'Til Dubai do we part...
Q. I gave birth to my Son a month ago, after a very difficult pregnancy. It was an emergency c-section and our son has been all over the Province in hospitals ever since. Just after he was born, my husband declared that he had been offered a ...
A. 11 May 2012: I see a lot of valid points in your answer. On the other hand, I also worked full time until I was 7 months pregnant and contributed. I've provided ALL of our baby's things so he would not have to, and I have no personal debts. All of our existing ... (read in full...)
'Til Dubai do we part...
Q. I gave birth to my Son a month ago, after a very difficult pregnancy. It was an emergency c-section and our son has been all over the Province in hospitals ever since. Just after he was born, my husband declared that he had been offered a ...
A. 10 May 2012: Sorry for the confusion. I have family in the Province, and in the country, but they live several hours away. I can get to them, but because of finances, I see them very rarely.
If my Husband leaves, I have no family of my own living in the city... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to send flirty messages when one is married and the other involved?
Q. Question I trust my guy of over 16 months but angers me that he send flirty suggestive taggs to one particular woman and she sends them back, she is married. I feel this is sends out the wrong message and when I sat down and talked with him about ...
A. 10 May 2012: I have had this problem with my husband. He tries too hard to be charming and flirts with every woman who will listen. The week we got married, I had to tell a barista at starbucks that she could keep her phone number after she made us coffee, and ... (read in full...)
Partner says he'll give me more sex if I dye my hair!!!
Q. My partner says if I dye my hair blonde, he will give me more sex but I don't want to dye my hair. He watches a fair amount of porn by the way, which I think interferes with our sex life already. But should I leave him or adapt?...
A. 23 April 2010: I would dump him. If he can't accept how you look and has openly told you he'd be more attracted to you if you looked like Porno Barbie, he's a jerk. He's obviously not your ideal either- most guys aren't. What next? Is he going to ask you for ... (read in full...)
Will I look back and regret sleeping with a 46 year old man?
Q. Hi, thanks for your time, I'm 17 and the guy I'm having casual sex with is man who is 46, with the benifit of hindsight will I look back and think what he is doing is wrong? It's just a pattern I've noticed throught life, as I get older I look bac...
A. 23 April 2010: What this guy is doing to you is illegal and called STATUTORY RAPE. It IS wrong, and you ARE being taken advantage of. The guy is fleecing you by making you think it's your idea, but it seems to me you know it isn't ok. If the guy was in his mid ... (read in full...)
I pressed charges against b/f for his behavior, but should I drop them?
Q. I am so confused! Please can someone help me to sort out what I am feeling. Basically, my boyfriend attacked me when he had been drinking so I had him arrested and he is now on bail for 3 weeks, he is getting charged with common assault. But I a...
A. 23 April 2010: Dump him. One time is too much.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend who is says he is?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months and we're pretty serious...We talk everyday and about everything...He is my first real adult relationship and I've fallen in love with him. The problem is that is older than me (I'm 24), my family ...
A. 23 April 2010: There is one solid way to prove his age. Without letting on that you're looking for his birthdate, talk about your license photos sometime. Laugh about how bad yours is, and ask to see his. Unless he's got something to hide, this shouldn't be an ... (read in full...)
I'm sneaking out to meet older men
Q. hey :) well i am 15 and i am 16 in about 2 months! i am you generall type of girl like to shop and go out with my friends. But i have stearted to go out into town and meet older men which is not good as something happened which i deeple regret.I ...
A. 23 April 2010: Honestly, at some point, you're going to have sex whether or not other people think it's right. And, this guy is only two (or so) years older than you.
I would wait until the age of consent, because at your age, it's considered Statutory Rape, an... (read in full...)
Married man having platonic relationship with a married woman?
Q. Is it o.k for married man to have a platonic relationship with a married woman? My husband recently reconnected with a friend whose a girl in high shcool. They've never had any kind of romantic relationship, although my husband had admitted in ...
A. 23 April 2010: I totally understand. I went through something like this last year, only the correspondences I found were totally incriminating, and it nearly tore apart my relationship. Follow your gut, tell your husband that you feel threatened and uncomfortable, ... (read in full...)
