A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dont know how to approch this and i dont expect an answer but here goes...So names Edi(alias) and i met a girl on the internet. well, met on an online game. at first it was just commradery, then friendship. we talked a lot, about life, friends, daily going ons, for about 3 months or so before i developed feeling, or a crush even.she know all about me, even intimately like im a virgin, never had a successful relationship (been cheated on, used, etc.). and i know her just as much. we really click as friends and have a lot of fun together, we even flirt a little.The Real issue at hand is that I live in Texas and she in West Virgina.now although, ive never had many or good relationships, i know much about them (listening to friends, "the friend zone" wealth of info, watching others). so i know a long distance relationship, usually, never work.anywho, i hold my feelings aside until about a year later when she told me that she loved me. now because of my failed romantic past, i dreaded the words "i love you", so i feared of what will happen between us. we keep things casual for a time, but eventually we put out our feelings and come to the conclusion that because we lived so far we cant really expect anything. i wasnt ok about it, but what could i do.as time goes on, i still cant help but be in love with her, maybe even more with each passing day. but she cruses on and moves in with a guy shes known her whole life. shortly after, they get intimate but hes hesitant about the relationship, sometime unaffectionate and wont talk about them. i know this because we both still talk. His story is that he was cheated on for years and just took it. now hes kinda messed up from it, her words. so we talk and i help her understand, or at least lend her an ear. "thank god i have you if only we lived closer" she texts me shortly after our talk and i cant help but think the same.i feel heart broken that i cant be with her. and things stay the same with her and her... fling? bf? i guess. she wants someone, but doesnt want to have things so one sided. also she's known him since they were little, so theres some emotions with him. again i console her, but state it clear that he may not be ready for a relationship. i know because i have been him before, might still be. so i told her, she either works twice as hard to say with him or move out but help him as a friend. afterward shes very greatful saying she wouldnt know what to do if she did have me to talk to.god help my i do love her. but im afraid to pursue any farther, in fear for our friendship. especially if she with someone else.i dont even know what to gain from posting this here. maybe just want to vent, maybe get advice. should i go for her? convince her to move down here? i cant move because of some issues keep me to support my family, so how can i ask her to do the same.sigh, i do love her. she is a very special person. she compasionate, she stand up for those she loves, i truly have fallen in love with who she is. maybe im still like him, and not ready for a relationship yet. but i feel i might regret not taking a chance with her. i dont know what to do.anywho, thanks for listening. any help would be apreaciated.
View related questions:
crush, flirt, long distance, online game, text, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Hey Edi here,
you might be right HonningKanin, i also probably already knew i miss my chance. as of right now, i have no choice to wait for someone, anyone. I have my own issues to work through. so i guess ill be here waiting and be there for her.
Thanks for yalls responses. ill keep looking and waiting for her or whoever im meant to be with.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (28 December 2009):
Whats wrong with just meeting? No expectations, no promises; just a meeting to see each other in person. You don't only have to meet when someone is making a permanent move. One of you can just jump on a train/bus/plane to see the other for 2/3 days or something. When you are finally together you can discuss everything and make a plan from there.
...............................
A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (28 December 2009):
 Its interesting and lovely to see people meeting on internet games is becoming more and more common. Honestly I think its better than putting yourself on a date site because atleast the game the both of you are playing is a common interest. It would be like meeting at an Arcade or hobby club.
Its how I met my husband. I met him through an MMORPG. We also lived in different countries, nevermind same country different states. We eventually had to meet to see if what we thought we had online was a reality. We both thought the feelings we had were our minds projecting better imagry than what was really there. I guess, in a way, it was better that way because we never could have imagined how lovely it was to finally hold eachother. We never really prepared ourselves for just how wonderful it would be just to be together.
But put simply, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." This is your happiness. Its should be worth alot to you and long distance relationship work only if both parties are dedicated to keeping communication alive. In my position I was lucky in that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
What is the real issue here is that she is with someone. You may have missed your window of opportunity with her. You have the option of either waiting for her or moving on yourself. It would be unwise for you to tell her at this moment in time your feelings as it will just complicate her life and throw unneeded variables to her already fragile situation. Right now you are the shoulder to cry on. A non judging, all caring, nuetral party she can go to for confidence and safety. If you tell her how you feel she will lose that and you may lose her.
Waiting is always an option. Especially if you think you are still unready for a relationship yourself. If she ever becomes available again and you think you may be ready for her, I would say let her know.
HonningKanin
...............................
|
