A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend isn't happy when I wear a bikini to the beach. While he doesn't restrict me, when I wear the bikini, he would be in a foul mood because he doesn't like guys staring at my body. While I want to take his feelings into consideration, it makes me feel restricted. What should I do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, -BMBTL-  +, writes (7 August 2014):
 He can't control you. You can LET him control you, which is what you're doing. If YOU want to wear one then you wear one. Sure people will always look at others, that's normal and life.
If you 'bow down' to his wish, he will continue to start controlling you in other ways, wearing a dress, wearing make-up.
Say NO, I'll do what I want. If he doesn't like it, leave him - You're worth more than that!!!
I hope it works out for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2014): If you're attractive, even if you're not so attractive; men are going to check you out. Don't build your relationship based on his control and restrictions of your style of dress.
If your bikini is too tiny? Say, dental-floss? That is not style, and too revealing. He would have a right to feel uncomfortable about it. It's an invitation for guys to gawk, disrespectful to not only your boyfriend; but toward yourself. You have to wear something you know is classy and flattering, not cheap. Too much cheek, or if little kitty is almost peeking over the top. No, no, no! Not when you have a guy. If you were single, the sky's the limit. The problem is, guys may not behave properly around you. Your boyfriend has a point.
You don't have to hide your body for your boyfriend's sake, but you don't want to allow him to set wardrobe restrictions or develop a dress-code for you.
Compromise.
You know the type of lady you are, and the type of image you want to project about yourself.
Set your sense of style according to your own taste, sense of class, and how you feel about yourself. You are not going to the beach in a burka, unless you're Islamic.
Don't compete with your girlfriends, to see who can display the most flesh. If you're hot, you'd get stares if you were wearing grannie-panties! Well then it might be the grannie-panties! You get my point. We all like attention. It's got to be the right kind.
I don't think you should not wear a bikini if you want to, regardless of his pouting. Give-in, and you'll always have to pass inspection every-time you go out. Compromise, or consider getting a less conservative or jealous boyfriend.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2014): Wow. Passive aggressive much? He's emotionally manipulating you each time you wear something he disapproves of. By being in a foul mood and making it known to you, he puts you in a position where you want to gain his approval - make him happy again by not wearing the bikini.
You aren't an object. You aren't his possession. Wear what you want. Wear what you're comfortable with. Men are going to look at you no matter what you wear. Next time he'll tell you to stop wearing tight shirts because you're attracting attention to your chest.
Tell your boyfriend that you won't stand for his petulant and controlling behavior. If he denies being controlling or manipulative and defends himself by saying anything such as:
1. I'm only looking out for you.
2. I get jealous when other people look at your body.
3. I'm your boyfriend. You should only show your body to me.
4. If you truly love me, you would do as a I say.
5. If you truly love me, you wouldn't do anything that would attract attention from other men.
If he says anything remotely similar to those five lines, run for the hills.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2014): When he gets mad about other men looking at you, ask him this: "what about when you look at other women?" And trust me, ALL men look to a certain extent. Your boyfriend is no exception. He may not ogle, but if a woman is attractive, he's going to notice. Therefore, he's being hypocritical to get mad at men who notice you. The women he notices are likely someone's girlfriend or wife. How is that any different?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 August 2014):
 Wear what you want, tell him to grow up.
If you LET him control what you wear, what's next? Who your friends are? What you can eat? read? watch?
Or you can buy a peek-a-boo one piece, though I'm sure he would dislike that too.
MEN will LOOK at you in a bikini and it clothes, that is reality. Even your BF will look (or at least NOTICE) other women at the beach too.
...............................
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (7 August 2014):
Wear your bikini and dump the insecure jerk.
...............................
|
