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... Send *endychickP a private message | | | *endychickP's profile:I am in love with love. I believe that it is the root of all things, good or bad, and that it has the ability to change history. I am not what you would call an 'expert' in relationships, but I try to give the best advice I can. What I really want to do is help people, because I know that I have been in a lot of dilemmas over the years. I hope that my advice helps you and maybe opens your eyes just a little to the fact that love is everything. |
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What should I do when my husband cheats every six months?
Q. ok, so i've been married for almost 4 yrs, and my husband cheats on my about every six months it breaks my heart. we have talked and talked. he says he wants to keep our marriage. i beleive that there is hope for us but im tired of hurting. i dont ...
A. 1 October 2008: This guy obviously wants the marriage, but isn't willing to change. Look at it this way, he thinks he's got it good. He has a wife at home, to cook and clean, and when he gets bored he can go off and find someone else. He thinks your a push-over and ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a woman makes the motion to touch you but then stops?
Q. I have a question about this female friend that I am attracted to, although I am already in a relationship with another woman. When she is talking to me, she sometimes goes out to touch me but then stops just before. In one conversation, this ...
A. 6 September 2008: It could indicate that she does like you, but is unsure. The main reason for this could either be because you are already in a relationship or because she doesn't want to damage your friendship. Maybe point this out to her the next time she does it, ... (read in full...)
My parents don't aprove of my boyfriend because he's a few years older than me. What do I do?
Q. Okay, so I went to this camp, Habitat for Humanity, and I met the greatest guy. He's sweet, caring, and we have ALOT in common. He really likes me, and he is dealing with my emotional baggage and all my other problems and faults. The only problem ...
A. 6 September 2008: The worst thing that you can do is sneak around behind your parent's backs. If they ever find out, you could lose their trust. Start showing them how responsible you can be by telling them about your boyfriend. If they react by telling you that you ... (read in full...)
Am I depressed or do I just need to raise my self esteem?
Q. So I am willing to admit that I have low self-esteem and am very self-conscious. At times I can be depressed because of this but I don't feel it is that serious that I would need to seek medical help. I grew up watching my mother take 10-12 pills ...
A. 3 September 2008: You definetely have a low self esteem, but don't worry! Just because you are deppressed sometimes doesn't mean you need medication. I think that the best thing you can do for yourself is to see a councillor. They could really help you to think ... (read in full...)
Is Sarah Palin a suitable candidate for VP?
Q. [Part of a DearCupid series on the forthcoming Nov 08 presidential election] Sarah Palin, John McCain's choice for vice-president, is a strict anti-abortionist, pro-guns and against sex-education. Her 17 year old daughter is now pregnant. ...
A. 3 September 2008: I think that no sex-education is farely stupid, and it could lead to many teens getting pregnant, but not necessarily. Just because her teenage daughter is pregnant, doesn't mean it is her fault. You can't really say what is going on in their lives ... (read in full...)
I have a history of mental problems and I'm feeling depressed again. Should I end it with him?
Q. Hi, please help. My boyfriend and I have been going out for approximately 3 months.. I have a history of mental problems, such as depression, anorexia, emetophobia/severe OCD, and have always had a problem talking to boys. I would not even s...
A. 22 August 2008: I think you need to see a counsillor about you mental health. Obviously this is affecting your ability to open up to people and this could prevent a relationship from turning into something more serious. It's good that you recognize that there is a ... (read in full...)
My question about this girl is how to ask her out?
Q. ive known her since 9th grade and now im in 11th i missed 10th grade with her because i was out of state in school we say like hi and bye everytime i see her in the hall i like wave and act like im going to tackle her and she jus laughs and says ...
A. 22 August 2008: Get to know her a little bit better. Maybe when you pass her in the hall, ask if she wants to hang out one day. Don't rush things by just asking her out randomly. She might even have a boyfriend. Just get to know her a bit better and be her ... (read in full...)
What should I do?! We were perfect for each other...
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me a couple of weeks ago because he said he has been in relationships his whole life and just wants his independence. I was caught completely off guard because I had no idea he was feeling this way. Our ...
