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female
,
anonymous
writes: My ex and I were each other's first serious relationship. We broke up 9 months ago, he dumped me. After about 7 months of no contact, we are in a situation where we see each other everyday. His behavior is weird and he gets very nervous when he sees me. A mutual friend of ours talked to him about us and she said she couldn't get much out of him, but what she could get out of him was that he was upset about the situation and constantly seeing me. This is taking an emotional toll on him.But then she told me she thinks he has feelings for the situation, but not for me. She proposed maybe he was wracked with guilt or missed being my friend. However I've proposed friendship to him several times and he's said its not something he's interested in. So I don't understand how you can have feelings for a situation and not for the person. Can someone explain?Also the same friend said guys get over things very quickly and easily. He is someone who gets emotionally attatched to people and painful situations for a LOOOONG time, yet he told me 3-4 weeks after our relationship ended (before we entered NC) that he had moved on. Is it possible that someone who gets so emotionally attatched could be over someone they thought about marrying that quickly?I feel like if he has been over me for 8 months, then he would be able to be friends....or if he just didn't care about me and didn't want to be friends he wouldn't be so incredibly upset about this.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): Some men and women just can't be friend with an ex. He is one of them. Just move on and ignor him. I am sorry he is not being polite and speak to you when he passes, but that is his problem. Say hello with a smile that you use whenever you pass someone you know, and let it go at that. Don't let him control your response, or sense of manners.
A
female
reader, QueenB75 +, writes (29 October 2005):
I wouldnt worry too much about it since your ex is the one with the problem it's not with you. He's got some issues to work out. I wouldnt waste your time on him start meeting other people and moving on with your life.
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