A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I have a question in regards to relationship reconciliation.I was recently put on break with someone I really do love and cherish. This girl, who will be referred to as Jane, told me that it hurt her to know I was hurt. Now, a mutual friend of ours told me that it means she still cares about me, and there is a romantic meaning behind that phrase that Jane said.All in all, is there hope of reconciliation, or is she just trying to soften the blow? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2015): I hope it's not too late to reconcile.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2015): Well, she said something about my acting like some sort of servant. When she offered to be friends, I declined, as I wanted to show her I wanted to be clear with my relationship expectations. (Romantic, as Platonic is NOT acceptable between me and her.).
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (9 October 2015):
 "You're too accomodating"? That's very vague... I'm sorry that either sounds like an excuse to suggest the spark has died, that her feelings have changed, or hinting about deeper issues in the relationship- like the last poster said, taking her for lunch is a BRILLIANT idea- with someone you care about, emotions should always be laid open on the table, and just make it clear you want her to do the same... you'll know where you stand, what some of the issues are that are causing your pain. She should agree to this and care enough to give you the truth, otherwise she's not so sensitive and caring as you thought... it's only kind to put someone out of their misery, eitherway.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (9 October 2015):
 Ok now that you have said that it could be that she is just softening the blow. No doubt she likes you, thinks you are a nice guy but an overly accommodating person can be just as frustrating as one who won't budge for anything. My guess is she is being true when she says she is hurt to know that you are hurt but thats because you are a nice person, just not the right person for her. If you are serious about this girl, then have a think about her comments a decide if you are able to change your behaviour or think about why you felt the need too. If you are still confused perhaps let her know that you have been thinking about what she said and could she give you some insight. From there, if she is willing to discuss it further, you can re access the relationship. With a bit of explanation from her and a bit from you perhaps reconciliation could be on the cards- who knows until you try.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2015): I'm the Original Poster. The break has been called, as she had a lot of things that were happening. And, during the same conversation, I told her my relationship goals, and what I declined to accept. I did that, because, she made a comment that I was too damn accommodating to her, and she didn't like that.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (9 October 2015):
Maybe, but without more information its a little hard to say. What where her reasons for wanting to take the break?
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (8 October 2015):
Caring for someone's feelings and being in love with them are two diffident things .
Here my opinion .. ask to take her for lunch: express that you just wish to clear the air so two of you are on the same page. Say whatever her decision at this lunch you will respect .. ( and men this) then after you have eaten speak about how you feel .. let her know that you wish to be together if she doesn't it's best knowing now than wondering and thinking about it and also you two could remain friends ..
Take care chin up
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (8 October 2015):
Well, very few women actually like hurting people- I really think you can't read much into this comment. She cares but if shes just called a break, it's for a reason... I mean feelings dont die overnight, but why has she called for a break? What did she say her reasons were?
It is the sort of thing caring people say anyway, hurting others is particularly hard for them...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2015): It could juzt as easily mean that she is hurt that you havent moved on emotionally yet. If it was all going to kick off again she'd be round yours trying to fix up things with a reconciliation. I think many people have felt hurt by emotional things that backfire but one day they get up and dust down the cobwebs and get out there again socially. Meanwhile you should plan something new for yourself so that you dont feel like dead stock. Cooking a meal for friends is a fairly good option to ease back into the social scene because your guests generally return the favour and your nights in become increasingly appealing. Followed by a film and a couple of friends stopping over so you can drink and play cards till you drop. Then a social breakfast the next day. Plus washing up. She might miss the thought of your dinner parties even if is only pizza and beers ordered in.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2015): It could juzt as easily mean that she is hurt that you havent moved on emotionally yet.If it was all going to kick off again she'd be round yours trying to fix up things with a reconciliation.I think many people have felt hurt by emotional things that backfire but one day they get up and dust down the cobwebs and get out there again socially.Meanwhile you should plan something new for yourself so that you dont feel like dead stock.Cooking a meal fir friends is a fairly good option to ease back into the social scene because your guests generally return the favour and your nights in become increasingly appealing.Followed by a film and a couple of friends stopping over so you can drink and play cards till you drop.Then a social breakfast the next day.Plus washing up.She might miss the thought of your dinner parties even if its only pizza and beers ordered in.
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