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I stumbled across this website. I am not sure how to be honest, but I am here now. I am still living life and if what I have lived through can help others I may be inclined to offer my two pennies.
I am an American Expat living in Europe. I would like to think of myself as a rational free thinker or Pearlist (Physical Evidence and Reasoned Logic) and happen not believe in any form of a god/goddess. I hope I can help and do good for this community as it seems a very good outlet for people.
HonningKanin |
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Should I have a baby at 24?
Q. I'm about to completely change my life and I need some advice from people in a similar situation. I am 23 and have been with my partner for 3 years and we've been living together for the past 2.5 years. Our relationship is strong and we have great ...
A. 29 December 2009: Um, she does wanna get married. She is just saving up the money for the lavish and expensive wedding she wants. She just doesn't want to put her plans of starting a family on hold due to the minor technicality that she doesn't have a peice of paper ... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby at 24?
Q. I'm about to completely change my life and I need some advice from people in a similar situation. I am 23 and have been with my partner for 3 years and we've been living together for the past 2.5 years. Our relationship is strong and we have great ...
A. 28 December 2009: My husband and I just went to the courthouse and had a bbq with out friends and family aftarwards. I think i spent like $600 tops on the whole affair. My "honeymoon night" was spent camping with my husband and honestly I wouldn't have had it any ... (read in full...)
I can't have her I want her and yet I've never met her
Q. I dont know how to approch this and i dont expect an answer but here goes... So names Edi(alias) and i met a girl on the internet. well, met on an online game. at first it was just commradery, then friendship. we talked a lot, about life, frie...
A. 28 December 2009: Its interesting and lovely to see people meeting on internet games is becoming more and more common. Honestly I think its better than putting yourself on a date site because atleast the game the both of you are playing is a common interest. It would ... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby at 24?
Q. I'm about to completely change my life and I need some advice from people in a similar situation. I am 23 and have been with my partner for 3 years and we've been living together for the past 2.5 years. Our relationship is strong and we have great ...
A. 28 December 2009: Man I am so sleepy this morning.
Sorry! I spelt Rhythmandblues2 wrong twice!
::considers morning coffee::... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby at 24?
Q. I'm about to completely change my life and I need some advice from people in a similar situation. I am 23 and have been with my partner for 3 years and we've been living together for the past 2.5 years. Our relationship is strong and we have great ...
A. 27 December 2009: Oh dear, you are hearing your inner biological clock screaming at you. Alot of women go through this type of phase, where completely out of the blue, you become unbelievably broody. I went through a horrible bout of this when I was 18 and still ... (read in full...)
I've had genital warts, what do I say if she says she's on the pill?
Q. i want to have sex with someone but i have had genital warts before. its advised that i should wear a condom all the time, but what if she says 'im on the pill its fine you dont have to wear one?' i dont want to tell her ive had the warts before. ...
A. 23 December 2009: Firstly, Yes you can pass the virus to her orally which can inturn be passed onto you if you kiss her. Herpies of the mouth is otherwise known as a cold sore.
Secondly, You can always tell her "its better to be safe than sorry." She may take it ... (read in full...)
The love of my life is 24 years younger than me, but age is only a number.
Q. Hi, I am 41 and have had only a few relationships. I met an absolutely beautiful girl about 3 years ago, she is autistic, yet only on a small level. I connected with her immediately, which is unusual for an autistic person to do. I looked on the net ...
A. 22 December 2009: I really hope you get nothing but support for this. I would pretty much hate to see anyone bad mouthing you because you fell inlove with someone who is very young. If you can wait, and there are people who do, there is absolutlely nothing wrong with ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my V-card to my cousin?
Q. the thing is is that i want to have sex ( lose my viginity to ) with my older cousin. he is only older than me by 2 years and we are very close. he shows me love and we kiss and he fingers me and once got close to having sex. i love my cousin ...
A. 21 December 2009: Hmm, wow people seem not to realise how common first cousin marriages and couplings are.
Just to name two people off the top of my head who married their cousins was Charles Darwin and Albert Einstien. Charles Darwin had Emma Wedgwood had 10 child... (read in full...)
Do women tell half-truths to spare your feelings?
Q. As a man, it's hard for me to understand how a woman can be attracted and get very close emotionally when I'm not available, then, when I become available, say her attraction comes and goes and we both need to work through our particular issues but ...
A. 21 December 2009: "I'm just not interested sexually anymore, but you make me feel good when I'm down, so I'd like you to be my friend." Thats called being blunt and having no tact and if she were to actually say this to you, you probably would have a different ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get pregnant if he hasn't penetrated me fully?
