It was nearly 8 years ago. We broke up due to his cheating. So why does he still have a hold over me?
Q. My ex cheated on repeatedly and when I found out it broke my heart. We were in our late teens and it seemed like I would never get over it, as it does at that age. Time moved on and so did I, and after a year or so I felt ready to start meeting ...
A. 30 August 2014: This is a common problem when people are in relationships from a young age, i.e 16/17/18. It's hard as they are your first 'love' and it's hard to think that you can move past such a long relationship. This being said, do you really want to a... (read in full...)
I don't have it in me to compete for him
Q. I have recently started seeing a guy who i met on an online dating site. Our first date went very well so we met up a couple days later for another date and it went on from there. Last night he came to my place, i made him dinner we had a lovely ...
A. 30 August 2014: This is a good question! I understand you have problems with trust here, but if your gut is saying not to go out with him then don't.
It seems as if he will probably have had people talking to him through the online dating site, however, if he wa... (read in full...)
Am I over thinking it when my boyfriend calls me dear?
Q. I haven't seen my boyfriend for about a month now, although we've talked and texted almost every day. But, recently, in the past week or so, I've noticed that when he texts me, he calls me "Dear". He calls me babe all the time and even has me as ...
A. 8 August 2014: Yes. You're thinking too much into it. People use that word affectionately and I really don't think you should think into it! If he always calls you babe etc, then I really don't think there is any issue :)
Next time you see him just ask him why ... (read in full...)
My Fiance's Ex Is Stalking Him...Should I end our engagement???
Q. My boyfriend and I got engaged last month, and we were so happy. Then, we got a nasty surprise. A girl, whom he had a brief relationship with back before we met has turned up out of the blue, saying she loves him and wants him back and to leav...
A. 8 August 2014: "A girl, whom he had a brief relationship with back before we met".. "He claims (and tbh, I feel he is telling the truth,) that he didn't even kiss her the relationship" - I am sure that things did happen as I don't think this girl would be so hung ... (read in full...)
I don't want to block him because he is a nice person but I'm freaking out now because he will take my rejection very badly, how do I handle this?
Q. I have been chatting to a man online for a few months now, he seemed ok and I would offer him advice as he had mental problems...he has a borderline personality so I did google the illness and realised that people who suffer from that tend to act on ...
A. 7 August 2014: As Honeypie has said you don't REALLY know the guy and moving fast, by adding people onto Facebook can completely be a game changer. Considering it is a personal thing, getting to know someone then 'letting them into your world' can cause ... (read in full...)
Two different accusations of him "trying it on"
Q. My boyfriend is trying to drum up business for himself through facebook and he adds a lot of people that he knows (even if only just a little bit). Last night he added his friends girlfriend. He then got a text to say: why are you adding so-and-s...
A. 7 August 2014: "... but I think he definitely loosens up with alcohol..." - He was probably drunk and then more than likely DID do what he is perceived to have done.
If he doesn't drink as much now, as you say this was over 8 years ago, leave it in the past and... (read in full...)
Should I have attended a funeral of my husband's former employee
Q. My second husband leads a company in a small community. An employee of his that worked for the company for a long time and that he had to let go a few months ago, committed suicide. We haven't been married long, and I don't know the people that ...
A. 7 August 2014: I don't think that this is normal. I would have gone if I was in your position, maybe he is hiding something, by not wanting you to go?
If you're married, then surely you would be with him as a means of support, the fact that you didn't go seems... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like me wearing a bikini to the beach but I feel restricted!
Q. My boyfriend isn't happy when I wear a bikini to the beach. While he doesn't restrict me, when I wear the bikini, he would be in a foul mood because he doesn't like guys staring at my body. While I want to take his feelings into consideration, it ...
A. 7 August 2014: He can't control you. You can LET him control you, which is what you're doing. If YOU want to wear one then you wear one. Sure people will always look at others, that's normal and life.
If you 'bow down' to his wish, he will continue to start co... (read in full...)
Do you think the age difference of 3 years is a problem for two teenagers?
