A
female
age
36-40,
*ightningrod
writes:I am turning to you, Dear Cupid, because I am growing exhausted. I have been having sex for a few years now and have had a few different partners. But I've honestly never enjoyed it like I suspect I should.I feel dry and in pain almost immediately after starting, and the pain never subsides, and I have never been able to orgasm... I feel like a champion if I fight the pain and make it through, to be honest.I can orgasm with clitoral stimulation, both oral sex, and vibrators, but most of the time even that makes me sore, or leaves me with a yeast infection, bacterial infection, and/or a uti every other time.I am practically on a first name basis with my OBGYN.As I have gotten older my problems seem to be getting worse instead of better. I now sometimes even experience problems after heavy petting! I have been to see several doctors... most of which gave me advice such as:a) try more lubricationb) pee after sexc) wash with non-scented soapsd) wear loose clothinge) try cotton pantiesI do all of these things, plus taking yeast AZO pills for prevention everyday, as well as cranberry supplements to ward off the UTI's.I have also had STD tests, which have always come back negative. And even when I am in relationships, I only have sex about once a week because that's all I can stand. Most recently a doctor told me that she suspects I have Vulvodynia, and has put me on some experimental treatments, and urges me to be patient.. she thinks she can help, and stabilize my irritations so that they are at least less frequent.But I am just so lost, its affecting my love life, its so embarrassing, I dread being intimate with a man. What man would want to be with someone who has the problems that I do?I have cravings like a normal woman, even sometimes dream about having great sex...Has anyone ever experienced problems like these?So many thanks in advance :)
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foreplay, oral sex, orgasm, std, vibrator Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (15 February 2010):
 Sorry we can't help, you must go back to your doctor and ask them to refer you to a gynaecologist, you need expert help.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (15 February 2010):
Sorry we can't help, you must go back to your doctor and ask them to refer you to a gynaecologist, you need expert help.
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A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova)  +, writes (13 February 2010):
 I don't use toilet paper, either. I find it abrasive and ineffective. I've been using unscented baby wipes for years (I know- it sounds weird, but it keeps you cleaner than ever, and it's extremely gentle).
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A
female
reader, Lightningrod +, writes (12 February 2010):
Lightningrod is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIve never douched before in my life
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A
female
reader, el Lori +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Douching alot can cause vaginal dryness and destroy the "good" bacteria which can lead to yest infections
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A
female
reader, Lightningrod +, writes (11 February 2010):
Lightningrod is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do remember my doctor asking if I had ever been tested for diabetes, Im not sure that I have however, Ive never had any other symptoms. Ill ask next time I see her.
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A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova) +, writes (11 February 2010):
There are a lot of things that can contribute. All of the suggestions you've had are excellent ones. If they don't work, here's the nitty gritty.
1. You might have vulvodynia. As I have it, it's a lot more common than I ever knew, and if you have it and your doctor is willing to listen and seek treatment- thank God. It's manageable.
2. Get tested for diabetes. I used to have all of these problems also, and feared there was something wrong with me. Turns out that diabetes causes vaginal dryness (hence the pain), reduced libido and chronic yeast infections (although, yeast infections can also be easily caused by forcing intercourse without proper lubrication- especially so if you are diabetic). Treatment easily fixed my problem.
I hope I helped.
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