A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: What should I do ? , my b/f was out of town at a business function and we had a party down here , It was all good fun , with drink , music and Dance . When I was getting ready for bed I put on my favorite skimpy nighty and jumped in bed , 10 minutes later my boyfriends mate came in and asked if he could jump in .. I said " Fine " . But when he put his arm around me I could feel his sizable erection touching my skin ! But instead of moving away , I moved closer , and I was really turned on . We didnt have sex or anything but I just feel so guilty , I dont know what to do ? Should I tell my man ? or shut up because nothing happened ?
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Your following statement record some important meaning.
1.'But feeling his errection poking into my night dress really turned me on ...'
2. 'Its more about the fact that I felt his errection and played on it to keep him hard , I really enjoyed this part and It turned me on'... .
Your question about how much to say to your boy friend? - is not much important, but most important is to named your choice, to named or to give label to your doing.
Without touching moral aspect, I am giving name of your doing...What you did is EROTIC PLAY, with someone...and what you like is erotic play, and what make you confused and guilty is morality of relations.
Yes, of course, what you should learn from this experience is the power of 'EROTIC PLAY'
You can discuss with your boy friend about 'erotic play'...as a principle, and not as your learning, as how you learn?
I think, sexual matter is exclusively private so you can decide on basis of merit...as how much he is capable of grasping principle...and leave particulars. You can develop your style from such experience, which you learn by accident, and like it most.
You are not saying that you are in love with that man...If it was bad experience, you might forget it, but as a experience you feel it as wonderful...you are not saying that that particular man is wonderful...but only experience...
Well...we should and must learn something from anything....best luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question This has now created a few more problems as time has gone on ..he ( the friend ) has told others ( not me directly ) that he has masturbated over me while looking at my picture , I also believe that he has stolen a pair of black lacey g-strings !
I like the idea of him masturbating , while he cant have me , but Im kind of grossed out by the fact he has stolen my g- strings . Im not really very sure what to do ..
I have just seen him around , nothing more has happened ..
Any more advice ?
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A
female
reader, cls1990  +, writes (16 February 2010):
 This could be just me but personally I wouldn't sit on another mans knee or let another man in my bed other than my boyfriend :/ it would feel soo wrong. Yeah a kiss on the cheek & a cuddle to say happy birthday or whatever but moving around to arouse him even more ... That's taking it a bit far. In my eyes anyway. It's nice to feel attractive to other guys I understand that. But what are these guys thinking of you? She's with my mate but plainly loves it when she can feel my boner? Can u imagine them telling your man?! Or bragging about it to other friends?! What if one of them gets the idea you want them, that can lead to situations you don't wanna be in. Or maybe you do
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question I know I keep coming back to it ..But now Im even more confused , I dont like the friend as a boyfriend or anything ..But feeling his errection poking into my night dress really turned me on ...
I just dont know how I can tell my b/f , because how could I express the view about the errection . But Its like at a party one time I sat in this guys lap and he got an errection and I really liked that too , I moved around to make it worse for him .
But naturally I kept these things secret ..because I cant control their penis's Correct ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the answers all , Im still uncertain however , some of you are saying " tell my b/f ..dont mention the detail " ..Its more about the fact that I felt his errection and played on it to keep him hard , I really enjoyed this part and It turned me on .
So I cant really just say " I was in bed after the party with xxxxxxx " ..He would just say okey , but thats not going to help my mindset ..
And what do I say when I see xxxxxx again ? I know Im going to blush and Stammer ..Ohhh , Im just not sure .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): I agree with the other comment that if his friend tells anyone, you might be trying to explain something worse than even what really happened.
If it gets out then the story will quickly grow. Then you'll be trying to convince your BF that you "didn't do anything" during this time when you and his best friend secretly cuddled up in your bed after a party. (And if I was your BF in that situation, I don't think I would believe you.)
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (12 February 2010):
Hmmm this is a tough one. I'm a bit confused as to why you said it was okay for your man's BF to get into bed with you. Did he just want a place to sleep? He got in bed with you and put his arm around you. That's not innocent.
But if nothing happened, then you have to make a choice. You can tell your BF and ease your conscience. But he will likely be quite upset and you will damage his trust in you. You will likely destroy his relationship with his best friend.
In this case I am going to advocate honesty with yourself first. You need to be fair to your guy and take a good look at what happened and why. What were your motives? Are you getting bored of your guy? Are you attracted to his friend? Where you just drunk? If you aren't feeling it for your guy anymore then perhaps you should be fair and move on.
But if you do love your man and this was just a moments drunken weakness -- then I'd say keep it to yourself and renew your vow to be loyal to your guy and never let yourself get into a situation like that again.
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A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova)  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 So you were in lingerie, and you trusted his friend enough to share a bed in a purely platonic situation.
While it kills me to admit that if my husband had done this it would have driven me nuts- nothing happened.
If you find yourself attracted to his friend all the time and you're worried you might cheat- that's another story. But don't torture yourself for being aroused by someone else's attraction to you. It feels nice to be seen that way, even if nothing is going to happen. And let's face it- you're probably pretty hot. Feel flattered by your friend's response, and let it go.
I'm certain your guilt is enough to tell you it won't happen again. No need to hurt your relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): While there was no intercourse or even kissing, what you and your boyfriend's best friend did still is very intimate and may be viewed as cheating. Think about it...how would you feel about the situation if you went away and your boyfriend jumped in bed with your best friend and got a boner in bed with her while she was in a slinky nitie?
I would tell him. It will be way worse if your BF's best friend tells him first, if he tells ANYONE else and it gets to your boyfriend from anyone but you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): You were drunk. You can tell your guy, like you said, if nothing happened then why not just tell him. But the things is, something DID happen. You were snuggling up with another man in bed. Learn to say NO!
I did that once though, at least very similar. I slept over at a guys place after a party, in my underwear, we didn't touch each other, but it was a small bed and we were both in it. Like I said, he didn't try to make a move on me and I didn't touch him, so nothing happened. But I felt bad about it afterwards, thinking that I wouldn't have liked it if my boyfriend at that time slept half naked in the same bed as another half naked girl. So I called my man and told him what I'd done and where I'd been that night. All casual, and to ask him if that was ok or if I should stop those things. He didn't get mad at me, but explained that it wasn't a good thing to do and he'd like it if I didnt do it again. I apologized for my lack of knowledge about good girlfriend behavior, assured him he was the only one for me, and we were all good.
He never brought it up again, it was never a problem, and I never did it again. People have different lines of what they consider cheating and appropriate though. If you are unsure what your boyfriend will think, confess to him since this was a first-time happening, DO NOT MENTION HIS FRIENDS HARD-ON, and say you were stupid and it will never happen again.
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A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (12 February 2010):
Why was it "fine" for your boyfriends best friend to get into bed with you?
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