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... Send *err Professor a private message | | | *err Professor's profile:Hey, all. I live in the southern United States, right smack in the middle of the Bible Belt. I joke that I'm in a tiny pocket of ignorance, but it's not really all that bad. I'm just too open-minded for my own good. I'm a live-and-let-live kinda guy. I like people, and I think I understand why people do what they do, even though I don't understand myself sometimes!
I majored in Psych in college, and considered becoming a therapist, though ultimately I didn't go into that field. I've always been one to help others. I'm told that I'm an attentive listener, so tons of folks come to me with their problems. I'm objective and non-judgemental.
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He refuses to sleep in our bed, and doesnt come near me anymore, is he just playing me ?
Q. I have been single for nearly four years. i met a man with two children one adult and one 17. i get along with the kids very well. Actually the 17 year old and i have bonded so much that my boyfriend makes comments such as, what they think you're ...
A. 14 September 2006: He works, but you pay all the bills and drive him to work. He won't do anything with physically, and treats you like a stranger. You're about to come into some money, and he needs it to pay off some of his debts. Yeah, I'd say he's playing you like ... (read in full...)
This guy and I have had past issues... so should I allow him in my life as more than a friend?
Q. Ok so my best friend gave this guy my phone number and I've been talking to this guy on the phone since mid-April. I'm 17 and he's 19. He asked me out a month later after meeting me for the first time (I live a hour away from him). I said yes, but ...
A. 14 September 2006: Let's look at this logically.
He asked you out, and then went AWOL for three days. When he turned up, he was drunk and needed consoling because he had just broken up with somebody else, which meant he originally asked you out while he was still in... (read in full...)
My husbands family doesnt like me, what do I do ?
Q. help, new husbands grown children and family do not like me. kids are 30, 28.29. and 35 years old husband was single for over 10 years. i'm 50 and he is 62 we are happy. one of his sons is going to be a new dad and we went to the baby shower and ...
A. 14 September 2006: Maybe I'm reading this incorrectly, but I don't see how you came up with the conclusion that your husband's children don't like you when it is his brother's wife and kids who are having the second shower. If your husband's kids didn't like you, then ... (read in full...)
His ex will not leave us alone, its really upsetting me, all I want to do his make him happy!!
Q. Please help me, I am 22 years old and am seeing a man that is 8 years my senior. He has four kids and an ex that just wont leave us alone. I have to put up with her constant threats and this is really getting me down. But most of all whats rea...
A. 14 September 2006: No, honey, you're not in the wrong. The guy sounds like an insensitive prat. This is probably one major reason why his marriage failed. I won't even get into all that.
I would like to point out that when you accept him into your life, the four kid... (read in full...)
She is in Paris being smug while I decided to finish up at school
Q. Hi everyone, So my girlfriend and I have been together for four and a half years now. We met at the end of high school and maintained the relationship throughout college (we did the long distance thing for a year as we went to different colleg...
A. 14 September 2006: Scott, I think you should hang on a while. She hasn't even been gone long enough to really get homesick. I'm sure that she's still caught up in the adventure of being someplace new. I'm like that in Amsterdam and Rome. I love my family dearly, but ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my boyfriend - but he is 21 and I'm only 14!
Q. ive bin with my boyfrien 4 seven months im 14 and hes 21 we have decided to have sex and got contraception and such like but im really nervous because i dnt no wat mt body should look like plz can you help me ? ...
A. 14 September 2006: Jesus, Mary, and Joesph!
You SHOULD be nervous, sweetheart! You're too young physically and emotionally to have sex. It's very likely that wherever you are, you are not of the age of legal consent. Your "boyfriend" could go to jail and have the... (read in full...)
He watches porn and I am disgusted!!!!!!
Q. i have been living with my partner for 2yrs and planned marriage, i loved him so much but now he has broke my heart,he said he watched porn once in a blue moon but i discovered otherwise-and what he watches is making me sick,all the girls look ...
A. 14 September 2006: NO! All men DO NOT want to look at virginal, prepubescent girls. it doesn't matter whether the site is legal or not. Maybe the models are legally adults. The point is that he gets on girls who look like kids. If he does that, it's not a long leap to ... (read in full...)
Im concerned as to what this substance was, any ideas ??
Q. Hi just a curious qn. Several months ago my bf and i were trying to have sex, he was pushing quite hard against me to get it inside but it hurt so i gave up. However that is not the reason im writing this, just wanted to give a brief desc. Roughly ...
A. 14 September 2006: Did he put anything on your body, sweetie, like a lubricant, or was this something expelled from your body? If it came from your body, he might have penetrated your hymen, which is a mucous membrane inside your vagina, or caused some trauma to ... (read in full...)
We have been off on, off on, for a while now, I dont want to push her, so should I give her the space ?
Q. In feb of '04 I met the most amazing girl. I never believed in love at first sight but the moment I saw her I was drawn to her like I had never been to anyone else before. We had the story book relationship for a while. Everything was wonderful and ...
