A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is probably going to sound weird but here goes...I think I have a phobia of semen. The idea of seeing a man 'finish' just repulses me. I can't deal with the thought of a man finishing inside me either. That's not to say I don't like sex. I love it. I'm 21 and have had two serious relationships with lots of sex. But I always made my exes use condoms every time. I couldn't even watch them take it off afterwards because I knew it would be full of their semen. Is this normal? Obviously if I ever want to have a baby I'll have to get over this one day, but just thinking about it makes me feel ill.Can any other girls identify?Thanks! :)
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male
reader, Boris Grushenko  +, writes (12 September 2019):
 While there is definitely a plus-side to your situation - you're not apt to have unsafe contacts and won't get pregnant unwanted - I suppose it somehow affects your life. For a partner it can be weird if you shy away from semen and - assuming that you'll want a baby some day - nature will demand you at some point you to get into contact with semen.I'm not sure if what you describe can be regarded as a phobia; that would involve feelings of anxiety that might lead to hyperventilation etc.. But I do believe that any kind of discomfort, especially in the bedroom, is worth addressing, especially as you yourself seem to feel a uncomfortable about having this issue: it is the place where a good part of the bonding between you and your partner happens and an obvious disgust with semen might lead to insecurity on both sides.That being said, what should you do? I don't believe this kind of situations is worth analyzing - unless you were the victim of sexual abuse - but you will probably need to visit a psychologist for this. Behaviour therapy is what you are looking for. Behaviour therapy is perfectly fit for adressing anxiety and will get you over this in probably less than 10 sessions. The strategy which is generally used is called systematic desensitization or graduated exposure. What happens is that you will first learn a few coping techniques and then you will be confronted with the object or situation that causes your discomfort. You will be in a safe environment and the stimulus will be selected to give you a certain discomfort without sending you over the roof. Using your preferred coping-mechanism, you will learn that your fear is something you can contain. Stimuli will intensify over the course of your therapy yet your reaction will become less over time.Given the specific nature of your phobia, it might be wise to start your therapy when you're in a relationship and consider to set the step towards sex. I would not recommend a string of one night stands for the sake of having access to semen for your therapy ;-) . A therapist will have an idea of how things should be organized and when is the best timing for this.One last remark: don't give up safe sex unless you're really sure you want to. Your anxiety should not be the only guiding factor in this.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (11 September 2019):
 Nothing we can do here will help. If you want to change this you will need a therapist, a lot of work, and a lot of time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2019): Forget 'normal'. Having a phobia is normal so whatever. But what's important is, is it impacting on your life? Let's be honest, semen is gross so I think it's perfectly reasonable not to want to think about it or look at it too closely. But if it's distressing you then it's a problem isn't it? I think maybe you need to work out what it is exactly that's making you feel this way.
Also using condoms every single time is smart so don't worry about that!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2019): It's not normal of course, otherwise there would be no human race, but its not that uncommon. The NHS has a page on it and there's plenty of discussion on forums.
You will have get a handle on it if you want to have a baby conventionally as you say, and future partners may find it pretty hurtful if you are repulsed by a secretion they produce, not everyone will be able to understand your phobia.
There will be treatment available on the NHS but you will have to be referred by your GP so visit will be required. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2019): Sorry OP, but I am not a lady, but a man. I have a theory, and I know that this may sound crazy too, but I kind of think that oral sex was born, out of a situation like yours. The inventer didn t want to see the ejaculate or the ejaculation, and she didn t want the guy goo up inside her vagina, so the only logical thing to do was down the old hatch! As I say, just a theory though.
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A
female
reader, KeW +, writes (10 September 2019):
 Hello,
Yes, I have a couple of friends who feel the same way. Some people can't deal with blood or vomit and others can't deal with semen. Some people say it's immaturity, but it's a valid issue like being very uncomfortable around other bodily fluids.
You can seek therapy for it, which is wise for any phobia, but it's not "weird" if you always dislike semen near you, even after moving past the phobia. People like and dislike different things - especially sexually - and nobody should be condescending or dismissive of that.
Having men wear condoms is common sense and safety, so it's not something you should dismiss as solely for your phobia. It's an important part of being mature and responsible about sex.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2019): It does sound like a very unusual phobia but I don't think there is any real cure. I suppose in one way it's a good thing because it means you will never be at risk of an unwanted pregnancy because you will always make the guy wear a condom. But at the same time you are right, it may hinder your hopes of starting a family one day.
When the time comes and you want to have a baby I'd just think of it like this; yes it may be unpleasant and make you feel sick knowing you have semen inside your body, but think of the reward at the end of it. You wouldn't even have to have it inside you for long. You could just go straight to the toilet afterwards and 'get rid' of it all and still fall pregnant, so it would only be a minute or two of feeling repulsed.
Think of it a bit like childbirth; it's a scary thought for most women, they know it's not going to be nice, but they go through it because at the end of it they will have a beautiful baby. That is the motivation.
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