A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i can't say i love him and i can't say i don't.let me explain.i'm so paranoid.i worry about things i shouldn't be worrying about and i overthink things.this has been going on for exactly a year and i'm worried and i'm loosing sleep and ugh.i have a wonderful boyfriend.hes my best friend,my world and hes my future.i don't want to be with anyone but him.the way he makes me feel when i'm in his arms, i feel safe and i don't want to be anywhere else but there. the way i can be myself around him, is amazing. hes the only one i want in my life. everything about him is amazing. he listens, he knows ME. when i look into his eyes, i see my future and i see myself marrying him. i am just happy with him even though hes at college 45 minutes away.but its okay....i just can't say i love you.i feel like what we have is so much deeper than love.i feel so guilty all the time because i can't say it and sometimes i feel so empty and filled with guilt. i don't want to lose him because that would take away my life.i don't know why i'm feeling like this. sometimes i'll be fine for two weeks or something and then these thoughts and feelings come back.i've tried talking to him, and he helps me so much.he makes me feel complete, but sometimes i feel nothing when i'm with him or with my friends.like i'm emotionally numb sometimes.its weird but like when i feel numb all i know is that i want to be with him.like ugh i'm just so tired of feeling like this :(all i know is that i'm happy with him. shouldn't that be enough?help? :(
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male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (5 December 2009):
 I think you love him indeed as you say but in the way you love your brother, your dad or a dear friend, you don't love him as a MAN. You say you feel save in his arms, he knows you very well, he listen to you and that's very comforting and convenient. Do you miss his kiss? Do you miss making love with him? Just ask yourself this: Suppose in a magic way you could still have him around as a best friend and he is perfectly ok with this and you are free to date someone else, would this be a relief for you? If yes, then you are with the wrong man.
A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (5 December 2009):
 Note when i speak of my own passion, I am talking about my husband. :D
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (5 December 2009):
I think you are overthinking this. You pretty much are inlove with him and I think I understand overall what it is you are trying to get at.
"I Love you" is such an easy thing to say. Its easy and sometimes it can be said with no actual sentiment behind it and can so easily be abused. You however it seems truely do love him and to simply say it doesn't actually equate to the depth of your passion. Its simplicity to say is almost a betrayl to your actual sentiment.
Well that is why people will say "actions speak louder than words." You can say I love you to him and mean it, but the actions you do to please him are what will actually heal you of what can only be discribed as guilt of not finding the right words. We all go through that. I myself have this floodgate of passion, devotion, love and pure ecstacy I feel for him. The type of feelings that just make me want to break down and cry I am just so filled that it hurts that I have no real meaningful enough words to communicate it. "I love you" is too simple, but my actions are what truely give my sentiments away to him and thats what makes "I love you" powerful. Its pretty much the action you put behind it.
HonningKanin
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A
male
reader, brovers  +, writes (5 December 2009):
 i think that if you read your first paragraph ,you answer it yourself, the way you feel and how he makes you feel i think should be enough ,i think he knows you love him but why not write it in a letter , to explain how you feel, this can help you with not saying it but writing it instead
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni've never been with anyone else but him.well except last year. we took a break and i went out with a guy who told me two weeks after that he found someone else. at that moment, i knew who i wanted to be with.i've never had a problem saying it before, but it gets harder and harder each day. i feel like i'm overthinking things. it should be enough that i'm happy with him.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 December 2009):
Has someone hurt you in the past that is now causing you to just be careful of being hurt again? You sound like you do love him, but you also sound like you're scared of being hurt, so avoid getting too close. Look back over your life and see if you've been hurt before. You might find your answer in your past.
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