I need help to get over on something that never started.
Q. I'm so confuse, I meet this guys a week ago we really like each other the chemistry and the attraction is mutual, finally we decided to meet and talk after work, on my way there my heart was racing a million mile per hour. The dinner was fine we ...
A. 23 April 2010: This is such a bad idea.
His relationship is probably just fine. Women who are attracted to men who are dating someone else always use the "there must be something missing" excuse to justify stealing some other woman's boyfriend. Sorry, hon, but... (read in full...)
Should I be direct? Or not so direct?
Q. When I ask a woman out in the future, should I use plain language or fancy language? Is it best to be direct, and simply say "Do you want to go out with me on a date?" Or can it make things awkward if I am too direct? What is the best way ...
A. 23 April 2010: Direct but casual always works best for me. Maybe the first date shouldn't be so formal- ask her out for coffee or a drink- just for an hour or two, and see if you click. If things go well, just tell her you'd like to go out again sometime, maybe to ... (read in full...)
20 year age gap in a relationship..thoughts?
Q. I'm 21 and he is 44. We have been dating for 3 years. We went to tell my parents together about a year after we first started dating but I got mixed signals from my parents on the subject so I decided to wait until I was 21 to tell them. We'r...
A. 23 April 2010: It took me a long time to reconcile the 12 year difference between myself and my fiancee. Before I could feel okay with it, I had to sit down and think about what I wanted from my life and determine whether or not the age difference was going to ... (read in full...)
She has denied me sex until I pay for it!
Q. Have been in a relationship for four years now with a lady i do love soo much and ready to marry, she is 32 am 27, But she is so controlling, she doe's not like to be forced on doing things she has become miss independent, i lost my job recently and ...
A. 13 February 2010: If you've only been with her for 4 months, you weren't living with her and aren't married, you are not obligated to pay for ANYTHING of hers. "Pull your weight in the relationship"?! That's absurd!
Don't listen. You were being conned by a smooth-t... (read in full...)
Pain after foreplay, sometimes after masturbation, and always during sex.
Q. I am turning to you, Dear Cupid, because I am growing exhausted. I have been having sex for a few years now and have had a few different partners. But I've honestly never enjoyed it like I suspect I should. I feel dry and in pain almost imme...
A. 13 February 2010: I don't use toilet paper, either. I find it abrasive and ineffective. I've been using unscented baby wipes for years (I know- it sounds weird, but it keeps you cleaner than ever, and it's extremely gentle).... (read in full...)
Why is he not physically intimate with me?
Q. I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years. We still did not have sex yet. But we have fooled around a lot.. My problem is that we are doing well in our relationship. But.... when we met on Sunday we made out a lot and were physically ...
A. 13 February 2010: It may simply be that he wants your first time to be special. Even if you feel you are ready, there is a time and a place for everything. It's a big thing for a guy to take your virginity. You're going to remember the who, the when, the what and the ... (read in full...)
What does love really feel like?
Q. I think I may be in Love with someone, but i don't know about it because Years ago I let go of most of my emotions. I think i may like her, i know she likes me, but there is another problem as well. She is only 15 or 16 i think and im not that kind ...
A. 13 February 2010: The age difference isn't terrible, but the time in her life when it might be. She's in her mid-teens, and she will change a lot as a person in the next few years. She needs the time and the space to become whoever she's going to turn out to be ... (read in full...)
What does love really feel like?
Q. I think I may be in Love with someone, but i don't know about it because Years ago I let go of most of my emotions. I think i may like her, i know she likes me, but there is another problem as well. She is only 15 or 16 i think and im not that kind ...
A. 12 February 2010: For the most part, when you really fall in love, you just know. It changes you, intrinsically. Your belief systems change.
I read a quote once, and it was the most accurate description of love I've ever heard:
"Truly falling in love is doing th... (read in full...)
I don't understand religion and why we should be forced to put up with it.
