A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i've been married for almost a month and a half. not very long in my case, ive known my husband for about 5 years. me and him are known to play fight, but sometimes it gets serious and i usually get mad and walk away if that's the case. for example last night;we live in a trailer so people outside can most likely hear whats going on, and i was screaming as in playing around cause my friend that was in the room was like your loud, someone might hear you and call the cops. but playing around again i screamed louder and my husband [became serious] chokes me and pins me against the wall and tells me to shut the f*** up.in the back of my mind i want to leave ive always said i wont hesitate to leave... but i keep thinking its my fault, cause i decided to scream louder. that if i leave, my marriage is like a lot of peoples and i dont want that... that i tried to leave once before cause he was being an a-hole, so i asked him you want me to leave he says he dont care and i get up and start packing my bags and he stops me... and says sorry and starts kissing me.... this aint the first case of where he restrains me. i dont know what i should do, i moved here to get married and be with him, my family is in texas all i have here is my best friend who i live with, so i cant pack my bags and stay with her while i get shit situated...i just want to know if this is the beginning stages of abuse?am i provoking him to become this way?is it my fault?should i leave?
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female
reader, Kassi (Nova)  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 I agree with everyone who answered. He never had the right to touch you like that. He will NEVER have the right to touch you like that. It is spousal abuse, flat out, and you should leave. Once is too much.
A
female
reader, gcruz +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Oh honey I think that its only going to get worse from here when he abuses you and you don't take action its giving him the okay to do it again and again just be smart. You're still young the mairrage is not long and I didn't read anywhere that said u had kids with him so get out while you can bc if you end up pregnant by this man you will have a whole nother layer and might become trapped. Just follow your heart and do what's right and SAFE to you
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 February 2010):
No, this wasn't your fault. And yes you should leave. He had no need to choke you and say that. This is the start of abuse, and it will get worse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): I personally feel that this is not your fault. Just because you decided to scream louder, does not give him permission to try and hurt you. He should learn to respect you and even if you annoy him to some extent, he should tell you whats wrong and why he doesnt like it, if he does hit you or something, then it could mean your relationship will get alot worse. I would personally give him some time before leaving him, but if the situation doesnt get better or worsens, then leave him as he could have something wrong with him mentally to make him abusive and if he does become abusive, its only gonna get alot more worse from there. If/when you leave him (this is completely up to you) just know that your going to be loved by someone who is gonna want to protect you from harm and who wont EVER hurt you so dont ever let the issue about who your gonna be with after him influence your desicion to leave him if he becomes a real jerk!
Keep strong honey!! x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): hi the best thing 2 do is tell him u dont want him hurting u and phone the police when he does. if it was me i would leave him and move away from him. u should move bk home where your family are and that way u know u will be safe and far away from him hurting u. dont let him bully u because he is getting what he wants in the end.
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