My partner doesn't offer me any security in the relationship, and treats me like a piece of furniture...
Q. Do I stay or do I go? I have been with my partner for almost 5 years, he is divorced with a daughter, I have not been married and have no children. The house belongs to my partner, he pays the mortgage but I paid half the purchase costs (an...
A. 29 October 2005: This is what I say to women all the time WHY WHY WHY do you set up house with a man before you've married him. That's where you have no security in the relationship because you're giving a man the best years of your life and if a man's married it's ... (read in full...)
I used to like one girl, but met another at a party and everything changed!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am so confused and need help please! I really liked this girl and I had strong feelings for her. I really loved talking to her when I had the chance. Then last week I went to a party and saw another girl I knew for ages; since primary ...
A. 29 October 2005: It's normal to like more than one person, but don't lead anyone on and don't play any games. You need to be honest with yourself and decide who you want because the last thing you need is someone ending up hurt.... (read in full...)
I don't understand why my ex is so nervous and weird around me!
Q. My ex and I were each other's first serious relationship. We broke up 9 months ago, he dumped me. After about 7 months of no contact, we are in a situation where we see each other everyday. His behavior is weird and he gets very nervous when he sees ...
A. 29 October 2005: I wouldnt worry too much about it since your ex is the one with the problem it's not with you. He's got some issues to work out. I wouldnt waste your time on him start meeting other people and moving on with your life.... (read in full...)
He's acting like we're over, but I can't get a straight answer out of him...
Q. Hi there. I am in a weird situation. My b/f of about 2 years just stopped speaking to me and all of his friends. Nobody can get through on his cell phone, because he keeps ignoring the calls. I sent him a text message asking to meet, and he said ...
A. 29 October 2005: I've seen this before where one side acts like it's over and the other side is trying to make out the mixed message that person is sending. This is where things can get dangerous because you will have people playing these stupid games and someone ... (read in full...)
My ex is pregnant, won't leave her boyfriend, but still has sex with me!
Q. I was with my ex girlfriend for 1 year. She's 26, I'm 40. She was in love me but never told me. I pushed her away, told her to find someone her own age. She met someone else, moved in with him and got pregant 3 months later. They have only bee...
A. 29 October 2005: Ok you're 40 years old and she's 26 meaning physically she's a woman, but mentally 12. You have to be the bigger person here and put your foot down. What are you doing still having sex with her in the first place? She's not going to leave her ... (read in full...)
Sixteen years old and I'm still a virgin! Why can't I get this guy interested?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 16 and still a virgin. I really want to have a sexual relationship. I don't currently have a boyfriend. However, I really like this guy who I have known for about 2 months and he has a great personality. The problem is he do...
A. 28 October 2005: At 16 you shouldnt even be thinking about having sex because you're not ready to handle the consequences of that from unplanned pregnancies to sexually transmitted diseases. At 16 you should be thinking about going to school and enjoying your ... (read in full...)
If I put on any more weight, my fiance is going to leave me and our son!
Q. My fiance and I have a boy together. We were OK, but just recently I have put on weight. He said if I put on any more weight he will leave. He is already planning to get a house of his own. What am I to think?...
A. 28 October 2005: What kind of man would walk away from the woman he loves and a child he's got with her? If he was really that insecure he should have not went and had a child with someone. He needs to buck up and stop acting like one of these perfectionist driven ... (read in full...)
My wife said she'd been with 15 guys before me, but it turns out to have been 50!
Q. Before I got married I asked my wife about her sexual past and I shared mine with her. She told me she was with 15 guys or so. That was twice as many partners as I had and I thought as long as she was honest upfront that would be fine. I asked ...
A. 28 October 2005: First and foremost you need to work on rebuilding the trust because it was broken when she was dishonest with you about the number of people she was sexually involved with prior to the marriage. In this day and age you can't afford to be dishonest ... (read in full...)
I want to give up smoking drugs, but when I try to discuss that with my bf, it turns into a fight...
