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I am crushing on my best friend's boyfriend!

Tagged as: Cheating, Crushes, Dating, Friends, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 April 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2015)
A female Ireland age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So I'm a terrible person.

Today, I couldn't stop thinking about my best friends boyfriend.

Today, was the worst day ever because I haven't ever felt so much good and bad.

We were all hanging out and ever so slightly we'd periodically look over at each other, smile and look away. I know this is silly but I felt something.

I love my friend and I would never do anything to hurt her no matter how much it would hurt myself.

I'm so afraid that I'll say or do something wrong and hurt her.

I'm not in love with him so is it possible that I could just crave attention or a boyfriend of my own and that's why I'm having these feelings?

He also kept looking at me as he kissed her neck and it wasn't just glances just long stares. What was he trying to do?

I'm so confused and hurt by my own thoughts. I wouldn't ever do anything but I just want some honest thoughts and advice.

View related questions: best friend, crush, period

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A female reader, LiveAnnLearn Serbia +, writes (29 April 2015):

LiveAnnLearn agony auntI think maybe you're drawn to the idea of being with him because it's forbidden, or maybe you and your friend have a sister-like rivalry and it feels good to you that he's starting to show signs of liking you better.

Either way you seem to be a person with integrity, and you know if anything more happened it would be wrong and you would be doing something a bad friend would do.

So DON'T LET anything happen, and maybe it would be for the best if you didn't hang out with him at all anymore.

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A male reader, lawncare United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2015):

lawncare agony auntYou answered the question in the opening line: you're a terrible person.

Of course you're probably not. But you know that if you go through with this, according to your morals, that you will be.

I often find with advice that people are looking for the green light to go through with a situation that they know they shouldn't. This seems no different.

Here is a test. Would you like this person if he were free? Would you like this person if he were attached to someone other than your friend? If so then perhaps there are grounds for the pair of you to talk and explore a potential future.

What I would never endorse is dishonouring your friend. If your heart screams for this boy, and I don't think it does, then try and do your friend as you would be done by. Anything less loses you respect. Whatever you do, if you do anything, you will lose the friend.

If you were my buddy I'd tell you you were an idiot, in the nicest way possible, and get you to come into the city so you can realise that there are 100s of single, available, cool people who won't stare at you whilst kissing someone else.

Try and come correct.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (27 April 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI think you need to NIP this crush in the bud. All this sitting and casting glances, looks and long stares IS not right, and you know it.

You say you would never hurt your friend, but what you are doing.... could lose you a best friend if you KEEP this up. Because YOU are allowing this.

My guess? This BF has found out you like him and he is putting on shows for you to KEEP your attention. But he is being careful enough so his GF (YOUR friend) doesn't see it. TRUST me, she will find this out sooner or later if it continues.

If you can I'd avoid hanging out with the two of them of a little while, just make "I'm so busy with school work" excuses, and when you "have" to hang out with the pair of them either bring a book or simply GET UP and walk away (like go the bathroom or get a glass of water) instead of sitting there making eyes at your BEST friends BF. Avoid eye contact with him, feign being bored.Are you being the 3rd wheel when you hang out or are there more people there then JUST the 3 of you? IF there are more people talk to someone else there and turn your BACK on the BEST friend's BF.

Let's say for a minute that THIS was your BF and BEST friend doing this... HOW would you feel? Not good, right?

You know better, so ACT better.

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