He's ready to break up with his fiancee to be with me but is it the right thing to do?
Q. Hello agony aunts, 7 years ago I was in a relationship with this man whom I met in college. We were so in love however I had to finish my higher education outside the country for 2 years. We were trying patiently to manage the LDR but after I ...
A. 27 December 2019: Hello OP, I think it’s wise that you came here. You know it’s not quite right and that’s for good reason. If he can throw away an engagement for a woman from his past, could you trust him? You also don’t know if you’d be compatible any m... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my friend giving money to a man she met online
Q. I’m concerned about my friend. She met a man online. I think it was on Facebook. They have met 3 times, he lives far from her so she travels to see him. He is unemployed apparently. He does ask her for money. I found out she does give it...
A. 27 December 2019: Hi OP, It’s great that you’re looking out for your friend, but she’s a grown adult and needs to make her own mistakes. We do agree with you that he sounds like he’s just using her, but there isn’t much you can do without her digging her heel... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my cousin but not sure about his feelings for me
Q. I am I love with my 20year old cousin. I am 15. I don’t know what to do. He has a girlfriend but he acts like he likes me : he always teases me and we cuddle and other more intimate things. However I don’t know if he feels the same. I need him he is ...
A. 26 December 2019: Hello OP, Thank you for coming to us with this situation. It is a very dangerous situation to be in. Your cousin is taking advantage of you. His interest in you is illegal because you are at a vulnerable age, even though you feel grown up. He ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappy about having to spend much of Christmas Day alone.
Q. I’m an 18-year old lad and facing the majority of Christmas day alone. I’ve honestly never felt so rotten in my entire life. As well as having Aspergers syndrome I’ve always been shy and introverted, and as such I’ve got no friends in life and have ...
A. 18 December 2019: Hi OP, I'm sorry your family are being quite selfish. I have a few points to make: - being single is not a bad thing - never having had a relationship when you're only 18 is very normal and not at all bad (I was 19 when I met my first boy... (read in full...)
How do I find out if my LDR husband is married to someone else?
Q. Hello I'm Canadian, my husband is African. We met on fb, a friends request. I have been trying to get him to Canada which isn't an easy task. He is even declined on a visitor visa. So I usually go see him in Africa. There has been ...
A. 11 December 2019: Hi OP,
Speak to your lawyer and get divorced. This is a scam. Please don’t send him any more money either.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Does every woman like oral sex?
Q. I was out with some male friends the other night and they all told me every woman they have slept with loved oral sex and had orgasms from it. I just admit I'm not a fan and never feel completely comfortable recieving oral. However I do like the ...
A. 9 December 2019: Hello OP,
I think the chances are that most people (in general) would like the sensations of oral sex when done well by a partner they are very comfortable with and trusting of. However, there will still be many people who do not like it or are i... (read in full...)
I still want to cross dress but am afraid of losing my fiance if I tell her
Q. Should I tell my girlfriend of nearly 8 years, soon to be married that I used to crossdress, and still wishes that I could?. I love my fiance very much, and I don't want to jeopardize my relationship in any way, but every day I wake up and think ...
A. 5 December 2019: Hello,
Thank you for sharing. It’s brave of you to ask for help. It’s understandable that you’re scared of rejection. However, you need to be your true self with whomever you want to marry. That means telling them about your interests: includin... (read in full...)
I really want a baby, is this a stage I am going through?
Q. I turn 18 in a couple months and have been with my boyfriend a little over 2 years. We are neighbors so we have slept with each other but I really want a baby. And I really want to be with him forever. Is this just a stage I am going through?...
A. 4 December 2019: Hi OP,
I haven’t responded to anyone in a while, but this caught my attention and I wanted to commend you on bringing this here to get a dose of reality, in a respectful way. You have made a wise decision and you should be proud of that!
... (read in full...)
I’m now interested in getting to know my co-worker better!
