A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a man 21 doing a Degree and in my second year. I have been dating a gal a four years older than me for four years.But last year we talked about our age difference and asked if I was going to work. After sometime, I felt intimidated n stopped giving her the attention she needed. She told me to tell her if I was not interested anymore. I suggested that we breakup. Since then I have tried looking for a placement but can't find one as as mature and as faithful as her. She tells me she loves me and I tell her I do but I am wondering if we can make a good relationship after all this time and issues of age. I like her maturity and everything about her except the age difference. I really need her back but I don't know if it’s ok to ignore the issue of age...I love her very much...please help and how do I get her back........
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female
reader, Just_Kay  +, writes (13 October 2012):
 My partner is four years older than me. It can look strange to some people, but I don't think that age should be a detrimental factor in a relationship. If you want to make it work, you shouldn't let a comparatively small age difference get in the way. You're both adults.If you don't want to make it work, and want to move on, you can't do that by looking for a replacement, that's not how relationships work. Every person is different, and so every relationship is different. You can't replace somebody, only move on and find somebody different, not a replacement.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 October 2012):
 4 years is barely a difference and the older you get the better.
Women actually live longer than men by about 8 years... they come into their sexual prime later than men... Older women should always have younger men.
since women tend to mature emotionally earlier than men, it's always been accepted that older men prefer younger women... but to be honest it should biologically be the other way around.
My husband is 13 years younger than I am and it's perfect for us.
I say if you love her and she wants you go for it.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (13 October 2012):
 I agree with Lolly completely. My husband is almost 8 years older than me and we never even think about it. If it's that big of a deal to you then there's something else holding you back, 4 years older is nothing. You obviously have some negative thoughts about the age difference that you didn't share with us, all you said were positive aspects, like her maturity. Until you get to the bottom of your issue with her age you shouldn't contact her to date again. You can't ignore your problems here, ignoring doesn't make something go away.
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A
female
reader, Lolly_Poll +, writes (13 October 2012):
You're 21, you aren't a child. I'm 18 and my partner is 12 years older than me. We don't even notice the age difference, it isn't important. If it's that big of a deal to you, then it seems to me that it's you stopping this relationship, not a difference of 4 years. You seem to be quite immature, if you do love her that much, you won't let a difference of four years get in the way.
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