A. 9 August 2008: I know the feeling, and it really is heart-breaking. The best thing you can do is not make this a time in your life, but the time of your life. You are free, so get out there and have fun. If you are nice to this guy, but don't act desperate and ... (read in full...)
Does this guy like me more than just a friend?
Q. i've known this guy since kindergarten and we are the best of friends but i liked him since the day we met cos he's so sweet to me. He goes all out of his way to help me. All his friends tease me cos i like him and among his friends is my ex who ...
A. 9 August 2008: Well, I think he might have feelings for you. Ask around, his friends and stuff, about what he says about you. If it is all good, try telling him how you feel. Don't jump into this too soon, he might not feel the same way, and this could make the ... (read in full...)
His ended his marriage - but won't move out?
Q. i am madly in love with a married man who has young children, his marriage was on the rocks long before i came along we were friends to begin with and we had alot in common as well as mutual friends,. when i realised he had feeling for me i backed ...
A. 9 August 2008: I think your friends are right. You should tell him how you feel, about his wife and him still living together. Make it clear that you aren't asking him to give up his kids, just that unless he can get his life sorted out, you should put the ... (read in full...)
Why are horrible people happier?!
Q. at school there is this one girl who is centre of attention. shes pretty and popular. however, she is downright mean. the other day she thought it would be funny to spill a cup of hot chocolate into my desk that had some of my belongings. i knwo she ...
A. 9 August 2008: Well, first of all, don't take this girl's crap. Stand up for yourself and tell her to back off. So you say your an unknown, then what have you got to lose? Just be nice and friendly and you will start to get a reputation for being a good person. ... (read in full...)
Why do I never get invited out on a second date?
Q. I am 35yrs old I am fairly secure with myself I am confident of my self worth, my life, friends, personality etc but since spliting with my LT boyfriend 6yrs ago I have had only one boyfriend which lasted 6 months last year (2007) and around 10 ...
A. 9 August 2008: Well, kaybe you just haven't met the right guy yet. I know it's frustrating, sometimes it sucks to be single, but it will get better. You have to keep at it, keep going out, having fun. On dates, just be yourself. I don't think it would matter if ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about the relationship status with my ex. He seems so cold...
Q. I don't know what my ex really wants anymore. I've never been so caught up with anyone before and it's a terrible first time. My ex is attached to this girl for about 10 months now and he is still in constant contact with me(We broke up in 2006...
A. 9 August 2008: I think you need to cut all ties to this guy. I don't think he is good for you and I think he is messing around in your head. I think that there is just too much history and physical chemistry there for your two to retain a friendship. If you really ... (read in full...)
I am dating my best friend, who started to be with me before she broke up with her last boyfriend, I have trust issues here, she is a "friendly" girl, do I try to have her draw the line with her male friends?
Q. hi just started dating my best friend. We've been friends since her last relationship and well she's a really "friendly" person. I know cause when we were friends she kinda cheated of her bf. We nvr did anything that's considered cheating but with ...
A. 8 August 2008: Just explain to her how you are feeling. Don't make her out to be a really awful person, that cheats and lies, just explain to her that you feel a little insecure because of the way your relationship started. Also say that it is okay for her to have ... (read in full...)
We've known each other for so long- why the suddent interest in me?
Q. Theres this guy who I have known for about 8 years as we used to go to school together. Recently he started chatting to me alot which he never did before. Hes been messaging me alot and talking to me pretty much every day. He asked me to the movies ...
A. 6 August 2008: Maybe he only just realised he likes you. Sometimes something sudden, like a relative dying or someone breaking up with you, is enough to shock people into realising what is right in front of them. Or maybe he just realised that he is atracted to ... (read in full...)
Could I have done more to help my friend when he was hurt by bullies?
Q. My guy friend, Kyle (not his real name) is being picked on, I'm not sure why. But its getting of out hand. Today Kyle and me were talking at school, then it happened, those guys came up to him and pushed into a locker. He started bleeding, I didn't ...
A. 4 August 2008: The reason he is being unreasonable is because he is either scared or even ashamed. You should tell a trusted adult about this, it needs to stop and the only way it will is if you tell someone. Bendy xx... (read in full...)