Q. Hi is it possible to get pregnant without properly having sex? Like can i get pregnant if he is just rubbin his penis up and down the inside of my vagina but not actually going right in? ...
A. 16 December 2009: Person12345, he doesn't even need to ejaculate. Pre-cum can always get you.
HonningKanin... (read in full...)
Why are Western men so infatuated with the idea of being with an Asian female?
Q. Why are Western men so infatuated with the idea of being with an Asian female and why do you rarely see Asian men with foreign women?...
A. 10 December 2009: My brother in law is Asian. My sister is hispanic.
However I will say Asian women are very attractive. They tend to be very slim, petite and have those trade mark eyes. Asian women also have an alure of mystery and exotic culture that some men... (read in full...)
Should I sign my christmas card to my boyfriend with "love from"? We havent said "I love you" to each other yet!
Q. This probably sounds like a silly question but should I sign my christmas card to my bf 'love from...' or leave the love part out? The thing is we have been together in a relationship for 7 months now and havent said "I love you", so im not sure ...
A. 10 December 2009: Well if you do love him it could be a nice warm way to surpise him.
If you arent inlove yet, I would reccommend "with affection" or "yours truly." "Yours Sincerely" may be too formal. However one thing over all strikes me as an easy option. ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to be honest during relationship counselling because I don't want to hurt her feelings!
Q. I'm in relationship counselling with my girlfriend. We've been to one session. The counsellor is using the Imago method. My girlfriend has very low self-esteem and I think it's partly because I have problems communicating and I often say the wr...
A. 8 December 2009: If you are not honest in the counseling session, then its pointless to be going. The reason why she asked you those questions is so you can give that very rational. For every emotion you feel there is a reason.
It hurts your relationship and her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went out with the guys, now I can't contact him
Q. My boyriend told me he was going to a casino with two of his guyfriends tonight and that they were gonna sleep at a hotel. I called him a couple times tonight and he didn't answer. I sent him a text and he didn't answer, and now i after a couple ...
A. 7 December 2009: To whom ever sent me the following email, it would have been nice if you had left an account to reply to.
Title: your crazy!!! respect yourself honey
MSG: your husband is cheating on you like crazy!!! He must be so glad to have a wife like yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went out with the guys, now I can't contact him
Q. My boyriend told me he was going to a casino with two of his guyfriends tonight and that they were gonna sleep at a hotel. I called him a couple times tonight and he didn't answer. I sent him a text and he didn't answer, and now i after a couple ...
A. 7 December 2009: Um OP I have no issue letting my husband go to a strip club with his friends. I also had no issue letting my husband go on an all boys trip to Amsterdam knowing fully where their hotel was seated right in the red light district where he and I had ... (read in full...)
He's my world... so why can't I say these 3 special words to him...?
Q. i can't say i love him and i can't say i don't. let me explain. i'm so paranoid.i worry about things i shouldn't be worrying about and i overthink things. this has been going on for exactly a year and i'm worried and i'm loosing sleep and ug...
A. 5 December 2009: Note when i speak of my own passion, I am talking about my husband. :D... (read in full...)
He's my world... so why can't I say these 3 special words to him...?
Q. i can't say i love him and i can't say i don't. let me explain. i'm so paranoid.i worry about things i shouldn't be worrying about and i overthink things. this has been going on for exactly a year and i'm worried and i'm loosing sleep and ug...
A. 5 December 2009: I think you are overthinking this. You pretty much are inlove with him and I think I understand overall what it is you are trying to get at.
"I Love you" is such an easy thing to say. Its easy and sometimes it can be said with no actual sentimen... (read in full...)
My real life version of "Bend It Like Beckham!"
Q. Okay, any of you guys watched bend it like beckham? well my situations sort of like that (apart from the football) im an indian girl and i do what i want, only rule is dont fall for anyone who isnt indian! well i have broken this rule, i have ...
A. 5 December 2009: Who exactly is living your life? You or your family?
Knowing that the Idian culture is very family orientated and can go so far as disowning children if they disobey their parents, you need to make a choice. Sure this guy might not be "the one... (read in full...)
Are relationships just about love or is there more to it?
Q. My ex and I broke up about six months ago, but all the feelings are still there. Lately he and I have been talking about getting back together, but I told him I wanted to wait to meet up in person and see where things stand (I'm at school 800 miles ...
A. 3 December 2009: Someone recently descirbed to me how they viewed relationships. Like a house.
You have a foundation based on trust, one sturdy wall is love, one sturdy wall is communication, one sturdy wall is honesty,and the last wall commitment. The roof is ... (read in full...)
I lied to my girlfriend...