Q. hi, im 14 and an atheist but i respect religious people who are open to another persons point of view, but the other side of that coin is that ignorance and single mindedness makes me really really angry. i just dont understand religion, i mean no ...
A. 12 February 2010: I understand where you're coming from, but I totally disagree. I used to think I was an athiest (someone who rejects the belief that dieties exist) until I realized that I do believe in something. I am an agnostic. I believe bits and pieces from all ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend what happened in bed with his best friend?
Q. What should I do ? , my b/f was out of town at a business function and we had a party down here , It was all good fun , with drink , music and Dance . When I was getting ready for bed I put on my favorite skimpy nighty and jumped in bed , ...
A. 12 February 2010: So you were in lingerie, and you trusted his friend enough to share a bed in a purely platonic situation.
While it kills me to admit that if my husband had done this it would have driven me nuts- nothing happened.
If you find yourself attract... (read in full...)
She has denied me sex until I pay for it!
Q. Have been in a relationship for four years now with a lady i do love soo much and ready to marry, she is 32 am 27, But she is so controlling, she doe's not like to be forced on doing things she has become miss independent, i lost my job recently and ...
A. 12 February 2010: You're dating a woman who is holding you sexually and emotionally hostage AND prostituting herself. I'm fairly certain that's not what you signed on for. Sounds to me like she was only with you for your money- I hate to break it to you. If she ... (read in full...)
Why is he not physically intimate with me?
Q. I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years. We still did not have sex yet. But we have fooled around a lot.. My problem is that we are doing well in our relationship. But.... when we met on Sunday we made out a lot and were physically ...
A. 12 February 2010: I always thought it was strange that girls seem to think that if you do it once, it's a permanent invitation.
Was it his first time? Maybe he's worried he didn't 'rock your world' and needs some encouragement. Maybe he just wasn't in the mood. Ma... (read in full...)
Would it be so bad to get a tattoo reminding me of him, even though this weekend will be the first time we have met up?
Q. I have recently met a younger man (3 years) on a dating website. We have texted and talked on the phone. We are supposed to meet this weekend. To add insult to injury his father passed away this last Monday. I feel a VERY strong connectio...
A. 12 February 2010: Don't do it. Tattoos are not the only way to make souvenirs as a way of making a memory physically tangible.
If this at all goes bad, you'll be stuck with that crappy memory forever.... (read in full...)
Why can't I forget my pig of an ex even though I'm with someone better now?
Q. 2 years ago now my first love walked out on me to be with another girl. We had been together since the age of 16. It was a very troubled break up which was dragged out for around 9 months following the first time he walked out... he was coming back ...
A. 12 February 2010: I feel so echoed in your situation. I met my ex when I was 16, and was with him for 6 years. He cheated on me and kicked me out of my own house while I was in a coma in the hospital so that she could move into our apartment. I lost everything, and ... (read in full...)
I want these feelings for my teacher to go away! Please help me!
Q. i'am in love with my teacher, he is 26 and i'm 14 i know this is wrong, and i dont want to feel this way. but when i see him my heart beats really fast and my face gets really hot, and i feel conscious! i have tried to tell myself that i just admire ...
A. 12 February 2010: First off, I want to take away your anxiety about feeling so wrong about your feelings. If the age difference is what's got you down- that's not what you should feel bad about. My husband and I are 12 years apart.
HOWEVER! Your feelings for your... (read in full...)
I know he loves me but why would he cheat on me and get her pregnant?
Q. I've been dating him for 4 years. His cheated on me with the same person, but each time apologizes and says its over. Now I discover she's pregnant. He wants a child (I cannot have any), so I told him go make one (jokingly) but not with her. Low and ...
A. 12 February 2010: I dated my ex for 6 years. Until my fiance, he was the only man I'd ever slept with. I was sure I was going to spend the rest of my life with him and exhaustively tried to live up to his expectations of me. Despite all of that, despite telling him ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks I intentionally get erect when I see her naked! How can I stop myself?
