A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What can I do? I hate hearing about their sex lives and I'm hurt enough!How do I stop thinking about my ex and his new woman?My ex boyfriend was very sexual - sex obsessed I would say. I didn't date him for long as he wanted to move too quick and I wasn't sure about things. So anyway, needless to say he dumped me for a woman who was much more up for it.We blocked each other on phone and social media - but I still hear and see things through mutual friends and photos etc to know they are having a great time in the bedroom and it really hurts as he now doesn't speak to me! I regret not giving in to him quicker (in the bedroom) - but I'm not that way inclined - I take things slow. But I believe he would still be with me now if I had and he wouldn't have gone off with another more willing partner - who basically enjoys to 'sleep around'.How do I get rid of this hurt and jealousy?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2015): i think you need to learn to laugh at this guy and his slapper.They are sending titillating tales out to try to make themselves look big but probably they are too drunk to get around to it.
Swinging on the lampshades all night? I doubt it!
People who are enjoying their sex lives tend to keep quiet about it.
Its generally empty vessles that make the most sounds.
If you keep getting an excess of sex life tales you can rest assured that there is very little going on so i should think the tales of the stud and the slapper are probably overblown and to cap it all they have nothing sensible to say either!
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (10 October 2015):
 Sorry posted before I had finished rambling on....
Keep yourself busy, join a gym or zumba, go to night school, take up a new hobby and everyday, thank your lucky stars your sexual prowess is not being openly discussed.
mmm... wonder if his new flame knows about how he brags...
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl +, writes (10 October 2015):
Hon, consider yourself lucky! If you had given him bedroom action then it would be openly discussed like it is being discussed now about his new flame.
Sorry but in my opinion that guy was NOT a keeper!
Block social media, and refuse to listen if anyone discusses him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2015): OP here.
Thanks for the answers & YouWish - yes you speak a lot of sense.
It is actually his gf bragging more than him although yes they both have big egos about themselves.
I hate people like that - it is the totally opposite of me..
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (10 October 2015):
 Hah! That guy is *so* ego butt hurt. He's trying to hurt you indirectly now that you blocked him from hurting you directly. Do you think it's by accident that you're hearing about...of all things....their sex lives? Please.
You stopped him from using you. You're the lucky one. If he was pressuring you like that and you said no and he broke up, then you dodged a MASSIVE bullet. Even more massive because if he's got such loose lips to blab about having sex with another woman with all of his (and your) buddies, then you avoided some serious migraine-inducing problems.
Seriously, he is immature and disgusting. I don't like guys who talk about sex with their GF's. Like John Mayer blathering on about Jessica Simpson's bedroom habits made me despise his music.
You need to take control of your ego. You are feeling the way you do because you are the "dumpee", and you realized that he was only with you to use you as a sex recepticle. Tell your friends you prefer not to talk about him or hear about him or see pictures. Also - remember - he didn't "dump" you. You rejected his attempts. You weren't tossed aside by him. He just realized that his crap doesn't work on you. And that is a GOOD thing. Choke out the urges to dwell on him like a weed, and it will slowly get better. Soon, all you'll think about him is disdain, like the same way you feel if you have a dog and it had an accident you had to clean up.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (10 October 2015):
 I understand that you are hurting but try see the flip side of things. If you are hearing about their sex life and through others I might add, what does that tell you about him? He is obviously so so full of himself that he feels the need to be bragging about the intimate details that should be respectfully kept between him and her. That cheap exposure could have been you. Doesn't sound very decent to me. I don't think you should be regretting not giving in to him quicker why if he had no concern with wanting to be a bit patient.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2015): Make yourself busy. do exercise. Jogging or running produce happy hormones and positive views, it will help you move on. Cry all your pain, after that encourage yourself that you are beautiful because you are the child of God-you are his princess and you deserve the best. And Run as if your leaving it behind and moving forward for much greater to come.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 October 2015):
 Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it, every time an unwanted thought about them floats through your mind. Ask your friends to spare you the details of anything he's up to. Have a ritual flushing of him from your life. Take everything he'd ever given you and put it in a box. Burn it in a firepit or fireplace if it's all flammable.
Write a long letter to him laying it all out, all your hurt and bad feelings. Seal it up and put it on the fire too. Imagine as it burns that all your hurt and jealousy are going up in flames too.
Keep busy with other friends. Practice mindfulness. Become the witness to the negative thoughts and begin to become aware that the thoughts aren't you, they are just some internal narrator making stuff up for drama's sake.
If you are still suffering from severe hurt and jealousy for longer than you dated him, it's time to seek some professional help. Ask your doctor for a referral for counseling.
And every day, every single day, practice being grateful for all the good things, all the blessings in your life. Learn to meditate and allow the bad feelings to wash through you, and smile when they exit, which they will do, if you let them go.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 October 2015):
 Tell your friends to not bring him up and not show you pictures?
Hide his feeds if you see those on mutual friend's time line.
And why have regrets about sticking to what YOU felt was right? and that was to wait? He obviously wasn't THAT into you if he jumped ship the moment he didn't get laid.
If you had had sex with him, there is no guarantee that you would now be his GF and have all this sex with him.
Let him go. There are other guys out there who might be a WAY better fit for you.
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