Q. I am a 60ish man who got to know a 30ish young lady at work. At first she seemed attracted and very interested in me. I wasn't too interested but she did spur my attention. I got to know and enjoyed her company. Everything seemed pretty platonic. ...
A. 12 September 2019: Hi there, I believe it is still platonic and it would be wise to remind yourself that she is half your age and unlikely to have been after anything but a nice conversation. I would advise trying to date women 50+ who don't want children and are... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex?
Q. is is normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex because that is how my boyfriend is and I give him lots of sex five times a day every weekend. I feel like his constant pressure is starting to put me off him and sex ...
A. 10 September 2019: Hi there,
"is is normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive" - no. It is not acceptable either.
5 times a week is a lot for most people (perfectly fine, if they both consent), but 5 times a day would make almost anyone sore! He is show... (read in full...)
I love sex but have a phobia about semen
Q. Ok this is probably going to sound weird but here goes... I think I have a phobia of semen. The idea of seeing a man 'finish' just repulses me. I can't deal with the thought of a man finishing inside me either. That's not to say I don't like sex. ...
A. 10 September 2019: Hello,
Yes, I have a couple of friends who feel the same way. Some people can't deal with blood or vomit and others can't deal with semen. Some people say it's immaturity, but it's a valid issue like being very uncomfortable around other bodily f... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my long term partner or leave to travel?
Q. I have been with my partner for 4.5 years. I am 29 and he is 36. Over the summer I spent 4 weeks in Cambodia for a summer job, leading a team of teenagers in voluntary work to help deprived communities. I came home feeling empowered (I had no idea I ...
A. 10 September 2019: Hello there,
I think you have an amazing opportunity in front of you and I believe you would likely regret it if you didn't go for it while you're in the best time of your life to.
I can understand that, at 36, he wants children soon. H... (read in full...)
Do I gain weight to please him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We have a child together. When I was pregnant he told me that I better get the weight off after delivery. He said “fat girls don’t get love”. So I did it. I lost all the baby weight within 11 ...
A. 30 August 2019: Hi there,
I'm sorry, OP, but this is abuse. He is demanding you potentially harm your body to please him. "Lose weight". "Gain weight". It's all about him controlling you and his fears about others being attracted to you. He doesn't love you and ... (read in full...)
Wife lied, she wasn't a virgin. What do you think? What should I do?
Q. Ever since my wife and i met she has always been a very conservative virgin girl, her choice and she was very string that it was important to her. I knew she had a BF before me but she insisted she was a virgin and it was very important to her. This ...
A. 30 August 2019: Hello,
I completely understand your concern about the lying. You do focus a lot on the past - even the possibility of her ex and her was still before you got together. She perhaps lied because she felt you were "too" focused on her "virtue"... (read in full...)
Should I take it further with this friend and how should I do so?
Q. I'm 19 years old and one of my friends is absolutely crazy about me. She's older than me, she 35, but she is hot. Every time she sees me she hugs me about a thousand times and smother me with kisses. Everywhere we go she insists in holding my hand ...
A. 30 August 2019: Hi,
What do you like about her other than the fact she's hot? It seems like you both just want an ego boost.
Is she married? Divorced? Single mother? Does she flirt or hug and kiss on the cheek like friends/motherly?
You're awfully confid... (read in full...)
Never thought there's something I wouldn't want us to talk about but his talk of a dramatic event unsettled me
Q. My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years and we love spending time together and talking about all kinds of stuff, there are no taboos. I have noticed that some friends of mine are so terrified by issues related to global warming. ...
A. 30 August 2019: Hello there,
You have every right to be worried about environmental damage and the future of our planet. There's not a whole lot individuals can do on a grand scale, but there are quite a lot of little things you can get into the habit of doing to... (read in full...)
I want to volunteer but worry abut my dad's opinion and don't know how to research
Q. i want to do some volunteering overseas next year and i know i definitely want to do this but some obstacles that i feel will get in the way is my dads opinions and thoughts on where i should go , how long for and doing what , he doesn't mean to ...