I feel I'm going mad ~ scared I'll get into trouble with the law for texting. I have never broken the law, but he did!
Q. This time last year my ex partner and i split up. we had lived together almost 6 years but before i met him i owned my own terrace house, no mortgage - silly me sold it and put the money into the joint house. He met someone else and systematical...
A. 4 August 2008: I don't know much about the law, but I don't think this is breaking it. You should probably stop though, as this is obviously just stressing you out. Just try to break off all contact with this man, accept that that time in your life happened and ... (read in full...)
Could I have done more to help my friend when he was hurt by bullies?
Q. My guy friend, Kyle (not his real name) is being picked on, I'm not sure why. But its getting of out hand. Today Kyle and me were talking at school, then it happened, those guys came up to him and pushed into a locker. He started bleeding, I didn't ...
A. 4 August 2008: It's good that you care, sometimes that is the only thing to do. It is best not to get involved unless you have to, because you might end up getting your friend hurt more. You need to talk to Kyle about this, and if he still doesn't want to tell ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be with her anymore, but I also don't want her hurt. Please help.
Q. Dear Agony Aunts I really really need your help. I'm 14, and me and this girl are going out and i know she's deeply in love with me and so was i, but now i don't think i love her anymore, and she doesn't have a lot of friends. She defines it a...
A. 4 August 2008: Well, I believe that the definition of a relationship is two people who care about each other. I know that you do care about this girl, but it will just her her more in the long run if you keep going with this relationship. You need to think, do I ... (read in full...)
My husband won't have sex with me any more.
Q. My husband won't have sex with me anymore. I'm only 23 and he just turned 28. We have a son who is 3 years old and has been a major challenge for us. In the beginning of our relationship he loved being intimate with me, he'd initiate it all the ...
A. 24 July 2008: I think you need to tell your husband exactly how you feel. You also need to reasure him that you just want to be with him, and spend time with him. Tell him that you feel insecure about how you look and how you are worried he has fallen out of love ... (read in full...)
Can you sense real love after being with your partner just a few months?
Q. I Feel real strongly with my partner and I trust her 100%, she is so amazing and keeps me happy. I love everything about her! Can you sense real love tho being with your partner few months?...
A. 24 July 2008: I believe that you can be in love with someone after only a few months. Although many people have different opinions about love. You obviously have very strong feelings for this girl and the relationship sounds like it is going well. Just enjoy ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend moved out of state to play football. Should I break up with him?
Q. im 15 and i really love my bf but he treats me bad and moved out of state for a year just too play football my friend are telling me too break up with him but i cant im too attached ?wat shud i do ...
A. 22 July 2008: You should definetely not be in a relationship where the person you love treats you badly. I think that right now, you are young and you should embrace that and just be happy. If this guy is treating you wrong, and it seems to me like this ... (read in full...)
If a guy is scared of commitment and falling in love, how long does it take for them to snap out of it?
Q. I think that my boyfriend is falling for me, because he freaked out and began pulling away. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't want to talk about it. Now I don't know what to do. Should I just give him time and ignore him, and if I give him space ...
A. 19 July 2008: The guy probably freaked because he realised how deep his feelings are for you, and that scared him. Wouldn't you freak out if you were suddenly scared of your own feelings? Just give him time, don't ingnore him completely, but don't obsess about ... (read in full...)
My husband seems to be addicted to Asian men in porn - what should I do?
Q. I'm 28, and my husband's 32. In the past few weeks his lack of sex drive is killing our relationship. He'd also been spending excessive time on the computer. I only found out why after he'd left the computer screen on - he'd been looking at Asian...
A. 18 July 2008: This truth coming out would obviously disturb you, and it is definitely shocking. I suppose that all men have some sort of fetish, but this is affecting your sex life so it has obviously became a pretty large problem. You should probably confront ... (read in full...)
He cheated and lied, I can't get over it!
Q. Ok, so...I've been in a relationship for just short of two years now. In the first three months, the man cheated on me and I did dump him but I've always been forgiving so I took him back. The part that hurt more than his cheating was that at that...
A. 18 July 2008: Yes, it is unhealthy to obsess over a certain thing for such a long time. All I can say is that one of the biggest elements of a relationship is trust and without trust it can't really work. It also usually starts with small things, like the smoking ... (read in full...)