A. 14 September 2006: I think you should respect her wishes and distance yourself from her. She's told you that she's confused and needs time to get her head together, because when she's around you, she obviously can't resist going back to what's comfortable. I'm not ... (read in full...)
It shocks me that he is no longer in love with his ex-wife
Q. How long does one need to recover from a heart-break relationship? Will it be different between guys and girls? My situations is this. My boyfriend was divorced 1 yr and 3 months before we met. We've been together for 1 year as of now. He was marr...
A. 14 September 2006: You're questioning your boyfriend about why he's NOT in love with his ex-wife? Would you be cool with it if he WERE? Listen, Sweetie, my grandmother was fond of an old saying: "Don't borrow trouble."
If my wife ran off with another guy, yes, I t... (read in full...)
He cheated and said it was because he was young and I didnt pay him enough attention!!!
Q. Me and boyfriend are young i'm 19 and he is 18. We have been together for just over 2 years. We also have an 8 month baby. And i found out since february that he was cheating on me. Reasoning is being young and also the lack of attention i payed to ...
A. 14 September 2006: He's 18. Of course he has a lot of growing up to do. He isn't ready to be a father yet. This why kids SHOULDN'T have kids. Being a parent is hard work. Will it always be this way. I hate to sound negative, but yes, it just might. You're too young at ... (read in full...)
Together 6 years, broke up, I miss him, and thought of not being friends is killing me!
Q. Never having felt this low before, and emotionally a state. Ive finished a 6yr relationship with a guy who loves me more than the world, told me and showed me regularly, although it was a very volitile relationship and always has been, i do not like ...
A. 14 September 2006: There's no reason why you can't remain friends. There's no law that says former lovers have to be enemies or never see one another. Many people go this route, and I've never understood why. I have remained friends with most of my ex-partners. You ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that my bf has never brought me to orgasm? Help-I want to make things better.
Q. Is it normal that my bf has never brought me to orgasm? He can get me horny really easily, and he knows what i like and we're both perfectly comfortable with eachother but he just can't get me off whatever method he tries, even though i often ...
A. 14 September 2006: It's actually more complicated for women to reach orgasm. In fact, most experts on the subject claim that it's not really very uncommon for women to NOT climax through intercourse alone, regardless of how well the man's organ functions. Women need ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriends best friend have a crush on me ??
Q. Warning: long, drawn out question(s)! I'm in kind of a funny situation right now... My boyfriend has moved away for a short period. His best friend just moved back to town.. When we all lived in the same state, we'd all hang out together, go shopp...
A. 14 September 2006: Ummmm, sweetheart, there might not be anything going on between you and him, but there's definitely something going on between him and you!
His behavior isn't really appropriate, especially the fact that he wants you to keep those late night te... (read in full...)
Do I go to Russia to be with my gf or stay in America..close to my children?
Q. I am 31 years old, married for 8 years with 2 children ages 3 and 1. I am in deeply in love with another woman, a brilliant, lovely, sweet woman from Russia living in America named "Elena". I have confessed all to her. She still wants to be with ...
A. 14 September 2006: First of all, I think it's great that at least you and your wife agree that things aren't working. I totally concur that parents who don't love one another shouldn't stay married, particularly just for the sake of the kids. Kids are much more ... (read in full...)
I already told him I was falling for him, we went out last night and hes totally distant!! What can I do ?
Q. Hi there, Im 31 years of age and in love with my best male mate. Thing is im really scared I have screwed things up with him. Nearly two weeks ago I told him I was falling in love with him, but he made no comment as to what he thought to me ...
A. 14 September 2006: Him not saying anything speaks volumes to me. I think he gave you his answer indirectly. If someone said that to me, and I reciprocated the feelings, I'd make it known. He probably thinks of you as a good friend, and this has really thrown him.
... (read in full...)
I cant get him out of my head after our night of sex!!
Q. I had sex with a guy i met that night and now i cant get him out of my head!! help Well heres the story..i met this guy and we knew each other through another person.. anyways so i saw him at a party at i went up tp him to see if he was actully g...
A. 14 September 2006: Sweetie, all you can do is ask. Maybe he wants to see you again. Maybe not. If you don't ask, you'll never know. By all means contact him. Just tell him that you enjoyed the other night, you were really comfortable with him, and to give you a call ... (read in full...)
All he said when I told him I loved him was "awww Babes" nothing else!!
Q. I told the person I've loved for two years how I felt today. I've known him longer than I've known any other man: we've always been close and flirted. Today, we both stripped and saw each other naked- the height of our flirting. It's apparent...
A. 14 September 2006: Okay, sweetie, did you tell him that you loved him, or that you were IN LOVE with him? There's a huge difference. If you two are close friends, he probably thought you meant that you love him as friend.
What I can't figure out is how you two saw ... (read in full...)
My parents can't accept him because he's 25 and I'm 18...