A. 23 August 2019: Hi there,
Speak to the Job Centre or Citizens Advice Bureau to find out about volunteering opportunities and possible funding support. Once you have done that, speaking to your dad may be easier. It’s understandable to sometimes doubt yourself... (read in full...)
Brother's friend might have a crush on me. What should I do?
Q. So basically I think my brother's friend has a crush on me he's two years older than me every time he comes over he starts acting weird around me for instance he avoids eye contact with me and then whenever he gets near me or around me he gets ...
A. 20 August 2019: Hello,
It's unwise to act on this, as it would conflict with his friendship with your brother if you became involved. If you break up, his and your brother's friendship is likely to be hard or impossible to maintain. It also means he'd have to ... (read in full...)
Nervous about returning to abusive husband
Q. When my husband gets jealous he sometimes assaults me and becomes very intimidating and threatening to me and I get very scared. It’s even worse when he’s been drinking alcohol. I have been with him for nearly 8 years and he had jealous rages wi...
A. 20 August 2019: Hi there,
I'm not sure what country you're in, but please find your nearest women's shelter and find help to leave him. Returning to him could lead to you needing to be hospitalised or worse.
Best of Luck.... (read in full...)
I think my parents are treating me unfairly for shoplifting
Q. do you think I desrve to be punished this severely for shoplifting ? 3 days ago I got caught shoplifting,as the shopkeeper knows my mum he called her instead of the police he told her he expected me to be punished, my mum promished the shopkeeper I ...
A. 19 August 2019: Hello Kelly.
I understand that you are bored this summer, like last summer, but this is wasting nice people’s time. We all volunteer for this and aren’t for entertainment.
If you genuinely have shoplifted, do your time and don’t do it agai... (read in full...)
I am worried about my boyfriend's baby mama
Q. Hello i am a young girl of 18 am dating a guy of 22 he has a child which hurt me most at times when i think of it . I truly love him and wish i could spend the rest of my life with him . He love me so much but my problem is his baby mama ,she still ...
A. 9 August 2019: Hi there,
I’m sorry that you’re finding this hard to deal with, but it’s your instincts telling you that this situation is (rightfully) too much for you. His life situation is a hard one for any girlfriend to accept and deal with, let alone on... (read in full...)
I regret my decision to have an abortion and now I want another baby
Q. Hi everyone, So I had an abortion at Christmas. My boyfriend and I were only together for 6 months, we have no money and we live in my flat. At the time it seemed like the sensible decision. However 8 months later, I'm regretting the decisi...
A. 9 August 2019: Hello OP,
This regret seems more like biological clock fears than genuine regret of making what was the right decision for you both at the time. It would have put a lot of strain on your relationship and you would probably have found yourself... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 9 August 2019: Hello OP,
Ask her. I’m afraid we can’t help you any further in this situation unless you change how you are dealing with it.
Best wishes.... (read in full...)
We are uneasy with our son's choice of a wife that we know very little about
Q. My son works abroad and is engaged to his Brazilian girlfriend for a year. They were planning to get married next year. Now he has told us that they tend to marry next month in Brazil without us being there! Both myself and my husband feel ver...
A. 5 August 2019: Hello OP, I'm sorry you're feeling so desperate about this. Perhaps your son needs a stern talking to about his responsibilities while he stays at your house *before* he comes to stay, so he can find other accommodation if he is not happy with t... (read in full...)
Condoms we don't use and message to other women. Is he cheating?
Q. i dont know what to think. i went to my boyfriends truck to get a lighter because he likes to stash all of them in his truck for work. i found a box of condoms that we dont use. i have also found messages in his phone to other females. these ...
A. 4 August 2019: Sorry, OP; I just realised you may have meant a box (brand) that you don’t use, rather than that you don’t use any!... (read in full...)
