Would you date someone who was missing one of their hands?
Q. My continued dating adventures have recently led me to confront this issue. Would you date someone who was missing one of their hands, and why or why not? I'm interested in all perspectives. ...
A. 24 June 2015: Of course I would, it would just be something specific about their appearance same as having brown eyes for example. Not having a part of the body isn't something that would affect their attractiveness at all. ... (read in full...)
Why are women turned off by inexperienced men?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off ? Why is it that if a guy never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or just been in a relationship before, and sadly ...
A. 30 May 2015: It's definitely not the lack of experience that's turning girls off, but it would be a kind of a red flag to me what's the reason for that lack of experience. It would work for me if this guy wasn't able to connect with a girl emotionally, or had a... (read in full...)
Though I am married, is it wrong to have this kind of non-sexual friendship relationship with this other man?
Q. i am married and have a son aged 10 yrs. My husband and I were best friends in college and eventually discovered love. since we belonged to the same community parents too didnt oppose. but post marriage my mother in law who is a widow and my siste...
A. 6 May 2015: I think you've been through a lot in your marriage, and it's definitely not "wrong" as it would be if things weren't as complicated. It seems like you resent your husband for all those things you mentioned, and don't really love him anymore, or if ... (read in full...)
Should my Mom and I continue to share the same boyfriend?
Q. My mom A fell pregnant at 15 and dropped out of school. She later completed her matric and qualified as a nurse. While my mother was studying my grandparents cared for me. My mother did not neglect me but regretted that she could not give me all ...
A. 6 May 2015: It's an unusual situation, but if it works for all parties involved why not continue enjoying yourselves. The only thing I don't like about everything you wrote is "Last year I met this guy, S and fell in love with him. (...) I was taken aback but ... (read in full...)
My parents struggled. Do I have the right to be resentful towards my parents? Or am I being ungrateful?
Q. I don't want this to come off as me being ungrateful or spoiled but I've always had problems and issues with money. Let me explain a little further. I grew up in poverty and it was that way my entire life. It never bothered me until I became a...
A. 6 May 2015: I'm very drawn right now to say no you don't have the right, and yes you are being ungrateful.
Simply, financial situation is something every one of us is managing the best they possibly can. It's not like someone "could" work harder, make bett... (read in full...)
Every man I've ever been involved with has sought out porn featuring women who look different than me!
Q. Why does every man I'm with seem to prefer the typical porn star look to me . Without fail every man I've ever been involved with has sought out potn Witb womrn who are compeltely different to me , usually young and blonde and thin I'm pretty s...
A. 5 May 2015: Please don't get disheartened about it, I have a few reasons for why you shouldn't:
1 - porn is full of slim blondes, if they're just casual fans of it it's the kind they'll run onto most often
2 - just because they like slim blondes doesn't ... (read in full...)
Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?
Q. At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...
A. 4 May 2015: As others said, it's not just about the age, unwanted attention is simply annoying unless if expressed in a really polite way. If a guy my age acts rudely and pushy I will be annoyed, and more unattractive he is more I'll be disgusted by it. If an... (read in full...)
How to judge this right, do I wait and see what happens?
Q. I work in a small office of about a dozen people. A few weeks ago, a new colleague joined the team - a girl of similar age to me. From the first moment, I knew she was really special. She's beautiful, smart, wonderfully kind, friendly and easy to ...
A. 3 May 2015: I think you're way to smitten with her to be able to be just friends, at least judging by the way you write about her :) I think connections like that are rare, and worth pursuing. I'd say make a move, but don't seem too serious about it. Ask her ... (read in full...)
Have a crush but I don't know if he's gay, what do I do?
Q. ok so i am 13 and i have a major crush on a guy im bi-sexual. i have a girlfriend but i really like him he is so hot but theres a problem, we dont know each other too well and i have 1 period with him in which we are across the room from each other! ...
