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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am pregnant by a man I love, but he is engaged to another woman. I didn't know that he was at the time that we made love, we used protection, but it failed. Now I don't know what to do. He says he'll support me financially if I decide to have the baby, but is it fair of me to give birth to a child whose father is busy trying to build a life and a family with someone else? We've been friends/lovers on and off for 2 years.
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female
reader, QueenB75 +, writes (20 October 2005):
If he says he will step up to the plate then hold him to that, but always remember that you do have the courts to handle getting child support if he chickens out. Make sure you've explored all possible options and discuss them with the father to see if this is the best thing for everyone because you don't want to bring a child into the world that's going to be abused and mistreated which is the sad part of the world when people who are ill prepared for the responsibility of parenthood have children and treat them poorly. Children deserve loving,healthy, stable homes with two parents who are ready to be parents and there are so many couples who would be willing to adopt your baby. There are agencies like this one called The Cradle which helps you to find a family to adopt your baby. I wouldnt waste too much time because certain options may not be possible if too much time goes by. Seek proper counseling to help you sort out your choices and the options you are considering for this situation.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2005): Hun, nothing about this situation is going to be "fair' to this child. Every child deserves to have a solid, intact family with a Mom and Dad who love and respect each other. But sadly that's just not realistic, with many people and sadly, the children really do suffer the worst and get all the fallout, of their parent's mistakes. But what's done is done. He is engaged and loves another, and I have a feeling no amount of cajoling or persuasion will change things for you. But he does have need to take 1/2 the responsibility in this which he has agreed to. Personally, I think you should consider "adoption" for this child-so many wonderful childless couples who have lots of love to give are out there looking. But, before you make any decisions, I think you need to contact a "Pregnancy Crisis" center and talk to a counsleor who can support and guide you in making decisions that will help you in deciding what you need to do. Please call a center in your area and book an appointment, right away. These people are highly trained and will help you through this process. Good luck, my dear and take care
Hugs,
Irish
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