Q. I met a girl at work about 6 months ago and my friend told her i was in the military cause she liked military guys.... we didnt start hanging out or talking till 3 months after that and like an idiot i kept up with the lie. we started dating and ...
A. 3 December 2009: Well when people lie they cheat people of the truth. I doubt however that philosophy is what yu ment. If she thinks you were off with another woman and you know its not true, you just have to tell her.
If you have apologised for the lieing a... (read in full...)
Is masturbating a bad thing?
Q. is masterbating a bad thing? im a 15 year old guy and i dont know if its a health issue if i masterbate a lot?...
A. 3 December 2009: Oh DoubleM :)
When I was 15 it was 3 to 4 times a day. It still can be from time to time maybe more if the husband is away on a trip. Haha.
HonningKanin... (read in full...)
Husband has a fetish with my soiled panties!
Q. We've been married 11 years, together 14 years. A few months ago, I discovered by accident that he's been stealing my soiled panties and keeping them in his home office. I just happened to go into his desk to look for the car keys to move one...
A. 3 December 2009: I think fatherly advice hit it on the head perfectly when he said "Normal is a word I don't like to use when talking about sex because there is such a wide spectrum of interests, levels of involvement, etc., etc.."
I think you might be getting ... (read in full...)
Husband has a fetish with my soiled panties!
Q. We've been married 11 years, together 14 years. A few months ago, I discovered by accident that he's been stealing my soiled panties and keeping them in his home office. I just happened to go into his desk to look for the car keys to move one...
A. 2 December 2009: This man obviously loves you. You know we are animals and smells play a very big part in relationships. My husband pretty much does this too. I am just glad they are my underwear. I also have a hard time feeling violated by it seeing as he eats me ... (read in full...)
He saw a photo taken before we met and flipped!
Q. im one of those troubled by a recent broken relationship after about 1.5 yrs and i dont know what to do. it was VERY suprising and sudden for both of us, he saw a pic of me before we met with some guys and he flipped and left. he wanted to be ...
A. 2 December 2009: The best thing to do is keep your distance. The last thing he will want is you trying to persue him(it is actually seen as desperate and a bit of a turn off). Especially seeing as you stated you got "too clingy." I dont know if you thought you were ... (read in full...)
Why am I overreacting so much about all of this?
Q. okayyy, i've been with my boyfriend for 6 months. we get on amazing but his ex issues seriously bother me. she tried breaking us up until she got a bf of her own a couple of months ago, but im still majorly iunsecure. Everything was great until i ...
A. 2 December 2009: Well you know also he should be allowed momentos of past relationships too. He could have honestly forgotten and it you found them or he was sneaky and hid them. Honestly though, why would you assume the latter?
Even if he did want to keep the... (read in full...)
Why am I overreacting so much about all of this?
Q. okayyy, i've been with my boyfriend for 6 months. we get on amazing but his ex issues seriously bother me. she tried breaking us up until she got a bf of her own a couple of months ago, but im still majorly iunsecure. Everything was great until i ...
A. 2 December 2009: Well you have to come to terms with the fact that he has a past. Sure there will be stuff that reminds you that you were not his first, but honestly who cares? He is with you right now and him sticking with you through the ex trying to break you up ... (read in full...)
I lied to my girlfriend...
Q. I met a girl at work about 6 months ago and my friend told her i was in the military cause she liked military guys.... we didnt start hanging out or talking till 3 months after that and like an idiot i kept up with the lie. we started dating and ...
A. 2 December 2009: Newsflash hun, Lieing for personal gain is called being selfish. You lied to impress her so she would be interested in you. Thats a personal gain. Lieing so she doesn't leave you is another. You didn't lie to protect her you did it to protect ... (read in full...)
He saw a photo taken before we met and flipped!
Q. im one of those troubled by a recent broken relationship after about 1.5 yrs and i dont know what to do. it was VERY suprising and sudden for both of us, he saw a pic of me before we met with some guys and he flipped and left. he wanted to be ...
A. 2 December 2009: I still say it doesn't matter whether it was innocent or not. You dont need forgiveness for something you did before he came on the seen. If he cant live with your past then quite frankly he is rejecting you. You and your past come as a pair. You ... (read in full...)
Is she overweight, and how do I handle this?
Q. Okay, well my niece is 12 years old and keeps asking me if she is overweight. I tell her that it is going to be alright and she isn't. She is about 120 lbs and hasn't had her period yet. Is she overweight? I don't know because when I was 12 I ...
A. 2 December 2009: BMI doesn't take into account muscle mass or bone density, it works solely on body weight and height which can be wrong. A body builder will be considered overweight even though there isn't an ounce of fat on them.
What you want to do is measure ... (read in full...)
Is masturbating a bad thing?