Q. Hi, I've got a problem. I'm 18, have been single for about a year now. Got out of a bad relationship, thank god. Anyway, my friend decided she wanted to set me up with someone. She told me he was 19. Tom and I went out and had an absolute bl...
A. 14 September 2006: NY Glamour, your parents thought he was great before they learned of the age difference, and now that they know, they're upset? I understand that they want to protect you, but you're legally an adult. The two of you are consenting, legal adults! ... (read in full...)
The only other girl I loved, doesnt want me, what can I do ?
Q. i am an 18 yr old lad i only loved 2 people in my life. And I have a real problem, one has sadly passed away, and the other, I have loved for over two years. I am in the army and I think about her through the mud and the cr*p but she doesnt want ...
A. 14 September 2006: I know you don't want to hear this, jjbeever, but you're only 18. You got your whole life ahead of you, and there are so many women still waiting for you love. It's gotta be tough being in the army, away from home and family and friends, surrounded ... (read in full...)
Im 27, shes 19, would it be inappropriate to date her ?
Q. Hi, um, first time here. I'm 27 and I've fallen for my 19 year old friend. She's wonderful and I think the feelings are reciprocated. But I've not made a move because I'm worried she'll think I'm too old. I've known her since she was 16 and I...
A. 14 September 2006: Michael, no...you are not too old for her. You are both legally consenting adults. As for the age difference, I don't see 8 years as that much really. If she digs you and you dig her, then you shouldn't worry. Other people might see it as wrong, but ... (read in full...)
My fiance checks in on his ex...Should I be worried???
Q. Should I be worried about my fiance checking in on his ex-girlfriend? We have been together just over a year and been engaged for 4 months. He moved in with me 3 months ago; right before that I was using his computer and noticed that he'd been on ...
A. 14 September 2006: First of all, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with a guy checking on his ex-girlfriends, especially the one he was with for fifteen years. I've never understood the fact that many people break up with someone and feel that have to be ... (read in full...)
I'm not good at relationships...I need some advice and help here.
Q. I need some advice on relationships as I am not very good at them, even though I am 30 years young. My boyfriend is 22. My longest relationship has only been for a year, whereas he came out of a 4 1/2 yr relationship early this year. I always ...
A. 14 September 2006: Okay, you bolt at the first sign of trouble, and he freaks out when people treat him too well. You should keep these two things in mind when dealing with your relationship because knowing this will be very helpful.
As for what he meant when he ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but says he likes me and I'm nice...What should I do???
Q. i am 24 with 3 young children and divorced. i go out with freinds on saturday nights. there i met this guy i think he is so sweet. he told me he had a girl friend the first time i seen him which i think is true. the second time i met him he told me ...
A. 14 September 2006: I don't think he was saying it to be nice. He said it because it's probably true. It breaks my heart when wonderful people have low self-esteem because of their weight. I assure you, I know plenty of guys who love plus size girls. If you're a nice ... (read in full...)
What is he thinking???
Q. What is he really thinking? I've been with my boyfriend for the past 7 years. We're both in our late 20s and I thought we were very happy together and he was the one. However, he dropped a bombshell on me a couple of weeks ago and told me that he ...
A. 14 September 2006: Icebunny, I know exactly how you feel. This happened to me. You should always go with your gut instinct, because it's generally the right one. I don't think that you being suspicious of his frequent trips to London, spending the night in the flat of ... (read in full...)
When other people are cool towards me...I think they don't like me! Do I need more confidence?
Q. ive had some issues with confidence relationship wise and friendship wise! i find eveytime any1s cold towards me or a bit off i immeditly think they dont like me anymore! its like im always waiting 4 them to dump me or stop being my friend ...
A. 14 September 2006: You definitely need more confidence, sweetie, and maybe a bit of counseling to uncover why you're insecure. Most people have off days and are cool or indifferent because they aren't feeling their best. It probably has nothing to do with you.... (read in full...)
My bf thinks other women are more beautiful than me. Should I hold out for a guy who thinks I am the most beautiful in his eyes?
Q. Should I hold out for a man who feels I am the most beautiful woman in the world to him? My bf and me have been together 6 years. My best friend has also been with her bf 4 years. he is always telling her she is the most beautiful woman in the world ...
A. 14 September 2006: Well, first ask yourself if he's the most handsome man in the world to you?
I'm not going to tell you should or shouldn't stay with him. No one should tell you that. You said that he's honest, finds you attractive, and is good to you, but you want... (read in full...)
Do you think that he's wants to break up with me?
Q. hey! ya well my boyfriend and i have been dating for around 6 months now and i'm ready to move up in our relationship if you know wut i mean and i went to his house and he was laying on me while i was kissing him and we were going at it and he pulls ...
A. 14 September 2006: Maybe he fears if the relationship doesn't last, and he's intimate with you, he feels it will be even more painful. However, the fact that he's thinking this and pulled away, suggests to me that he has ambivalent feelings about becoming more ... (read in full...)
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