A. 3 May 2015: Edit: I misread a part of your question as "I HAD a girlfriend" - I'd just like to add it's not ok to be thinking about hooking up with someone else behind her back, even if you are just 13 it's not - consider her feelings as well. If you don't like ... (read in full...)
Have a crush but I don't know if he's gay, what do I do?
Q. ok so i am 13 and i have a major crush on a guy im bi-sexual. i have a girlfriend but i really like him he is so hot but theres a problem, we dont know each other too well and i have 1 period with him in which we are across the room from each other! ...
A. 3 May 2015: I wouldn't risk it, the consequences could be too big, like if he wasn't gay and the whole school would find out about you asking, wouldn't that make your life harder? You're young and there will be plenty of time in life to freely approach guys or ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is 20 and is getting frustrated that I want to wait. (I'm gay and a virgin). Should I ask him about that Phone call? Or allow sex to happen?
Q. Hi, so I'm gay, my boyfriend is 20 and I am eighteen. Anyways, I'm a virgin, but he isn't. Last weekend I told him I was a virgin and wanted to wait on sex, and he was kind and very understanding. Well, a few days ago, I heard him on the phone with ...
A. 3 May 2015: I agree you should never have sex just to please someone, or keep them. He is getting frustrated, ok, but if he's really into you he'll wait, if he isn't he doesn't deserve to be with you... (read in full...)
How do I give him the green light?
Q. Hi lovely people! Please, before you think 'not another girl with an impossible crush on a gym instructor', he's 3 years older than I am, and not the 'typical flirty gym guy'. He doesn't flirt with anyone else. Not just from what I can see, but...
A. 3 May 2015: Would be the best if you could collect enough courage to ask him out, maybe not directly but "to help you buy ____ (insert something workout related)" or something like that xD Help him by finding an excuse to spend some one on one time with him, ... (read in full...)
What can I do about this family situation?
Q. Hi everyone! Hoping you can help with some relative troubles! Just before I start I think it would be relevant to say I have not got a close knit family. My immediate family (me, mum, dad and sis) are very very close and happy and for that reason ...
A. 3 May 2015: It's an awkward situation I can somewhat relate to myself. Maybe pick an excuse for not buying it for her (such as those you already mentioned: no money, no time, size issue) - and stick to it. Repeat it a 100 times if you have to, calmly but ... (read in full...)
Did he blame me unjustly when I was just trying to comfort him and do what seemed right, at the time?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, My boyfriends grandfather whom he was really close to passed away a couple of weeks ago, his grandfather really loved me, and i loved him a lot too. I was really sad hearing about him. He was in the hospital for a couple of ...
A. 3 May 2015: I can totally understand how he was feeling, because when someone dear to us passes away a lot of us have these preconceptions how we should feel and behave, and it can mess with our heads when reality turns out differently than what we were ... (read in full...)
I'm pissed that I told my BF I missed him in a text and he did not bother to reply back!I'm pissed that I told my BF I missed him in a text and he did not bother to reply back!
Q. Why does it bother me so much that I sent my boyfriend a text saying "Have a good night. Miss you." And nothing. No response. No "I miss you too." It was five hours ago. He was out with his family for dinner and texted me to touch base. I texted ...
A. 3 May 2015: If I got it, he said something like "I'm at a dinner, ttyl" and you replied "have a good night, miss you" - it seems to me like your message had the meaning of "ok, catch you later", and he probably felt like there's no need to answer to it. I ... (read in full...)
Do I walk away and not look back?
Q. I was dating a woman for about 7 months. I thought things were great. I'm working on a law degree and I work, so I'm extrely busy. I spent as much time with her as I possibly could. In fact, I spent most of my time with her during the semester, ...
A. 3 May 2015: It seems to me like you don't love her THAT much that you couldn't walk away, and at the same time you resent her for her actions, so maybe walking away is the best possible course of action right now.
It seems to me like she really does feel bad ... (read in full...)
