A
female
age
36-40,
*weetnsour027
writes:So I am willing to admit that I have low self-esteem and am very self-conscious. At times I can be depressed because of this but I don't feel it is that serious that I would need to seek medical help. I grew up watching my mother take 10-12 pills a day for depression and I would never want to get that way. Therefore I am trying to catch it early and hopefully resolve this in my best ability.I am doing some very dumb things in life. I am drinking heavily, in hopes that I will be more outgoing and people will like me more (males and females). I am engaging in casual sex, in hopes that a guy will accept me and thus want a relationship. And daily I down myself because of my appearance. I honestly couldn't say one good thing about my appearance. People always say that you have to love and accept yourself before others will. But I see it the other way around. I can love and accept myself until I see that others do.Relationships aren't working for me. I dwell alot on past relationships. I dwell on bad situations in general for long lengths of time. I dwell on the fact that I am single. I dwell on my appearance and the way I would like to look. I am unhappy alot. People tell me alot that I am crazy to think that I am ugly and will always be single. They claim I have alot going and just don't see it. Am I crazy? I just want to be happy.I guess I am asking if anyone has any advice on raising self esteem? And I guess, does it sound like I need medical help?
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (3 September 2008):
 If you drink to make yourself feel better you will only feel worse, alcohol is a depressant. People wont like you more because you are drunk quite the opposite. As for casual sex, how do you feel the next day? Used?? Dirty? Even more depressed? You are setting yourself up to be even more depressed and lowering your self-esteem even further.
Yes it sounds like you need help to stop this downward spiral. First step though is to try going out without the need to get really drunk and sleep with anyone, see if you feel better about yourself the next day knowing you were in control. You dont necessarily have to take tablets to raise your self-esteem and stop this depression, your doctor should discuss alternatives with you. The best thing for you right now is probably someone to talk to and find out why you are behaving and feeling this way. It should also enable you to stop dwelling on the past and move forward in your life. I wish you luck x
A
female
reader, BendychickP  +, writes (3 September 2008):
 You definetely have a low self esteem, but don't worry! Just because you are deppressed sometimes doesn't mean you need medication. I think that the best thing you can do for yourself is to see a councillor. They could really help you to think better of yourself. Also, don't binge drink. Honestly, it doesn't really make you appear more attractive or fun. Try just going out and being yourself. I know it will be hard at first, but keep on trying. Try not to dwell on the past, because that's exactly what it is, in the past. Hopefully everything goes well.Bendy xxPS:It's good that you are getting help early on, so please see a councillor before it gets bad enough that you need medication.
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