Q. I always erect when I see my girl naked, I want to stop it. Pliz help! She thinks I do it intentionally....
A. 12 February 2010: You always get erect when you see your girlfriend naked and she doesn't appreciate it? Wow.
I can see from one point of view where if you're physically aroused, she may feel pressured to 'release your tension' when you respond to her, physical... (read in full...)
What do I get him for valentines day?
Q. What do i get my boyfriend for valentines day? Weve been going out for a couple of months and i know hes getting me something quite expensive, iv been thinking about it for ages but im really not sure. can anyone give me some ideas? thanks...
A. 12 February 2010: For some reason (and I don't remember why, I just remember that I, too used to have this problem) a lot of women are still really attached to the idea of exchanging gifts on Valentine's Day. In the years since I graduated, I really have begun to ... (read in full...)
Hi libido verses low libido... help!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a while now.. almost 2 years. Lately he's been very stressed with work and other things.. we manage to have sex maybe 3 times a week, but i initiate this every time. He says he never pleasures himself because ...
A. 12 February 2010: One thing I am in agreement of: I think you're over-equating sex with love and attraction. A lot of young men are egotistical and use sport-sex and scorecards as a way of telling themselves they are studs. I have a lot of guy friends, and that's the ... (read in full...)
Hi libido verses low libido... help!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a while now.. almost 2 years. Lately he's been very stressed with work and other things.. we manage to have sex maybe 3 times a week, but i initiate this every time. He says he never pleasures himself because ...
A. 11 February 2010: I would (of course, when he isn't weighed down by stress) sit down and have an honest conversation. It may be moreso that he doesn't want you to feel pressured, or that in the past he has had to do all of the initiating, and really likes that your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has repeatedly looked up pictures of a girl he knows. Sometimes while looking at porn!
Q. My boyfriend has repeatedly looked up pictures of a girl he knows. Sometimes while looking at porn, other times while not. We broke up over it a year ago, but I just found him doing it again recently. Does this mean he has feelings for her? I know ...
A. 11 February 2010: Unfortunately this occurred in my relationship once, before I was married. My husband was talking to a woman he'd admitted to being in love with once that he hadn't heard from in years.
After months of being paranoid and catching them talking ... (read in full...)
Boil the kettle before you read... I Need a lot of help!
Q. Like the title suggests boil the kettle before you read this as it is going to be a very long story asking for advice. About 3 years ago, I joined the army straight out of school and had met a girl had an ok relationship but to be fair i was quite...
A. 11 February 2010: 2 years ago I got out of a relationship with a guy who
1) Cheated on me
2) Put me in the hospital
3) Continued to cheat on me while I was there
4) Didn't even tell my family I was there, even when my heart stopped
5) Kicked me out before I g... (read in full...)
Now everyone thinks I'm gay and I'm not! Help!
Q. Hi i am blair and i am a 13 year old male. For some reason i had a fanasty of being attracted to a specific player on my hockey team. I dont know why i was attracted to him and i couldnt get the stupid thoughts out of my head. I kept on staring at ...
A. 11 February 2010: I don't want to make you feel bad about yourself, but if it wasn't a dream, and it was a genuine fantasy, you might be wrong.
Now, there are exceptions. If your fantasy wasn't sexual, but more admiration, like your favorite pro sports player, ... (read in full...)
Hi libido verses low libido... help!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a while now.. almost 2 years. Lately he's been very stressed with work and other things.. we manage to have sex maybe 3 times a week, but i initiate this every time. He says he never pleasures himself because ...
A. 11 February 2010: "he's been very stressed with work and other things.. "
Bang on, babe. Really- it's that simple. Things that seem easy to us girls are serious sex-drive killers for men. I doubt that he isn't attracted to you, and I doubt there is anything... (read in full...)
Is this the beginning stages of spousal abuse???
Q. i've been married for almost a month and a half. not very long in my case, ive known my husband for about 5 years. me and him are known to play fight, but sometimes it gets serious and i usually get mad and walk away if that's the case. for examp...
A. 11 February 2010: I agree with everyone who answered. He never had the right to touch you like that. He will NEVER have the right to touch you like that. It is spousal abuse, flat out, and you should leave. Once is too much.... (read in full...)