What should I say or do, how can I recover this relationship?
Q. my boyfriend has been busy for the last 2 weeks and didn't have the time to meet me or talk to me ! he was able to see me for 30 minutes only during the last 2 weeks ! i felt that he is ignoring me ! i was so lonely and i felt that i waited t...
A. 3 May 2015: You haven't specified how long is your relationship, how often do you two generally talk to each other etc. but all I can say is I've been reeeeeeeally busy at some periods of life and it could never possibly stop me from sending a short text to ... (read in full...)
Would it be cruel to leave him. Or could it do him some good? I'm terrified of what'll happen if he continues like this.
Q. I'm between a rock and a hard place and I really need some advice. My boyfriend has always smoked weed. At first it was just once or twice a month when he would hang out with a particular friend. I didn't like it but he never did it in front of m...
A. 3 May 2015: It's so sweet and loyal of you that you're taking his point of view into consideration, I can imagine it's not easy to break up with someone who you've been together for so long just like that.
I think it might do him good, as long as you clearly ... (read in full...)
Dating a young guy but I don't see this is going to work out
Q. Hey, I'm living in weird relationship and I can't end it! The fair of being lonely again is stopping me! My partner is someone younger that me in 11 years ! I'm 31 he is 20 The age would not be an issue for me if he was older , as my ex was 1...
A. 2 May 2015: It doesn't seem to me like you love him, honestly, because you wrote down a lot of things you don't respect about him, and none that you do. If it's someone you're ashamed of and have nothing to talk to and nothing in common, what kind of future ... (read in full...)
I'm concered with my husband's parenting style
Q. My husband and I have very different ways of parenting. We are both relatively young and have not been blessed with much patience. We have a 3 year old daughter who is pretty hyper and defiant but I guess thats pretty normal for a child her age. ...
A. 2 May 2015: It's a short story to draw conclusions from, and maybe not a good indicator of the whole picture, but it does seem to me like you are undermining his authority in front of her, which is never a good thing. In the future, if you object to something ... (read in full...)
I'd like to ask her out but I have misgivings of being thought of as a sleazeball!
Q. There's this girl in my honors seminar group at university that I have a sight crush on. While a part of me would like to ask her out so that I might be able to get to know her better, another part of me is reluctant to do so. I really don't want to ...
A. 30 April 2015: I agree with other replies, definitely go for it! :) Also, you seem like a really considerate guy and it's sweet that you're even thinking about this instead of just asking her out like many would do.... (read in full...)
Online dating is making me a nervous wreck!
Q. I joined an online dating site and have gotten a few messages. Most of them are "hi" or "hey", not never interesting in my opinion. But, I came across someone with an awesome profile, seemed just as outgoing as me, VERY attractive, so I said "why ...
A. 30 April 2015: I think it's natural that you're feeling this way, trying out something new, maybe feeling exposed or worried due to your previous expectations of online dating. Anyway, same as with every anxiety, more you do the thing that's making you anxious, ... (read in full...)
Is this verbal abuse? Are we just not right for each other?
Q. I am on the fence about the man I have been in a relationship with for 2 years. I don’t know whether I am wanting to get out of the relationship too soon or if am avoiding the warning signs of what could be verbal abuse. Background Sto...
A. 30 April 2015: It kinda seems to me like your relationship is too toxic for it to change. He may have a personality disorder, and you may be enabling his behaviors in some way. I'm sorry to say that, because I know it's not always easy to start over with someone ... (read in full...)
How can I calm my anxiety at the thought of losing him? Plus I need a guide on dating an introvert, please?
Q. I think i need a guide for dating an introvert... I am a very social, loving and very caring person. When in a relationship i always put the other person first, and always like to keep in contact, and do lots of thinga with them. Yet my boyfr...
