A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why does it bother me so much that I sent my boyfriend a text saying "Have a good night. Miss you." And nothing. No response. No "I miss you too." It was five hours ago. He was out with his family for dinner and texted me to touch base. I texted back saying hope he has a good night and I miss him.So now I am very upset that I go no text back since then. Not only that but he did not bother to say "I miss you too." He has me feeling so bad. Like he does not care. Like he cannot be bothered.Don't men know that little things like this can upset women? I mean if a woman says I miss you and a guy does not answer with I miss you too or not answer at all? Can you perhaps see why she would be a little upset at that?What does it take to type Miss u 2 or U2???It can't be an over reaction!What do you guys think?I need to get this in perspective before I blast him tomorrow. I can feel a storm brewing and I want to be level headed about it. But I am SO MAD AT HIM right now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2015): Hello all.Thanks for your input.I have talked to him since. He did not think my text required a response. He was not being insensitive or anything like that.He is just practical in his thinking.I am more lovey dovey.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 May 2015):
 Once I sent a text to my husband in AUGUST. I did not hear back from him as is common as he hates texting. I blew it off.
In NOVEMBER I was standing next to him and he got a text. He opened his phone and it was the text I had sent him IN AUGUST... he was JUST getting it. I never would have believed it if I was not standing there.
Text messages are cheap because the networks do not send them on their own. They get piggybacked on to more important data on the network and may get lost in the air so to speak.
Texting important stuff is NEVER a good idea....
and you are way over reacting.
so have you talked to him since this?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 May 2015):
 Major overreaction. Your message sounded pretty final, like : we are done for tonight- and did not require any reply.
Personally I feel that's also a by- product of the USA overuse of expressions like " Love you " " miss you " etc. A " miss you " here , a " miss you " there , and eventually it gets emptied of any real, emotion-related meaning and becomes something equivalent to : kisses, or see ya, or ttyl. A normal salutation.
Do you mean that anyway it would have been nicer if he had stayed with the authomatic,standard reaction , " miss you "- " miss you too !",- like : Aaaaatchooo !- BLESS YA !! ? Perhaps . But he was out for dinner with his family ; as a matter of fact he was not even supposed to text you to begin with , once he had company. When you are with company, you gave your full attention to those who are PRESENT there . ( Unless it is an emergency of course ).
Calm down and do not blast him ,because he has not done anything wrong ,other than presuming that you can spend a few hours , or a whole night, without hearing from him, like the reasonable independent adult who hopefully you are. He is your bf, not your life support system !
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (4 May 2015):
 The tone of your post sounds a lot like the repeat poster who is worried her married martial arts instructor boyfriend may find himself a second mistress.
IF that is you, he probably didn't text back because he was out with his wife and he didn't want her to get suspicious over interruptions to their evening together.
Either way, it does sound like you are overreacting. You don't feel secure in your relationship, and it's affecting the way you interpret things.
Don't "blast" him about this if he is not yours to blast, because if you ARE a secret in his life this behavior from him is not surprising in the least.
Wishing you the courage to find someone who treats you better.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (3 May 2015):
 You are overreacting! Calm down!
I agree with the previous responses. Your BF might've read that as your response to him and didn't think he needed to reply.
The bigger issue here is your insecurity in the relationship or your BF.
This sometimes will happen in my relationship too. I'm at work, my BF texts me to see how my day is and we exchange a few texts. Then I focus back on work without noticing that he ended the messaging with a 'Muahz' (kiss). The silly guy would wait a minute or two and then text me back 'Hullo, I sent you a Muahz!' I'll laugh and text him back 'Muahz'.
Don't be pissed, especially not at little things like this. Just try another perspective and approach. Everything will be fine! Most importantly, DO NOT think for a minute that just because he didn't text you back 'I Miss You' that he doesn't miss you or love you. NEVER think that!! Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 May 2015):
 Amen to YouWish's advice.
YOU did overreact. I think people have this notion that texting is OH so vital for a relationship, it really isn't.
DO not carry on a relationship via text.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 May 2015):
 AAAaaaaaannnnddd....THIS is why I hate texting.
This isn't about the text. You're feeling insecure about his feelings for you, which shouldn't be put to the test in a TEXT MESSAGE.
I agree with LiveandLearn. Your text was the RESPONSE text, meaning for him to text back would have been redundant.
Also, If you've seen each other in the past 3 days, then "I miss you" might seem a bit clingy, as in "It's been 5 WHOLE HOURS!! OMG! I miss you so much!"
Save meaningful things for in person. If he treats you right in person, then texting is just superficial. Don't blow up your relationship over this.
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A
female
reader, LiveAnnLearn  +, writes (3 May 2015):
 If I got it, he said something like "I'm at a dinner, ttyl" and you replied "have a good night, miss you" - it seems to me like your message had the meaning of "ok, catch you later", and he probably felt like there's no need to answer to it. I likely wouldn't, no matter if I actually missed the person texting me, it would simply seem to me like the end of that text exchange.
I understand that it annoyed you, but see it from his point of view, there wasn't a question or anything to reply to there. Miss you is just a phrase to end a message, like hugs or something, at least some people including myself perceive it that way.
So I'd say no, please don't blast him over something as meaningless as this is ;) It's actions what counts, not written words.
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