectiv...
A. 6 February 2012: Don't be sorry!! You can't ask for advice wrong! Condoms if used correctly are incredibly effective, but can in very rare occurences tear or burst. It might put your mind at ease to go on some form of birth control or contraceptive as well as using ... (read in full...)
I have an eye infection and can't wear makeup. Should I not go out clubbing?
Q. Honest question, i'm going out tomorrow but I can't wear eye makeup with an infection I have at the moment. I've never been clubbing without makeup and I worry guys will think I look ugly without it, I don't know whether to go out and just have a ...
A. 15 December 2011: What would you do, if you couldn't find your favourite pair of heels? Would you stay in, and not go out, or find something else to wear? The way I see it, is make-up is an accessory like any other. If you can't wear eye make-up, focus on your hair, ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my boyfriend compares me to his ex girlfriends
Q. I feel weird about my bfs exes. My bf was my first and I was his fifth and some days I don't think about it, but when I do it makes me very uncomfortable and sad. I worry he compares me and wishes I do stuff like his exs. He particularly finds fi...
A. 14 November 2011: I sometimes have the same problem with my boyfriend, but what you have to remember is that they are EX-girlfriends. He's with you now, because he wants and loves you. Don't try to be his exes, because he loves you for you. There's nothing wrong with ... (read in full...)
Don't want mum to know I'm on the pill - how can I fake a period?
Q. This sounds like a stupid question, but there is a reason behind it. I'm 16, so please don't lecture me on legality. Myself and my boyfriend are planning on taking our relationship 'to the next level' soon, and decided to take some precautions- nei...
A. 12 October 2011: There are other reasons to be on the pill, not just as a contraceptive. My sister was advised to go on the pill because of a hormone imbalance. I'm in talks with my doctor about going on the pill because of aching boobs. If your mum questioned it ... (read in full...)
My B/f was aroused, but couldn't climax. Could it have been due to stress, or am I just not good enough for him?
Q. Hia Today I found myself in a situation I've never been in before, and I was just wondering if anyone here could advise me on it :) I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and we've been sexually active for a while now. Today when thing...
A. 12 October 2011: No, i haven't been putting any pressure on him at all. I reassured him that it was totally fine, these were just my own private worries. He's quite a bit older. Thankyou though, very helpful answers :)... (read in full...)
Problems with penetration.
Q. I'm a virgin as is my boyfriend but only being 18 we haven't been in a rush to have sex, we both wanted me to be on the pill and I only got on that about a month ago, and have always just agreed that it'll happen when it happens. The other night ...
A. 12 October 2011: I lost my virginity to my boyfriend a few months ago. I'm 17. We found him on top was better, so he could guide it in, but I trust him enough, that he stopped when i asked him. Just be persistent, go gentle. The more you worry about it, the more ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend I 'think' I might be pregnant?
Q. Do I tell my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant? I'm 19 in a few days, he's 18 and we've been in a stable, loving relationship for 2 and a half years. I am on the pill and we use condoms everytime we have sex. I have been experiencing a lot of ...
A. 14 September 2011: I had a similar scare, and went through it alone. Found out by myself, and it was awful! Knowing that the one man I love wasn't there. As it turns out, it was just stress, totally nothing to worry about! I told him afterwards, and he said he'd have ... (read in full...)
I worry the age difference might be too much.
Q. So a couple months ago I met this guy at the gym and we see eachother there a lot and just say hi and eventually he added me on facebook. About 3 weeks ago, we had a conversation and exchanged numbers. Since then we've talked almost everynight on ...
A. 12 September 2011: I'm 17 just like you. 18 in a few months. My partner is 29, 30 in a few months. People despise our relationship, have called him all sorts, a paedophile, and such. But that is as far as problems regarding the age difference go-other peoples' sheer ... (read in full...)
I'm 17. My family have banned me from seeing my 29 year old boyfriend
Q. Hey I'm 17 years old and live in England with my parents, brother and sister. I don't really get on with my family, my parents have said on numerous occasions that i'm a disappointment to them, and they favour the other two children over me. I ...
A. 22 August 2011: I wouldn't want to cut ties with my family, but when they find out about my relationship they will disown me. I know this for a fact. My boyfriend lives in the same town as me, and my college, so it wouldn't be running away. I'm in my final year... (read in full...)
I'm 17. My family have banned me from seeing my 29 year old boyfriend
Q. Hey I'm 17 years old and live in England with my parents, brother and sister. I don't really get on with my family, my parents have said on numerous occasions that i'm a disappointment to them, and they favour the other two children over me. I ...
A. 22 August 2011: I've got my final year of sixth form, and have steps in place to go to university afterwards. My boyfriend has supported me in deciding on university all the way. I have two jobs that I fit in around school. They have actually said that they favour ... (read in full...)
I am attracted to my cousin, she hasn't given me an answer but she hasn't said no either....where do I take it from here?
Q. I have been attracted to my cousin for years now and have actually talked to her about it. She says i am a good looking guy and would date me in a heartbeat but since we are cousins we cant. She said she would think about sex but has never given me ...
A. 15 July 2011: It's not illegal at all. Or incest. It may be frowned upon by family members, but it's not wrong. You have to do what makes you happy. If you like her, go for it. Forget the cousin thing, and approach her as you would a normal girl :) x... (read in full...)
How to make sex less painful for her?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been really intmate, it will be our first time together or for either one of us. We usually get in the mood and I go beyond to get her aroused and she does but our problem is that it hurts her a lot which we know is normal ...
A. 15 July 2011: The first time for a girl, it is normal for it to hurt. The first couple of times really. Let her know that she's in control, so if it hurts and she asks you to stop, then you stop. That'll make her relax a bit, and it won't hurt as much. As long as ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to worry that you won't be good at sex?
Q. Hey Just a quick question. My boyfriend is older than I am, and I know he isn't a virgin, whereas I am. I'm a 17 year old girl and we've been together for 8 months now, and we're ready to take the next step in our relationship and sleep together...
A. 1 June 2011: Thankyou. That helped a lot. He was very understanding and caring. Very gentle, and it didn't hurt too much. Thankyou for putting my mind at ease... (read in full...)
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