A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 28, and my husband's 32.In the past few weeks his lack of sex drive is killing our relationship. He'd also been spending excessive time on the computer. I only found out why after he'd left the computer screen on - he'd been looking at Asian porn.It wasn't the usual Asian women pornography that some men would look at, but instead it was young Asian men which shocked me.I confronted him with the evidence, and asked him outright if he was gay or not, but he said no.He doesn't seem to show any sexual interest towards men other than the Asian ones he had been looking at (the Internet history showed hundreds of searches for Asian pornographic sites, relating to Asian men).I feel disgusted towards him, and don't know what to do next.I really need some help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): Mine husband was caught a few years ago and now after 13 years he recently told me he is GAY and wants to pursue it. What a waste of 13 years. GET OUT NOW!!!!!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 July 2008):
People who are curious about the other sex will often use porn to have a bit of a look around to find out what turns them on. It doesn't mean he'd ever do anything with them in real life... just that he's curious.
However, having said that, it is causing problems in your relationship and that is not right.
Tell him that you NEED him to try and explain what's going on. Be open minded and don't show him your disgust even if you feel it or he will not be able to talk about it.
This doesn't mean the end of your relationship but it means he needs to learn to balance his curiosity with his responsibility to keeping you happy and satisfied. He is your husband, that's his job.
It could be that he is so happy with you that for the first time he has felt he can explore other sides of himself, and just got carried away.
Talk to him but really listen and work out a compromise.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, BendychickP  +, writes (18 July 2008):
 This truth coming out would obviously disturb you, and it is definitely shocking. I suppose that all men have some sort of fetish, but this is affecting your sex life so it has obviously became a pretty large problem. You should probably confront your husband about his behavior and tell him how you feel about it. After all, honeesty is the best policy. You should also, if you feel you have to, ask him to stop this strange behavior. If he really loves you, I'm sure he'll understand. Best of luck,Bendy xx
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