Q. So, I'm 17 years old, and I'm a lesbian. I'm talking to this girl, we'll call her "M," and she's about to be 14. We started talking through Facebook, and I didn't know her age by looking at her profile. She told me, and I had no problems with it. ...
A. 7 August 2014: As previous posters have stated, this girl is under-age and she will think in a different way than you as you are older. She may act mature but the way in which we actually think about things at young ages changes with time, so what she thinks now ... (read in full...)
My family won't support me because I didn't go to university!
Q. My family are stressing me out. I can never please them, no matter what I do. They are serioulsy struggling to accept the fact I didn't go to University. I really didn't want to go- it wasn't the route I wanted to take in life, it was what THEY...
A. 6 August 2014: You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, if you are happy they should be happy for you. It's not about what they want, they want you to be a certain way, having a career, as you haven't 'turned out' that way, they are making you feel inadequate. ... (read in full...)
What does the CEO want? Should I go there prepared to share a bunch of ideas?
Q. I wrote an email to a company to give them some fresh ideas to help in its performance. I got a call from the secretary saying that the CEO and Marketing director want to meet with me. The call was very official but friendly. I'm not sure what the...
A. 30 July 2014: Be prepared! Always.
You must always be prepared for any outcome in life, whether that be having your heart broken, or having a meeting with a CEO ;)
If you've got ideas, great, take them into the board room, if they don't wanna see them t... (read in full...)
Online dating issues. I want to message him, but what would I say to him now?
Q. I joined an online dating site and met a man and had quite a few dates with him. He wanted to keep his options open, but I caught him out in a lie when he said he was not at a place when he was. Since then he went quiet on me and so I told him he's...
A. 30 July 2014: I'd honestly just leave it! If you want to say something just say I am sorry for what occurred, then move on. Nothing else left with this guy, sorry!
Good luck! :)... (read in full...)
Have I missed the bus?
Q. Have I missed the bus? Hi I'm a fifty year old from rural England who is at the end of a relationship that has not worked for the last few years, the thing is I feel as though I won't find a woman for love at my point in life, I'm getting quite low ...
A. 29 July 2014: Get out there, join some clubs, visit different 'groups', i.e - walking groups/reading groups, whatever your interests are! :)
Don't worry and chin up!... (read in full...)
He was always happy to talk on the phone, but not so much for getting together in person
Q. I met a guy online 5 months ago and we went on our first date after about 3 weeks of chatting. We had a great time and it was clear we got on well. Soon after our first date, he started calling me every night and we would speak for over an hour ...
A. 29 July 2014: He was far too intense and was probably just wanting something instead of having nothing in the beginning. When he realised that it was going to be real. E.g - Seeing each other in real life, he didn't like that and retreated.
Unfor... (read in full...)
I feel like I've rebuilt myself from the ground up and am ready to explore a new relationship. How do I convince friends and family not to worry?
Q. I'm needing some advice on how to handle a new relationship situation which has honestly got me stumped. About 3 months ago I came out of an abusive long term gay relationship. The abuse was mostly emotional but there were tmes when it crossed ...
A. 29 July 2014: Hi there! Firstly, you have been brave for stepping out of an 'unstable' or 'problematic' relationship, that takes courage, and a lot of people do stay in them because they're scared of being alone, or not having them around I guess. I do hope that ... (read in full...)
He left me, I moved on, now he wants me back!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles Here's my problem...my partner broke up with me six weeks ago after three years. I was upset but the spark in our relationship had disappeared long ago and so I was happy to move out. I missed him for a couple of weeks...
A. 28 July 2014: Glad that these replies have been helpful to you! :)
You're right though, if you don't feel it then I guess even if you do feel sorry for him, it's just not fair on you to give up what you truly want to make him happy.
I think maybe he doesn't... (read in full...)
I'm gutted that my boyfriend canceled our getaway weekend and went out with friends instead!
Q. Hi everyone, Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 and a half years. Things have always been good. Recently we've both been busy with work but I've found I'm seeing my boyfriend less and less. He plays football for a local club and trains ...
