A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Have been in a relationship for four years now with a lady i do love soo much and ready to marry, she is 32 am 27, But she is so controlling, she doe's not like to be forced on doing things she has become miss independent, i lost my job recently and now always complaining am not meeting her needs like her daughters school fee, paying her bills like i used to do, and now lately she has Denied me Sex and said i will be paying for it that its not for free, i just feel like she's found a man. I need help what should i do now feel i like calling it quit.than you all Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010): Just Broken!!! Thank you all for your concern!!! and wise advice!!!
A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova)  +, writes (13 February 2010):
 If you've only been with her for 4 months, you weren't living with her and aren't married, you are not obligated to pay for ANYTHING of hers. "Pull your weight in the relationship"?! That's absurd!
Don't listen. You were being conned by a smooth-talking manipulator. You'd probably have a better relationship with a hired escort.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (12 February 2010):
Okay I hate to say it, but as a woman, if I was with a man I loved who had taken care of me and was paying my bills... and he lost his job? I would be supportive of him through a difficult time and reassure him that we would get through it together. Any woman who says the sex is not free, you have to pay for it is a major red flag. I have to agree with other aunts and uncles here. Walk away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): Pull his weight in that relationship??????????? Since when is a man supposed to pay all the bills of a woman who he is not even married to? That's just BS.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 No money ,no honey! Your g/f is very cold, calculating and materialistic.
Since you became jobless, you have become a liability to her .
If you still love her,you need to get a job quickly and pull your weight in that relationship.
If you don't love her anymore, just walk away..
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A
female
reader, benudged +, writes (12 February 2010):
Would her having another man really make a difference?
You feel like calling it quits. So what's holding you back?
Not to give advice but run and don't look back! Sex based on money is not a relationship. It's an obligation.
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A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova) +, writes (12 February 2010):
You're dating a woman who is holding you sexually and emotionally hostage AND prostituting herself. I'm fairly certain that's not what you signed on for. Sounds to me like she was only with you for your money- I hate to break it to you. If she really was as independent as you say, she would be insistant on providing for her own life.
Get out, and move on to a woman worth your time, who won't commit highway robbery and con you with sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): She is basically being a prostitute. Not in the traditional sense, but a prostitute none the less. She is using you as a money supply and not a loving partner. Get out of this "relationship" as fast as you can, before she takes you for more money and then finds another source for her support when you can no longer cough up the cash.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): She's using you for the money and nothing else. If she is so independent, why is she not paying her own bills? Like someone else said: she'll find another man with more money and leave you for him in a heartbeat. That is not love. I fear she doesn't have love for you.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Young men ! you are not in to romantic relationship but into business. Run fast from this relationship, if you really want to experience the romance of sex and of love. Be prepare to live alone, then with such relationship..which mistakenly you call it 'relationship'. It is only business deal.
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A
male
reader, Faraday  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Where is the love and passion in this relationship? Demanding that you pay for sex? Prostitutes do that, not loving partners, for whom sex - love making - should be the ultimate expression of their comittment to each other.
It will hurt you, no doubt, as you have feelings for her, but you need to get out of this relationship with great speed.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (12 February 2010):
 She's denying sex based on how much money you can contribute shortly after losing your job? She's paying you sex in exchange for you paying for her daughter's school and her bills. That's not a romantic relationship, it's a business deal. You may even soon find that if you don't have enough money for her, she may leave for a man with more cash and if that happens, honestly, that lay off was the best thing that ever happened to you by showing you what she's really using you for.
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 The fact that she's making you pay for things including sex should be a red flag. If you continue on without any behaviour modification on her part it will only get worse. I highly doubt she is going to completely change. If I were you I'd call it quits.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Hun, this lady sees you as her personal bank - she is using you to settle her bills and pay her way.
I suggest that you forget about this lady and move on with your life.
This lady is only interested in what you can give her in terms of money, she does not love you.
Sorry!!
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