A. 30 April 2015: My close friend is an introvert and it makes sense to me what your boyfriend said, that he just needs space and time to himself, that seems to me like a reasonable request coming from someone who is like that. I don't know was he, as the other rep... (read in full...)
A close friend told me that my boyfriend isn't a good guy!
Q. A close friend of mine recently told me that my bf isn't a good guy!he said he s very mean and took his friendship for granted and took advantage of his friendship. he is telling me not to have a relationship with him as he might cheat on me or take ...
A. 30 April 2015: People have more than one face and their behavior depends on the circumstances, who knows what happened between your friend and boyfriend and how did your friend perceive it, how objective is he etc. If it's something several people told you it ... (read in full...)
I found out about his daughter a year into our relationship, and he didn't lend me money for my school fees because he puts her first!
Q. I'm 24yrs and my guy is 29yrs too we have been friends since childhood but he asked me for a relationship as at last year so after one year he told me he had a 10yrs daughter out of wedlock and he said the reason why he refused to tell me such at ...
A. 30 April 2015: I agree with the other answers, his daughter should always come first and it's a fact any of his current of future girlfriends have to deal with, including you.
I question his general honesty considering he didn't tell you he had a child for so l... (read in full...)
Do you think we will work out?
Q. I recently met this guy online. He seems like an honest decent man. We have been talking to each other for only 2-3 days but I think I already have a huge crush on him. Well I think he likes me too; he'd like to say something more about him when I ...
A. 30 April 2015: Don't rush into it emotionally, you seem waaay too invested into a guy you've never even seen in person. Who knows is he what he seems to be, and even if he is who knows will you like all that as much if you meet him. Please take it easy and don't ... (read in full...)
I am crushing on my best friend's boyfriend!
Q. So I'm a terrible person. Today, I couldn't stop thinking about my best friends boyfriend. Today, was the worst day ever because I haven't ever felt so much good and bad. We were all hanging out and ever so slightly we'd periodically look o...
A. 29 April 2015: I think maybe you're drawn to the idea of being with him because it's forbidden, or maybe you and your friend have a sister-like rivalry and it feels good to you that he's starting to show signs of liking you better.
Either way you seem to be a pers... (read in full...)
"scratch my turntable"?? What does that mean?
Q. my and ex and I have been not getting along lately until last night he emailed me after he told me that he was sick of me bragging and then said if i wanted to date others all i want peace..now today he emailed me saying I was right and he wants to ...
A. 2 October 2010: Why not just reply asking him what does it mean? I tried googling it but no luck... (read in full...)
Why is he saying these hateful and hurtful things about me?
Q. Hey all, well this is my problem. My now ex, who I was with for 9 months, suddenly dumped me out of the blue, gave me no reason (not a real reason anyway - something like Im not ready to be committed) - then 2 weeks later has a new girlfriend, is ...
A. 26 September 2010: I can imagine how you're feeling, what you're going through really sounds terrible. My 1st guess would be this is your ex's weird way of getting back at you for something - is there anything you can think of that you did which made him act so angry ... (read in full...)
We all have flaws so how do we learn to accept it?
Q. Im finding it hard to accept the girl in the mirror. Im not the type of girl that has self esteem issues, Im actually a very confident individual. But lately I really hate myself. I'll be honest as much as I like to think Im attractive in m...
A. 23 September 2010: I'd say the only way to love yourself is to accept yourself 1st - ok you're ugly but SO WHAT, you are YOU, your best friend and that one person that you should care about the most, it's all that matters. Try focusing on your positive sides, like ... (read in full...)
My ex best friend told me she didnt want to be my best friend any more and I'm so upset...
Q. My ex best friend told me she didnt want to be my best friend any more. She said i brought stress to her life. I don't know how but she said i did. I cried so much. That was in june. We have 2 classes together this year. She seems so happy and ...
A. 15 September 2010: Same as the other 2 people who answered your question, I can totally relate to what you wrote, in my case my best friend in the world simply stopped returning my calls without even explaining what did I do wrong or giving me a chance - it hurt so ... (read in full...)
