My husband won't have sex with me any more.

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My husband won't have sex with me anymore. I'm only 23 and he just turned 28. We have a son who is 3 years old and has been a major challenge for us. In the beginning of our relationship he loved being intimate with me, he'd initiate it all the time, we'd be spontaneous, we'd wake up in the middle of the night just to have sex with each other. When my son turned a year old my husband really started to lose interest. He tells me he's still attracted to me and that he'd never cheat but I can't understand WHY. He used to be the type of guy that wouldn't let any issues get in his way of having sex with me; sleep deprivation, stress, working too long hours, the flu, nothing could stop him. Now it's every little thing. I go to kiss him passionately whenever he leaves for work or comes home and he stops me. He acts like it's a chore, if I kiss him when our son is in the same room he tells me it's creepy. Our lack of sex life has just made my self esteem plummet, I've gained 100 lbs having to deal with depression and infertility (we've been trying for over a year for our second baby)and a culmination of other things so I feel incredibly unsexy.. I figure at this point things can't get much worse. I'm lonely, I want the intimate touch of a loving partner. I want to feel desirable, and instead on the rare occasion he gives in and does have sex with me he looks bored and like he'd rather be somewhere else. I have no idea what to do. He's a young, virile guy so I'm just stumped on why he always says he never feels well, he's too tired, he's too this or that and that he can't have sex. He avoids it. Could he just not love me anymore? Is he mad at me and withholding sex? I don't know how to read him anymore. When I try to talk to him about it he'll skirt the issue and avoid talking about anything related to our having or not having sex. I did try the other night to hold him in bed, curl up against him and he kept pushing me away saying he was tired. I persisted because I'm so tired of being rejected and he rips the covers off the bed and said "fine, you want to f*@$, let's f*@$!" ... he had me scared and close to tears. I don't know what to do anymore.

View related questions: self esteem, sex life

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