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male
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anonymous
writes: I'm 17 and I have fallen in love with a 22 year old married woman with a 2 year old kid I used to work with. She has also fallen in love with me. We have seen each other quite a lot since I left my previous job. My heart constantly aches and so does hers, we don't know what to do because we know it can never work between us, mainly because of my age, her current marriage and the fact there is a young child thrown in the mix which also would lead to financial problems. Please give me some advice. Thank you for your time.
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female
reader, QueenB75 +, writes (20 October 2005):
A previous poster has taken the words out of my mouth which is to end it because she's MARRIED and has a child which flashes baggage. You're 17 years old you're a kid and this is a grown woman you're dealing with. She needs to stay away from you because I don't know where you're from, but she could go to jail because you're jail bait and she could get charged with statutory rape of a minor. If this woman is not happy in her marriage she needs to work that out on her own and you're just complicating things by falling in love with her and this woman's messing up her marriage by falling in love with you. You need to find someone your own age and leave her alone before someone gets seriously hurt in this situation.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2005): My advice to you is end this relationship now. Do the honorable thing for yourself, for this woman's husband and family, and yes, even for her. It will hurt-that's a given, but grieve this loss and recover. It will take some time, to take this time to do some serious work on healing the emotional wounds you are carrying that lead you to believe that you don’t deserve an (unattached)woman’s love, instead of just being a part-time lover to an unhappily married woman. Get back to a state of integrity and gain respect with yourself. You are deluding yourself, settling for being "leftover's". I don’t care what she tells you or what you want to believe. I’m not saying she doesn’t love you. She probably does. I’m not saying she doesn’t fantasize about leaving her marriage for you. I’m sure that’s something she struggles with. But the bottom line is that you are 'only' her lover and she is married to and living with someone else. If this woman leaves her husband and wants to be with you, then you can go forward together. But I suggest you wait until 'after' the divorce..then perhaps, pick up where you left off.
If you do this just keep in mind, there will be huge responsibilities such as raising her child with her and supporting a 'instant' family. Are you ready for that? And remember, if she's cheating on him with you-the chances are, she'll think 'nothing' of doing it to you when she becomes disillusioned with your relationship and boredom sets in. The best thing I can say to you, you are young, you are still maturing into a fine person-make better choices for yoursel and get out there and date people your own age. Allow yourself to be free to find someone who you don’t have to share with anyone else. Take care and I wish you the best of luck.
Hugs,
Irish
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A
female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (18 October 2005):
She can't love you that much if she has a child! Let her go and find someone else to fall in love with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2005): Age is not the answer to your quesiton. Some people say that age does matter. Others do say that it does matter. Would you really want to go through a tough life, and trying to spuport the child and this woman. She was currently married, but now she is divorced. The only odd thing is that you and her are 5 yrs apart. Which can be really bad. And get you stuck in the mud. You don't know how this relationship is going to work out. But if you love her, and she loves you. Then it should not be a problem. But since your 17 yrs. old I suggest that you finish school until you graduate. Does she think it is wrong for you guys to date?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 October 2005):
 She's married. End of story. Look her up after the divorce. Starting life as an adulterer is the pits, buddy.
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