What makes a guy shy?
Q. 1. would a shy guy ring a girl and ask her out?? or hes too shy to do that?? 2. what make guys shy??? 3. what if you like a shy guy and you think he likes you too..but hes not making any move?? what should the girl do?? thnx..xx...
A. 15 September 2010: 1. depending on how shy he is, being that it's a big step I'm guessing he's probably too shy to do it
2. who knows what made this particular guy of yours shy but he is so I guess you're gonna have to deal with it and yes
3. I think you should... (read in full...)
I'm tired of inatiating our sex!
Q. I'm 37 and my boyfriend is 10 years younger. I am 6 month pregnant and before I was pregnant and at the beginning we had sex regularly but I had to initiate it every single time. Now we have gotten down to maybe once a month and it lasts usually ...
A. 15 September 2010: Try talking to him about it again, I'd say it's the only way to actually find out is he really a selfish lover with low sex drive or maybe (hopefully) just clueless; do let him now you need to have sex more often and you won't give up before he ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is still on online dating and acts weird
Q. I am 36, a marathon runner (my point is I'm in shape and not fat), and I am told that I am very attractive. I was in a relationship for 14 years, we were separated for 3, and he recently passed away from a heart attack after years of drug abuse. ...
A. 13 September 2010: It seems to me that you're a great person, quite intelligent and considerate to say the least, and I just can't avoid getting an impression that you can do so much better than this guy. You've been together for 4 whole months and didn't even get to ... (read in full...)
Do I have the obligation to look after him in this relationship?
Q. I've married for twenty years. My husband is ten years older than me. Besides finanically supporting the family there isnt much make me feel like to continue this marriage. He never cares when I am not well. Finally I divorced him and found ...
A. 13 September 2010: Of course it's not an obligation of yours, in case you're not feeling up for it don't do it, even if it means breaking up - a wealthy person like him will surely be able to pay someone to help him out anyway.
... (read in full...)
Is this some sort of a game to keep me around?
Q. Hello I am in need of some help , because male behavior confuses me. The fellow I had been dating for almost 3 years had broke up , we recently started dating again not a realtionship but going out on dates . When we go out we have a great tim...
A. 13 September 2010: Just saw the followup, well it does changes things a bit but still I'd say you should do the good old "make him chase you" thing and see how it goes, or at least that's what I'd do...... (read in full...)
I'm 5'6" and she's 6'2", does it matter?
Q. Ok so i'm a guy and im alround 5'6 and im kinda self conscious about my height. me and this girl have been talking for a long time and were kind of a thing but not offically dating. i like her a lot and she likes me a lot and she wants to date. she ...
A. 13 September 2010: There's a girl you like who likes you back so YES, of course you should go for it! How will you get over the fact that you're shorter? You don't, you just accept it the way it is.... Or maybe move to Mexico:P... (read in full...)
I told myself I would never let a man hit me.
Q. I am a 15 year old girl and my boyfriend (also 15 years old) of 8 months hit me Friday for the very first time. He is bipolar and sometimes his mood swings are off the charts and his thought process is irrational at times. I stayed the night with ...
A. 13 September 2010: You got some really great advices on this question and I hope you'll act on them - please don't let yourself stay in an abusive relationship just because you love him, it's just not enough of a reason. Yes it does seem like he was very sorry for ... (read in full...)
Is this some sort of a game to keep me around?
Q. Hello I am in need of some help , because male behavior confuses me. The fellow I had been dating for almost 3 years had broke up , we recently started dating again not a realtionship but going out on dates . When we go out we have a great tim...
A. 13 September 2010: CindyCares might have a point so if you like him, I'd advise you to try the following: no sex for a while, never call him 1st. The idea is that he comes to a situation where he has to be attentive all of the time cause he's not even sure if you care ... (read in full...)
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