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female
,
anonymous
writes: Ok... I need some serious help and this isn't about love or sex. I have been in a long term relationship with the man that I know I will marry. Unfortunatly we both were big in smoking, and i don't mean cigerattes. Now I want to stop because I got a possession charge and have court on Dec. 2nd. But my boyfriend knows that I will be OK with court so it's not a good reason for me to stop. He doesn't see a point in stopping and to me it's like something that is childish. I want to let go of that part of my life, but every time we talk about it, it turns into a huge fight and it's getting to the point where I am ready to just give in. And I don't want to do that. It's costly and I'm the one who pays for everything. Rent, bills, food and everything in between. I need some help on what I can do or what I should do to make this easier...should I just give in and continue to do it? or what? I'm in need of some serious help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): Dont feel pressured to carry on with a drug habit cos your boyfriend aint ready to give it up like you are..maybe he is just jealous that you have the will power to kick the habit and he just cant be bothered to try..also he might be worried that if you no longer smoke then you wont purchase it for him anymore..which you shouldnt do anyway.
A
female
reader, QueenB75 +, writes (28 October 2005):
You have to want to get clean for yourself NOT him. If your man loves you enough he would support you in turning your life around for the positive. Start by getting into an outpatient rehab program and then work your way into a support group. Start by getting rid of that boyfriend of yours because anytime he can't see you're trying to do something positive with your life he's holding you back from doing someting to help you in the long run. The first thing you honestly did was admit that you have a problem, but start with re-evaluating whether staying with this guy is going to do you any good in the long run.
Getting off drugs is the best thing you can do for yourself and if you're doing it for a man then you're not being honest with yourself. When a woman does things just to keep a man she's not being real with herself about her potential and worth. If he's not commending you for taking back control of your life you do not need him. Someone who loves you would not behave this way and feel that what you're doing is silly when you deserve to live a clean and drug free life. If your man wants to continue destroying his life with drugs that's his choice, but don't let what he's going through bring you down from making that positive change in your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2005): I am happy that you are trying to make some positive changes in your life. You shouldn't have to pay for everything to suppose this piece of scum you call a boyfriend. He uses you and he knows that if you stop, he wont get any money from you. That is why he fights. Lose the loser and find someone who will treat you better. He's a leeching punk who needs to a whuppin'.
Don't ever give in. You are maturing as you are realizing that there is more to life than just smoking drugs all day. If he fails to accept this, then he isn't the right man for you. Tell him to get a job and to pay for things! Don't put up with it.
Btw- have you seen pictures of people who smoke frequently...not so pretty.
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