Is it too late to give her space?
Q. I got mad at my girlfriend and she broke up with me after a year of dating she said she didnt think i trusted her and told me she couldnt take me back so soon and that she needed space. she let me see her after a week and said she still loved me and ...
A. 11 February 2010: I don't think it's too late. Love doesn't just flick off like a switch, if it's real.
Give her some time. At least a week. Then call her and let her know in a short message that you are sorry for not giving her what she asked for, and that you... (read in full...)
My friends and I created a fake Myspace and now I have fallen in love with the guy we were pranking!
Q. I feel sorry because one day my friends and I was playing truth or dare. So, I picked Dare they dared me to make a fake myspace and to post a fake pic. Three days later a lot of people was adding this fake myspace. But there was this one guy that ...
A. 11 February 2010: Okay, first of all, you're infatuated. I'm not saying that internet romances don't happen- my Dad married a woman he met online. But it isn't instantaneous, and I don't believe that the love part is ever genuine until you've actually met.
If he... (read in full...)
How do I relax & just let him please me?
Q. hey, am dating this guy..hes really sweet, Amazing, good looking.. and i love make love with him.. he loves pleasing me..always asking what i like etc: hes soo great:) ok the thing he says he wants to go down me..but i feel nervous cos no gu...
A. 11 February 2010: I can relate. My husband loves to do that for me, and I feel shy a lot. It isn't common (or at least publicly accepted) for guys to love giving oral sex to women. You grow up hearing guys complain and make embarrassing jokes about it, even though ... (read in full...)
My best friend is getting married to my ex-girlfriend! How do I get over this?
Q. My best friend and girlfriend left me? I cheated on her several times. And thought she would never find out but after a while my bf and her started talking and they got very close he realized what a asshole I have been to her he fell in love wit...
A. 11 February 2010: Ouch. I feel for you.
First of all, part of me wants to tell you you're getting what you deserve. You hurt her, and now you're hurting. Karma tends to bite people in the ass when they screw up.
At the same time, did your friend call you on it? ... (read in full...)
He keeps putting a lot of pressure on me, should I date him again or not?
Q. Ok so im a 14 year old girl. this kid i went out with before is 16. he keeps trying to go out with me again. he used to text me to try and get me to send him a pic of me naked and would get mad when i refused. he would tell me im weird and no one ...
A. 11 February 2010: NO. NO NO NO NO NO!
His asking you to send him naked pictures is immature. His getting mad when you won't is immature. His picking on you and making you feel bad for protecting yourself is immature. A guy who puts that kind of pressure on you for ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am cursed being the ugly one in class
Q. hi i am a girl who is 16years old. i am not so goodlooking as others are in my college. i feel disgusted and it irritates a lot when i see goodlooking people around me. girls tease boys with my name. it feels so embarrassing that they use name to ...
A. 11 February 2010: Oh honey. I wish I could do something to make you feel better. I don't know what you look like, but in my lifetime I have seen very few genuinely ugly people. And you know what? Even though they weren't physically attractive, they were really great ... (read in full...)
Pain after foreplay, sometimes after masturbation, and always during sex.
Q. I am turning to you, Dear Cupid, because I am growing exhausted. I have been having sex for a few years now and have had a few different partners. But I've honestly never enjoyed it like I suspect I should. I feel dry and in pain almost imme...
A. 11 February 2010: There are a lot of things that can contribute. All of the suggestions you've had are excellent ones. If they don't work, here's the nitty gritty.
1. You might have vulvodynia. As I have it, it's a lot more common than I ever knew, and if you have... (read in full...)
Boil the kettle before you read... I Need a lot of help!
Q. Like the title suggests boil the kettle before you read this as it is going to be a very long story asking for advice. About 3 years ago, I joined the army straight out of school and had met a girl had an ok relationship but to be fair i was quite...
A. 11 February 2010: This is an easy one for me. I think you need to figure yourself out. I mean, you start off by saying you were with a control freak who had a thumb on all aspects of your life and that she made a fool out of you, and your story then devolves into you ... (read in full...)
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