He only comes to see me when I have money, why can't I leave him? Is this love?
Q. I need to know why am I doing this repeated. My boyfriend, he fights with me over money, takes every penny I have to the last drop just to get what he wants. Realised now that he is married with a 1 year son and he claims to be married bcos of his s...
A. 18 July 2008: My advice is to leave. Hitting someone is never right, especially when he claims to 'love' you. Please don't stay with this guy, the longer you stay with a loser like him, the longer you will keep yourself from all the great guys out there. He ... (read in full...)
What do you do if your parents don't want you to date?
Q. i want to start dating guys but what if your parents dont want you to yet and what if they tease you about liking boys what should i do?...
A. 18 July 2008: Don't worry, my parents used to do the same thing. Unfortunately for you, parents rarely just change their minds about this sort of thing. What you need to not do is sneak around or lie to your parents. You need to talk to them about the issue, say ... (read in full...)
Is she really just lying to me to use me to get away from her boyfriend?
Q. I am in love with a girl that I met 2 yrs ago. She is my best friend and her boyfriend at that time is my friend also. I had to move but stayed in touch with my best friend. She left her boyfriend and moved up to wyoming getting with another guy. I ...
A. 18 July 2008: Maybe confront your friend about how you feel about this girl, and see how he would feel about it. You obviously don't want to lose your friend, but you shouldn't sacrifice a chance for love because of this issue. At least let your friend know what ... (read in full...)
Is she really just lying to me to use me to get away from her boyfriend?
Q. I am in love with a girl that I met 2 yrs ago. She is my best friend and her boyfriend at that time is my friend also. I had to move but stayed in touch with my best friend. She left her boyfriend and moved up to wyoming getting with another guy. I ...
A. 17 July 2008: This may be different from the other relationships this girl has had, as you have been friends for a while. She may have only recently found out she has been in love with you. If you're afraid of getting hurt, take things slowly. Tell her that if ... (read in full...)
Any ideas on how to deal with sensitive people?
Q. I've been with my GF for few weeks now, she's a really sensitive person and she told me that her mood changes suddenly. I noticed this when we had a little tiffle the other night, one minute we was joking around and the next she just switched, we ...
A. 17 July 2008: Well, learn to deal. You shouldn't really go out with someone you have to tiptoe around. She may be having mood swings, maybe her hormones are out of whack. She should see a counsillor or doctor about keeping her emotions under control. See what ... (read in full...)
I've been with an amazing boy for 8 months. We haven't had sex, but we're going to. It's a long time since I had sex, and I need some advice.
Q. hey, i know this might sound daft but i am curious, im now 17 and when i was 14 i met my first love, it was like one of those romantic films and we just got on straight away, when we had been together for 6 months, i had just turned 15 and thought i ...
A. 16 July 2008: No, your hymen, once broken can not grow back. It only really hurts because you are nervous about having sex. You are obviously in a great and trusting relationship and more than ready. Don't rush things and have fun with it. This means alot to you ... (read in full...)
My mum and dad have been arguing, and my mum said she hates me. I don't know what to do and I need advice.
Q. I am an 8 year old boy from Cupar in Fife in Scotland. My mum and dad have been not really been getting on well and they have had some bad arguments. One day my mum got very annoyed with my big brother for putting a towel in with the dirty clothes. ...
A. 16 July 2008: Oh honey, I'm sorry your parents are going through a tough time. But things like this happen, and you need to know that this is not anyones fault. While what your Mum did was not right, she is probably very stressed and upset at the moment. You need ... (read in full...)
I get jealous and worried - I need to become a better girlfriend. Please help.
Q. I've never seeked help over the internet for relationship issues, so as you can imagine typing this is extremely hard - mostly so, because I feel as though no matter what I say, people are going to interpret things different to how I feel, but I ...
A. 16 July 2008: It is a shame that most of your views on the male kind are that they are untrustworthy, liars, cheaters and over dominant losers. I can see why you're are feeling insecure, it is hard to trust after such an awful experiance. You need to stop ... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed by my girlfriend!. What should I do?