A. 27 July 2014: Don't say anything then he'll know you've read his emails, which he won't like, and feel like you're "spying on him".
The only reason, as you say, is because he went out wit his friends, surely he had enough money as he had booked it already,... (read in full...)
Should I ask out the 22 year old woman I'm interested in?
Q. Hi I'm a 31 year old guy, 2 months ago I split up with a 23 year old. Now I've met a 22 year old who I like but I'm worried she is too young for me so I haven't asked her out yet. I got the impression from a few of my friends and family tha...
A. 26 July 2014: Why not?! If you like her then go for it! :)... (read in full...)
Did I miss the boat? Should I reply to his message brushing me off?
Q. I'm not sure what to do about this. I contacted a guy last night. I only met him once and it was a while ago. I had a night out with a friend and I met him then. I sent a friend request last night and sent him a message just asking if he remembered ...
A. 26 July 2014: The boat has sailed away, unfortunately you missed this guy, there will be many more, but his attitude seems very brazen. Don't fret over this.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
How to spice up our sex life?
Q. My FWB and I have been having sex for the last six year. Of course when we had short term relationships in between, we stayed away from each other. We tried being together romantically but we were a mismatch when it came to longterm. We realized ...
A. 26 July 2014: Bondage. Seems to be the in thing, what with 50 shades!... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to get this relationship back on track?
Q. I met a woman on a dating site and we hit it off so well we that we took our conversations offline and started texting. After a week she deleted her account on the dating site and I just never bothered with mine again. After 2 weeks we had arr...
A. 26 July 2014: How did you find her new account?
I think she had reason to say about "spying on her" as obviously it would have looked like you were.
I think you have said the truth here "I do wonder why she created a new account and uploaded private pictures... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'll be intruding on private family grief!
Q. My girlfriend granddad is dying in hospital. She wants me to take time off work to be with her and her family in the hospital. I'm happy to do so and so are work but i'm not sure if should just leave it as it's a family thing. Her cousin's b...
A. 26 July 2014: I think she would appreciate your support, however, it depends how long you would need off work. If it would be 'intruding', then no, I don't think so.
In terms of the cousins bf, then if he lives further away then surely he would harder for him ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my mate, but don't want to ruin the friendship!
Q. I have strong feelings for my mate and he doesnt know and I don't know if he feels the same should I tell him yes or no if yes should I tell him over internet or face to face I don't want things to be awquard or weird and most of all I don't wanna ...
A. 26 July 2014: How often do you see him? How often do you talk?
You need to expand your question as it's very vague :(... (read in full...)
Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new?
Q. I got a question, i'm a gay guy and I love straight men, especially buff or frat guys. I can't get enough of them. Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new? ...
A. 26 July 2014: Because they are um.. Straight :)... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to what I discovered about my Bf's Hooters visit?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. Recently, he went to Hooters with his friends and at first, I was pretty annoyedd but then I got over it until I found videos in his history of Hooters girls. Am I overreacting because I feel lik...
A. 26 July 2014: I'm from England, but I genuinely don't think it's a big deal! He's a guy, guys do guy things! Chill about it, honestly :)... (read in full...)
He left me, I moved on, now he wants me back!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles Here's my problem...my partner broke up with me six weeks ago after three years. I was upset but the spark in our relationship had disappeared long ago and so I was happy to move out. I missed him for a couple of weeks...
A. 26 July 2014: Hey there,
"my partner broke up with me", "I was upset", "I missed him for a couple of weeks and then I met someone new", "My ex has heard I've been seeing someone", "He gave me a load of abuse","I'm feeling sorry for my ex", "Could I fall bac... (read in full...)
I'd like to tell him I've fallen in love but I don't want to pressure him
Q. Should I tell my boyfriend I am falling in love with him? We have been together for only a few months but it hit me recently that I am in love with him. Or should I wait for him to say it first? I don't wana put pressure on him to say it if he ...