My b/f found out I texted my ex to make sure he no longer contacted me. My b/f hit me but I want to make things right with him!
Q. Me and my bf were in good relationship but I messed up everything . We loved each other alot . I used to hide things and our relationship become worse than anything. Day before yesterday we decided to forgot the past and started a fresh ...
A. 2 August 2019: Hi there,
Please escape him. Hitting is never okay. He could break your arm or cause a lifelong scar next time. It may get even worse than that one day.
Good luck, OP.... (read in full...)
Condoms we don't use and message to other women. Is he cheating?
Q. i dont know what to think. i went to my boyfriends truck to get a lighter because he likes to stash all of them in his truck for work. i found a box of condoms that we dont use. i have also found messages in his phone to other females. these ...
A. 2 August 2019: Hello OP,
I’ll start with what you won’t want to hear: please use condoms *and* birth control until you’re trying to get pregnant. Not using two is reckless and irresponsible. We have a lady on here who may have herpes because she didn’t use cond... (read in full...)
Weed consumes his whole life
Q. Hi I’ve got a problem hopefully you can help me with my partner is a heavy weed smoker this drives me mad when we first met he had the odd joint now and again fast forward to 6 years later and he spends hundreds on it each month never has any money ...
A. 29 July 2019: Hi there,
I’m sorry you’re facing this, but I think it’s time you assess why you haven’t left yet. You knew he liked weed when you got together, so this shouldn’t be a shock to you - even though it wasn’t this bad back then. It is your money he... (read in full...)
My husband wants us to go to a psychic and I think he's lost his mind.
Q. My husband and I went through some trauma and conflict lately. Well after work last week, he decided to see a psychic. He told me everything they said except the relationship part. I said that he could tell me and it's ok if the psychic said we ...
A. 27 July 2019: Hello OP,
Some people believe in psychics and others don’t. It’s no different to believing in God; there’s no proof of existence, just people who say it’s real - which is why it’s up to each individual to decide how they feel.
If he’s spend... (read in full...)
He said he had been celibate but after we had sex he told me he had herpes.
Q. I'm so afraid right now.Here's a summary of what happened. I recently connected with my ex and we attempted to be intimate but he could not become aroused,he said it was because he was nervous and that he hadn't had sex in 4 years. I found it really ...
A. 26 July 2019: Hello again,
I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but I must stress that trust is not enough when risking STDs and pregnancy! You *must* ALWAYS use condoms *and* birth control. Even if he didn’t have anything wrong, you could have become pregnant... (read in full...)
My husband spends large amounts of money on prayer and food for God. I find this strange
Q. Thanks for your advice My husband does things that I find someone concerning. He is from Africa and he spends large amounts of money on prayer and eats food with God only knows what is in it. When I tell him to pray without giving these peo...
A. 25 July 2019: Hello OP,
To each their own with beliefs - many people do good things for others with or without religion and without much money, whereas other religious leaders are millionaires and still ask for donations.
If it’s his money, leave him to it,... (read in full...)
I'm interested in an older guy, how do I find out if he is married?
Q. for the past two months or so ive been wanting to speak to someone who is older then me , a lot of people who ive spoken to about this have give me mixed opinions . its the first time ive ever wanted to speak to someone older , he is older then me ...
A. 24 July 2019: Hi there,
I wonder if you’ve posted about him before? I feel I have seen a very similar post to this quite recently.
You’ve already tried to tell him you’d like to get to know him better and he didn’t take it any further. You could be more bl... (read in full...)
My husband is abusive, where do I go from here?
Q. I've been agonizing this for a while now. I love my husband more than I've loved any other man, and I see so much good in him, but is he abusive? He's never hit me. I don't think he would ever hit me, but he's really quick to anger. This is really ...
A. 24 July 2019: Hello OP,
I’m sorry you’re hurting. Please speak to trusted family and/or friends to help you leave him as soon as possible, without him knowing. Emotional abuse often develops into physical abuse.