Q. is masterbating a bad thing? im a 15 year old guy and i dont know if its a health issue if i masterbate a lot?...
A. 2 December 2009: Masterbating is not a bad thing. Its a very natrual and healthy activity. But like anything in this world, too much of one thing can be bad. By that I mean if it start to take control of your life and you replace that instead of getting a partner or ... (read in full...)
He saw a photo taken before we met and flipped!
Q. im one of those troubled by a recent broken relationship after about 1.5 yrs and i dont know what to do. it was VERY suprising and sudden for both of us, he saw a pic of me before we met with some guys and he flipped and left. he wanted to be ...
A. 2 December 2009: I wouldn't even care if the position was compromising. The picture was simply taken before you and he were ever together. Plain and simple as that. If he cannot handle you having a past and or life before him than he is essentially saying he doesn't ... (read in full...)
I would rather be single than be cheated on...
Q. I have been married for 10 years and we have 4 kids and one on the way. My husband for the most part is a wonderful man and a wonderful father. My problem is that he has a great fascination with online porn and I keep finding he's putting his ...
A. 1 December 2009: Well you have made you position abundantly clear. If he is unwilling to correct his behaviour to suit your sentiments that he is cheating on you by putting up profiles and watching porn, well follow through with your threat.
Porn, personal... (read in full...)
Houston, I think I have a "space" problem
Q. what does it mean when my wife says 'i need my own space'?...
A. 30 November 2009: Guys, we cant assume anything by what has been said alone.
It could mean something as simple as she would like a room where she can do whatever she wants in it(Privacy) to she is leaving him because she is unhappy in the relationship.
There i... (read in full...)
Should I tell my sister in law that I'm in love with her?
Q. I'm in love with my sister in law. My wife's sister. I think about her all the time. I'm just concerned about taking it too far. I am married with a boy and a girl. She is married with 3 girls. We are both in our late 30's but she is a couple of ...
A. 30 November 2009: You know I would re-read what you wrote frankly.
"I'm just concerned about taking it too far."
Come on now. Telling her you love her is not taking things too far? Even if it is true and you do love her by telling her this you will take it pas... (read in full...)
Houston, I think I have a "space" problem
Q. what does it mean when my wife says 'i need my own space'?...
A. 29 November 2009: A number of things without background information.
HonningKanin... (read in full...)
Christmas gift for the boyfriend?
Q. I'm having a difficult time deciding what to get my boyfriend for christmas ,, any suggestions??? Thanks x ...
A. 24 November 2009: I already bought the hubby his present. I dont wanna say what it is cause he reads this site with me lol, but I can say it is something he can use.
My advise is to take notice of your partners hobbies, intrests or trade. If he is a carpente... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a 20 year history of being a serial cheater. Will marriage change him?
Q. Boyfriend has 20 year history of serial cheater. Will marriage change him? Will he change his cheating ways if we get married? Hi, I am 32 and with a man who is turning 40 soon. We have been together for a year and a couple of months. On ave...
A. 24 November 2009: I really doubt you are this naive. I think you know full rightly the answer is NO he will not change. you are just "delaying" and trying to change his lifestyle.
The answer for "Why has he never settled down with a girl" is because he simple n... (read in full...)
How to live with a vicious miscarriage of justice?
Q. The world has changed completely. My nation, Ireland, has tonight been illegally denied a place in next summer's football World Cup by an unbelievably blatant handball offence which was stunningly overlooked by the referee and officials. The offe...
A. 19 November 2009: I am just going to say this.
You live with this sort of injustice everyday for things that are far more important than football. Open a news paper and just read about the human rights violations in most third world countries. Where are your pas... (read in full...)
He gave me a back hander across the face when I mouthed off as he was yelling at me!
Q. Hi aunts. I have a real problem here. I'm just not sure what to do any more. Me and my boyfriend have been arguing a lot lately but last night it escalated and he backhanded me across the face because I mouthed off to him while he was yelling at me. ...
A. 17 November 2009: Can you please think about this? His excuse is because you back talked. This means he doesn't want you defendind yourself and his easiest solution to you back talking was to hit you.
Leave.
If he can do this once he can easily do it again, esp... (read in full...)
Married woman about to cheat with another woman, hubby doesn't know
Q. I have always been bi-sexual, but preferred men. I met my husband 6 years ago and it has been truly great, however he started a new career and is very involved in it, I am so happy for this new step in his life, although he does come home everyday ...
A. 12 November 2009: "eatin aint cheatin"? What looney tune gave you that motto?
Would you like it if you husband just ate out a girl or even in your position, lets say he was buy, and just gave head to guys. I am guessing by the way you phrase "(I have to fend off... (read in full...)
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