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My boyfriend is 20 and is getting frustrated that I want to wait. (I'm gay and a virgin). Should I ask him about that Phone call? Or allow sex to happen?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends, Gay relationships, Sex, Teenage, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 3 May 2015)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi, so I'm gay, my boyfriend is 20 and I am eighteen. Anyways, I'm a virgin, but he isn't. Last weekend I told him I was a virgin and wanted to wait on sex, and he was kind and very understanding. Well, a few days ago, I heard him on the phone with one of his friends saying something along the lines of "Yeah, he says he's not ready, and I'm getting really frustrated and just want to make love to him, y'know?"

I am now debating what to do.

Should I ask him about the phone call? Should I have sex with him?

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A female reader, LiveAnnLearn Serbia +, writes (3 May 2015):

LiveAnnLearn agony auntI agree you should never have sex just to please someone, or keep them. He is getting frustrated, ok, but if he's really into you he'll wait, if he isn't he doesn't deserve to be with you

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2015):

What are you waiting for? How long have you been together?

If you can call him your "boyfriend", you must be committed to each other. You got what you deserved for eavesdropping on his phone conversation. It was none of your business; so you have no right to confront him about it. You said he has been patient. Then zip it up.

Stopping playing the innocent little prude, and make-love to your boyfriend! If you're not ready for sex, then let him go. You don't take on boyfriends, if you're not ready for gay-sex, kiddo! I'm a gay man too!

If you weren't ready, you shouldn't have committed to being in a relationship. You're not a female, and you will not get pregnant. Your virtuous reputation is not in jeopardy. If you're waiting for marriage? Good luck!

Allow no risky behavior, and NEVER HAVE ANAL SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM! NEVER!!! Before my boyfriend and I had sex the first time; we got tested together, and shared the results.

As a gay man, that's a good practice. Know your partner's HIV status before you have sex. That's the only thing you should be waiting for.

Use condoms and you'll be safe. Ask him to be gentle if you're afraid. Keep messing around, and you'll end-up in the friend-zone. He's apparently not a virgin, and he's losing patience. Now you know!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (1 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntShould you jsut have sex with him?

No. You should WAIT til you are GOOD and ready. IF he isn't WILLING to wait, then he isn't for you.

I would say the same to a straight, bisexual,asexual boy/girl too - NEVER have sex out of FEAR of losing your partner. And don't have SEX to please someone.

How long have you two dated?

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (1 May 2015):

YouWish agony auntWhy are you wanting to wait to have sex? You never mentioned that. How long have you been with this guy? How long have you known you were gay, and what has stopped you from sex before him?

Do nothing sexually until you're ready to do so. You might lose the guy, but that's never a reason to have sex.

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