You are very young to be married, so I ca... (read in full...)
My girlfriend constantly complains about her weight but wont do anything about it!
Q. How do I deal with my gf complaining about her weight. I used to pressure her to keep an eye in her weight but she loves eating junk. I gave up about 3-4 years ago as we went from size 10 to 16. She is adamant it’s because it’s certain parts an...
A. 23 July 2019: Hello OP,
I understand your frustration, but your approach is cruel, even if your intentions aren't. Pressuring and warning people does high level damage to an already low self-esteem. Food can be addictive like drugs or alcohol, except you need... (read in full...)
Married to a selfish man but I love him.
Q. How do i stop caring about what my husband thinks of me!? Hes a very selfish person and i think i made a miatake marrying him. I cant leave because i love him but it doesnt feel like he loves me the same...
A. 23 July 2019: Hello,
I am sorry you feel this way. Leaving someone you love is not easy, but I don't believe staying married to him will be conducive to a happy life for you. You could have another 50 years stuck in this unhappy marriage with a selfish man whom... (read in full...)
Fiance won't end things with emotional affair woman
Q. My fiance and I are going through a rough patch. He recently sat me down and told me that there's something he needs to tell me. He told me that for the past three months, he had been texting with a woman from work. He said that although they ...
A. 23 July 2019: Hello OP,
I am sorry you have been confronted with this. I must say that I admire his honesty, if you were unaware of this and he had not been caught, causing him to confess. We can sometimes cross boundaries without realising until later on and i... (read in full...)
Is it ok to have a relationship, but keeping my goals first at the same time?
Q. Hey guys! Despite my usual posts in here, I have a pretty calmed down question/need for advice. I was in a 6 year relationship from 18 to 25. I am now 27 and after a slew of some flings and single dating, I was able to find a really great ...
A. 23 July 2019: Hi there,
I don't believe I've seen any of your past posts, so I don't know if it will have any bearing on this wuestion you have now, but I think it's quite simple:
Your aim to continue putting your goals first is a very wise one. We often le... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he's taking Viagra?
Q. Hello everyone I reconnected with my ex recently and everything has been going great. We haven't been together in about 8 years so its like getting to know him all over again. He is 28. The problem is when we decided to have intercourse the ...
A. 21 July 2019: Hello OP,
I understand that you are confused by this, but I feel that you may not need to be.
Plenty of men have trouble getting erections sometimes - even younger ones. He could get a check up from his doctor, but you shouldn't necess... (read in full...)
Do I continue in my loveless marriage? I reconnected with my ex
Q. I have been married about 21 years. The last 7 have been really bad, it is almost just like sharing a house with a roommate. My last kid will be moving out is September. This opens a new chapter. Do I continue this loveless relationship? ...
A. 20 July 2019: Hello OP,
I understand that you are unhappy in your marriage, but that doesn’t excuse meeting up with an ex and kissing. Your wife doesn’t deserve to be cheated on just because your marriage isn’t a happy one.
Stop talking to or seeing the ex... (read in full...)
I don't understand why men cheat
Q. Why do guys cheat? Is it because the sex is no good with me or is it because hes just a man?...
A. 20 July 2019: Hi OP, I’m sorry you’ve been cheated on. It’s not because of who you are or what you do. Some people, men and women, just cheat. Some do it out of desperation for various reasons, but it’s usually just selfishness. Sometimes we gravitate toward... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 17 July 2019: OP, your wife is not yours to control. Your behaviour is undermining your wife. If you trust her, then her spiritually conversing with this man should not bother you. Men and women can be friends or spend time alone assisting with spiritual matter... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 4 July 2019: Hello OP, I understand your concerns, but you must remember than your wife is not your possession and that means you can't reasonably expect her to follow your demands. If your marriage is going through a rough patch, it would probably help to... (read in full...)
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