A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok, so i've been married for almost 4 yrs, and my husband cheats on my about every six months it breaks my heart. we have talked and talked. he says he wants to keep our marriage. i beleive that there is hope for us but im tired of hurting. i dont want to give up on him because he expects it. and i know he loves me. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Blahhhh08 +, writes (21 November 2008):
Well, I'm going through the exact same thing, so I can't be of much help. It will be 4 years in March. I'd say every 6 months is about the average. Are we married to the same bastard? I lost count of the exact number of females. Some were just so-called "emotional" affairs. To my knowledge 4 were sexual. The fact that he only just revealed 2 of them, basically lets me know there's more. I've been trying to get him to own up to those 2 for about 2 years now. The most recent sexual affair happened late June. The very 1st happened within our 1st 6 months of dating. I was pregnant, we were engaged, and he got her pregnant. Our sons are only 6 months apart. Don't feel bad. There's someone out here more pathetic than you. Which basically means there's millions of us. Some of you being judgmental think she's so stupid or crazy for staying. However, no one in my family, none of my friends, neighbors, etc., know any of this. Just goes to show that every couple that appears to be happy isn't. Everyone thinks I have the perfect life and marriage. This is more common than you think. Just look up and down your street. Behind closed doors things aren't as they appear. I'm not condoning it. I should definitely be gone, and he's a dog. Just letting you know it's reality.
A
female
reader, szparaga +, writes (3 October 2008):
I am sorry to hear this, you must be strong and as much as you love him, you have to get out. Do you want to live like this forever? I don't think so. He wants his cake and eat it too, marriage is a 2 way street, without trust, there is nothing. There are to many fish in the sea, to be with someone who is not faithful. Once every six months, once a year,once a month, it does not matter. Think of yourself, what you may catch,how it makes youfeel, the hurt, the anger and your self esteem. Tell him you are NOT going to stand for this and take time out for you. Allow your heart to heal, this must be very hurting for you. If he loved you, he would NOT do this. Get out and move on. Its your life my friend, if you have to ask what to do, then I think you alreay know, do not be afraid, God has a plan for you, let him intervene. There are still faithful good men out there. Good Luck and STAND YOUR GROUND!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): Leave him please! My boyfriend of a year used to always tell me he would think about being with other girls. His reasons were because of his insecurities, fear of commitment and trust issues that came from previous relationships of his. I had to lay down the law because although he has never physically cheated on me or emotionally, he did mentally and that is just as bad because it made me trust him a little less. He has changed now, and you know why? Because I left him. No phone calls, emails or visits. He called with the apology immediately and assured me of his true feelings and told me he was scared of committing to me because I was a huge flirt. Harmless flirt, but if the situation was reversed I wouldve left him. I had toChange and he had to change. You have to be stronger and more independent and he has to realize that "do unto others" and being selfless are the only ways you can be completely content in love. God bless you sweetheart, and make a wise decision. Love isn't supposed to Hurt!
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A
female
reader, ally-  +, writes (1 October 2008):
please for yourself, leave him. he's havin his cake and eating it! time for you to live your life, though hard to image it with-out him; time is the best healer. And this may be exactly what you need to feel stronger and better about yourself and him to realise what he's letting go. don't be a doormat
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 Cheat once, its get overable, twice, its unforgivable, every 6 months???? Do you have such a low opinion of yourself?
What miracle is going to come along and save you from this awful soul destroying life?
C xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): GET A DIVORCE! This is so messed up.
This isn't good for you at all. You need someone who will cherish you. Someone who will respect you. Someone who will love you right.
Besides which, you do know that STD's are prevalent now-a-days, right? What if he's infected and you're going to bed with him every night? What if he gets infected in the future? This isn't good for you.
You really need to think about this. He isn't that sweet guy you married anymore.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): Have you considered that if he expects you to give up then maybe that is what he wants?
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A
female
reader, BendychickP  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 This guy obviously wants the marriage, but isn't willing to change. Look at it this way, he thinks he's got it good. He has a wife at home, to cook and clean, and when he gets bored he can go off and find someone else. He thinks your a push-over and that it's okay to cheat on you. It's not! I
think you should end the relationship. To me, it is the only way to truly be happy in this situation.
Best wishes,
Bendy xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): I do believe your cheating hubbie is giving YOU the power to say NIX to your marriage. Either leave now, or suffer and suffer which does nothing for you mentally, emotionally or physically. Don't continue to give this person with no scruples or moral conduct power over YOU!!
There is no shame if you have made a mistake in your choice of marriage partners. The shame would be your dealing with this six month problem and it destroys you.
An opinion and sggestion born of experience.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): if he's done it more then once hell keep on doing it. and if he truly truly loves you he wouldnt do it at all. stop hurting your better then that you dont deserve that its just like when a man hits you repeatly and keeps saying im sorry! would you take that if not then why are you taking this! Get out ASAP!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Oh that's a easy answer... Leave'em honey. You sound like one of those push overs on Life Time I swear to gawd! Us women are so beautiful and strong so why do we keep letting our husbands run over us. Sweetie this isn't your boyfriend or just some "fling", dont you know the other woman can get pregnant, have some STD or worse..something she can't get rid of! Put your foot down, take off those earings and pull your hair back in a pony tail and let him know what's really real okay?!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): i think its about time you took charge of this situation and got some self respect. no one deserves to be treated in this way. you say he loves you then why does he treat you this way. This sounds to me like he wants to be married and still behave like he is single. He has total disregard for your feelings, this is not a one off silly mistake he knows exactly what he is doing and he knows that you will forgive him. Get out and find someone who deserves you.
Dont be fooled by this man anymore he wont change.
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): DUMP HIM!!
He will NEVER change & he dosen't want too!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): If your not going to leave him, why should he stop? If he knows your going to stay, he's going to keep on doing it. I don't blame him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): hey. cheats on you every six months? of course he wants to keep the marraige, he has you, and he knows he can have meaningless sex with other girls. can u honestly see a future even if he does stop the cheating? can u truely forgive him and look him in the eye and trust him from then on? if not your selling yourself short. he has done it again and again so he ovboiously knows he can get away with it. he loves you? love isnt like that. i would leave him. you deserve better, let him be with the type of girl he deserves 2.. the one night stand type
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