Q. Ok... I need some serious help and this isn't about love or sex. I have been in a long term relationship with the man that I know I will marry. Unfortunatly we both were big in smoking, and i don't mean cigerattes. Now I want to stop because ...
A. 28 October 2005: You have to want to get clean for yourself NOT him. If your man loves you enough he would support you in turning your life around for the positive. Start by getting into an outpatient rehab program and then work your way into a support group. Start ... (read in full...)
My bf turns everything around to being my fault! I'm unhappy, but he's great with my kids!
Q. I have been seeing a guy that I met off of the internet about 4 weeks ago. As soon as I met him I took off any dating profiles that I had online because I knew I wasn't looking to meet anybody else. In the first two weeks we was together it all s...
A. 28 October 2005: Julie,
You need to let this man go. As painful as it sounds he looks like someone who's behavior is giving away clues that he's predispositioned to be an abuser. Emotional abuse starts this way and eventually ends up physical. Your children... (read in full...)
Dad discovered stuff on my laptop and now he doesn't trust me with guys!
Q. I made one mistake and now everything is screwed up. I went away for a while and left my laptop at home and my father just decides to look through my computer and found conversations between me and my ex-boyfriend. They weren't really sexual we were ...
A. 20 October 2005: Here's one thing what is your father doing rummaging through your private correspondence? I know your father is concerned, but he went about finding out the wrong way. How would he like it if his children invaded his privacy, I don't think he would ... (read in full...)
I love him, but he only thinks to ring me when he wants to meet up!
Q. Hi, I am 19 years old and I've been in an on off relationship with this boy for 5 years. I love him to bits and I think he loves me too in his own way, but the problem is that after we meet up he doesn't ring or text until he feels like meeting up ...
A. 20 October 2005: I would leave this guy because you are only wasting your time with someone who's only interested in seeing you when he wants something. Don't let a guy play you like that and you need to show him how valuable your time is by not giving him a minute ... (read in full...)
He won't let me go out and have fun with my friends!
Q. I am thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend but.... I am 17 and my fiance' is 24, I do care about him but he is too possesive over me. I just want to grow up and go out with the girls and spend time with my friends but it will destroy him...
A. 20 October 2005: I am going to be honest with you on this what could you possibly have in common with someone of 24? You're 17 you're still a kid practically this guy is grown and doing things you're not able to do. You need to be with someone who is the same age as ... (read in full...)
We're trying to work through his cheating and my needing time on my own, but there's so much pressure!
Q. I just don't know what to do. I've been married to my second husband 13 years. We met when I was married to my first husband at the time. Things happened very fast and we married and had a child all within a year. I never showed him much affectio...
A. 20 October 2005: Well you have a lot of decisions to make and giving the nature of your relationship it seems you didnt give much time to dating each other and establishing a relationship instead of rushing to get married and having a baby in such a short amount of ... (read in full...)
It can't ever work out, but I'm in love with a married, older woman...
Q. I'm 17 and I have fallen in love with a 22 year old married woman with a 2 year old kid I used to work with. She has also fallen in love with me. We have seen each other quite a lot since I left my previous job. My heart constantly aches and so ...
A. 20 October 2005: A previous poster has taken the words out of my mouth which is to end it because she's MARRIED and has a child which flashes baggage. You're 17 years old you're a kid and this is a grown woman you're dealing with. She needs to stay away from you ... (read in full...)
Met a wonderful woman online, only to find that she's started mentioning her 'boyfriend'!
Q. About six months ago I unexpectedly met a wonderful woman online; I hadn’t been looking for anyone at that particular moment so it was even more unexpected. We quickly became good friends and emailed each other a lot through out the days and even...
A. 20 October 2005: If you met this woman online and she all of a sudden mentions a boyfriend I would not waste anymore time with her because that's a BIG clue that she's involved with someone and don't put yourself in the position of second best because you are worth ... (read in full...)
Why is my MSN guy so hot and cold when we chat?
Q. Hi, I really fancy a boy off msn. We usually always flirt, I have met him a few times too. He says that the next time he goes clubbing, he wants me to come so we can get together. However, sometimes hes really nice with me and we get on really w...