Q. I met my first girlfriend last year. We started dating a few days after we met, which was at a "Relay for Life" event. We dated for around 9 months, with some breakups and other rough spots in between. 2 months later after the breakup I find out...
A. 16 July 2008: Well, this girl obviously hasn't come to terms with the definition of 'relationship'. Cheating is not right, and not something that should happen. There is a definate chance that she may be pregnant, you should get it checked out. If she is ... (read in full...)
I often wonder why I can't seem to find the right man. In a few years I'll be too old to become a new mother.
Q. I am a twenty nine year old nurse and mother of a 7 year old son whom I just adore! I have a lot going for me including looks, intelligence, and witt. I often wonder why i can't seem to find the right man. I would love to someday get married to the ...
A. 15 July 2008: Many people have bad luck in finding their Prince Charming. Don't get down about not finding 'The One'. Keep your options open and keep looking. You'll never find a guy if you sit around moping all day. Go out there and find a great guy for ... (read in full...)
Does my teacher have feelings for me, because the signs are all there?!
Q. I think my teacher might have feelings for me. We are both female, and she's apprently a lesbian (although it's never been confirmed) and she knows i'm Bi. Anyway...whenever i've walked past her room i catch her staring at me, when she's teac...
A. 15 July 2008: How old is your teacher? Her body language suggests she likes you, but I might be wrong. You should also know that this 'crush' can't go any further. A teacher has a service of care and it is illegal to make a pass at a student. Maybe when you are ... (read in full...)
I slept with him, then found out I want his mate!
Q. This is a question on behalf of my friend. she met a guy (guy one) about 3/4 years ago in a club, they bumped in to each other quite a lot and got on really well, she got his number, stopped going to this club for some reason and lost her phone. ...
A. 15 July 2008: Well, its definetely a tricky situation. Your friend should have a talk with Guy Two and ask how he would feel about her asking out Guy One. If their time together was only a fling, he probably won't mind. But she should be wary of how she goes ... (read in full...)
He always compliments me and he's all touchy-feely. How do I know if he is genuine and how can I reciprocate?
Q. this guy tells me all the time how gorgeous he thinks i am and how he loves me. when we're together he holds me in an embrace as if he doesnt want to let go. he always ask me to go out and i really like him but wanty no if hes just a player or ...
A. 15 July 2008: Well, he probably does like you. Has he been in a bad relationship before? Maybe he's been used or hurt or even cheated on. I mean, would you hesitate before going into another relationship? Maybe he is scared of being hurt. Just continue to be his ... (read in full...)
I don't want to interfere if he makes her happy, but I don't know how much longer he will keep it up.
Q. Quick introduction. I'm having confused feelings over a female friend. I'm 18 she is 17 just over a year younger than me. She started in sixth form college (UK) the year after me. Anyway, she was the friend of a friend, and she started spending...
A. 15 July 2008: I think that this girl is confused. It appears that she is having feelings for you, but isn't over the 'prick' yet. Lack of trust in a relationship is definetely not going to get it very far. You should be honest with her about your feelings, it's ... (read in full...)
Please help me find something that is comfortable, that won't ITCH ME!!
Q. I have a problem wearing bra's and I'm so frustrated. Everything I wear seems to itch, even the softest cotton. I've tried every kind that I know of...the only kind that worked for me was a 100% cotton sport type bra from venus I think, and now ...
A. 15 July 2008: Well, your best bet is probably something from Bonds. I'm pretty sure they use 100% cotton. Start of with just a material bra, try not to wear padding. Also, best to ask your doctor about this, she or he might be able to help with the itching. Hope ... (read in full...)
He always compliments me and he's all touchy-feely. How do I know if he is genuine and how can I reciprocate?
Q. this guy tells me all the time how gorgeous he thinks i am and how he loves me. when we're together he holds me in an embrace as if he doesnt want to let go. he always ask me to go out and i really like him but wanty no if hes just a player or ...
A. 12 July 2008: Well, this guy obviously likes you, right? So just subtley observe the way he acts around other girls, this is how you find out if he's a player. If he flirts with other girls alot, it may be harmless, but could progress into something more. Also, ... (read in full...)
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