A. 26 July 2014: Firstly, I am happy for you, it sounds perfect what you have! :)
I dont think that would be putting pressure on him at all, as your description sounds like he is very much feeling the same way, yet may feel scared of the feeling of being loved.
... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to hug him when he doesn't want a girlfriend?
Q. Hi so this boy I like likes me back I asked him back and he said no as he didn't want a gf at the moment! So my friend said to him that I wanted to hug him and thas is sorta true... Anyway he said he wants to hug to!! My question is would I hu...
A. 21 July 2014: Hey!
No, you do not need to 'go out' if you have hugged him!
Remember, things take time to develop, you can't just go out with someone instantaneously, after you have hugged!
Just spend some time with him, be his friend, hug him when you... (read in full...)
Why are some younger guys physically attracted to older women?
Q. When you write that question on google, you get a lot of answers such: having their life together, being more self-assured, more open sexually, etc etc, but I was wondering how some younger men find bodies with signs of aging attractive, what do ...
A. 20 July 2014: Older women are more mature, people presume, not always necessarily true, however the idea is that they are.
They have their own independence, their own lives, their own minds, in a way that a 23 year old, for example, does not.... (read in full...)
Is he shy? should I bring up dating?
Q. I'm kind of baffled by this guy in my life right now. We've known each other since about the beginning of March. We hang out in a group together, usually to go eat out, see a movie, do some random activity. We talk the most when we're apart from...
A. 18 July 2014: Maybe just shy and doesn't know what to do, how much do you actually talk about together? Have you flirted with him? How often have you gone out together?
Has he recently broken up with anyone, or has he been hurt in the past etc?
Let me ... (read in full...)
What are my chances with her? Should I message her? It was going so well at first.
Q. I met this girl on a web site. we went on a date on sat night and met her again on sunday. We had so much fun.. went back to her house on saturday night ( no sex) and sunday she came over we went to the pool ( no sex) she wants to wait. I respec...
A. 18 July 2014: Just text her this time, and if she doesn't reply then leave it :) ... (read in full...)
In Love: At what point can I make a move on my University Lecturer? After I finish my MA?
Q. First post in here, I really need help. I'll get straight to the point; I'm in love with my university lecturer. He's introduced me into a whole new world of my subject area that has inspired me to carry on my education and we can have conversatio...
A. 17 July 2014: Thanks for your update, and I'm glad you understand the fact that he is only doing his job.
You are engrossed in the moment, and for now just enjoy learning from him and realise that you WILL move on, I promise you :)You can think about him sure... (read in full...)
Not sexually compatible. She's beautiful and we've been together 5 years. What can I do?
Q. I have a problem that I think may be pretty common, so I would like to hear from people who have been through it, or are currently dealing with it. I have a partner who is great in every way. Independent, smart, good looking, shares a lot of ...
A. 14 July 2014: If you don't have any sexual connection, then you have already answered your own question.
You say "I know she deserves to be with someone who feels the same about her.", so maybe you will have to let that happen.
I think that is a fundamental... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? Holiday booked with Bf but I don't want to go.
Q. My boyfriend and I (both in twenties) have been together for 5 years but we're having our first holiday abroad this year. He can be very snappy at times and I've found he's been doing it a lot recently, I've talked to him and he's said he will sto...
A. 14 July 2014: I'm sorry to hear this situation, this isn't fair on you if he is snapping and hurting you by those actions.
I know he will say he is 'sorry' but he will only do it again and again, if you let him that is.
Is there anyone else you could go wit... (read in full...)
In Love: At what point can I make a move on my University Lecturer? After I finish my MA?
Q. First post in here, I really need help. I'll get straight to the point; I'm in love with my university lecturer. He's introduced me into a whole new world of my subject area that has inspired me to carry on my education and we can have conversatio...
A. 14 July 2014: I know how you feel, I was in love with one of my teachers at school, but I never knew the person that I was in love with.
It was an ideal scenario in my mind, so I was able to escape into my thoughts and idealise this person in my head. It made ... (read in full...)
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