A. 20 October 2005: I've had lots of conversations with people about this and I am going to tell you what I tell them. When you're dealing with people on the internet you're not even talking to a person you're talking to a screen name with a person behind it. Most of ... (read in full...)
My baby's father is engaged to someone else...
Q. I am pregnant by a man I love, but he is engaged to another woman. I didn't know that he was at the time that we made love, we used protection, but it failed. Now I don't know what to do. He says he'll support me financially if I decide to have the ...
A. 20 October 2005: If he says he will step up to the plate then hold him to that, but always remember that you do have the courts to handle getting child support if he chickens out. Make sure you've explored all possible options and discuss them with the father to see ... (read in full...)
He won't be back home until Christmas. Am I stupid to wait for him?
Q. Hi everyone, I'im a 21yr old female who is a bit confused, so here it goes. At the start of summer I got to make friends with this really great guy. We had great times together until about 3 weeks ago things got a bit more steamy. We loved meeting...
A. 20 October 2005: If you two havent formally declared your relationship to be exclusive than no you should not be talking about being faithful to him since you're not in an exclusive relationship with him. Get out and meet other people and if he's going to be gone ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait for his kids to meet my daughter?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a widow with a third grade daughter. I have not dated in fifteen years, and feel lost with the dating scene. I have been dating a wonderful man for three months. It has taken some time for my daughter to warm up to him, (expecte...
A. 20 October 2005: This is something you need to be careful with because this is relatively new to the children on both sides. You've been dating for 3 months I would wait until at least a year giving how young children don't adjust well to their parents being with ... (read in full...)
Why is my 16-year-old son in such a hurry to get married?
Q. My 16-year-old son told me yesterday he wants to marry his girlfriend soon - who is also 16. He goes to college and is doing well at the moment, so no worries there. I asked him had he thought about his future and he said yes, he wants to go ...
A. 20 October 2005: A lot of teenagers want to have what they want and not think about the consequences of the choices they make. If he were to marry now the chances of the marriage staying together is not good. When you're that age you're learning about love and life. ... (read in full...)
I want my girl and I to be together, but we're different faiths!
Q. How do I sustain a relationship with my girl who is a Christian? I am a Muslim. She says I have to be Christian to marry her and this is not possible. I have conceded by saying she can practice her religion....
A. 20 October 2005: You might be surprised to know that there are Muslims that are in fact Christian, but if she's devout Christian then she's faced with having to marry someone of the same faith.If she loves you then look at what's keeping the two of you together, if ... (read in full...)
My bf and his ex still keep in contact several times a week!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He was with his previous gf for almost two. He broke up with her due to her insane jealousy. They still however email, text and talk on the phone 2-3 times weekly. I am incredibly bothered...
A. 20 October 2005: Ok this is a tough one, but your boyfriend doesnt know that his EX is an EX for a reason. Unless they're good friends after ending things amicably that's different because there's nothing going on, but if he's still contacting her by phone, email, ... (read in full...)
While I was away, my boyfriend redecorated my house... and left me with the bills!
Q. I have just come back from holiday. My boyfriend looked after my house while I was away, and he decorated parts of my house and bought new furniture, as a surprise, but I have to pay the bill. It made me feel angry. What should I say to him? I ...
A. 20 October 2005: You shouldnt have to foot bills when you didnt ask your boyfriend to decorate your house. If he did this project then it's his responsibility to pay the bills of the supplies he used to decorate your house. Next time he plans to do something major ... (read in full...)
In four years, my boyfriend hasn't kept a job for more than 3 months!
Q. I have been with my bf for 4 years. He has not kept a steady job during this period. Every job he gets lasts no longer than a week besides one exception which lasted 3 months. I am 22, he is 23 and we have lived together for 2 years, after the ...
A. 20 October 2005: I am currently in the same position, but only add on having been to jail a few times. My boyfriend hasnt kept a job no longer than 2 months. I've called him a couple times and I would catch him sleeping in until 2-3 in the afternoon while the rest ... (read in full...)
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