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female
,
anonymous
writes: Me and boyfriend are young i'm 19 and he is 18. We have been together for just over 2 years. We also have an 8 month baby. And i found out since february that he was cheating on me. Reasoning is being young and also the lack of attention i payed to him. He says he realises now, how this was selfish he has also said he does'nt even know if he does love me, is this just because his confused?. I dont know whether to try and work at it or will this alway be the way? Can a leopard change his spots?
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male
reader, Herr Professor +, writes (14 September 2006):
 He's 18. Of course he has a lot of growing up to do. He isn't ready to be a father yet. This why kids SHOULDN'T have kids. Being a parent is hard work. Will it always be this way. I hate to sound negative, but yes, it just might. You're too young at 16, 17, or 18 years old to decide you want to be with one person for the rest of your life. That's a LONG time, and he's already telling you he doesn't know if he loves you?
To make matters worse, there's an innocent child involved. You should concentrate on the baby. If the dad wants to be there, fine. If he doesn't, that's fine, too. It's his choice. I don't know what the laws are where you live, but you need to check into it and make sure he helps out financially if no other way just in case the two of you break up. Either way, it's not going to be easy. And, I agree with Toohonesty, please use contraception and don't have any more kids until you are older and in a stable relationship. It's not fair to make a child pay for your mistakes.
A
male
reader, Toohonesty +, writes (13 September 2006):
What a w**ker, im a male whose sayin this, trying to blaim you, guess whose to blaim, him. No offence to you love but you have a lovely baby with him, im presuming she was not planned, not being sarcastic but use contraception next time. The child is the most important thing, and he is obviously too immature to take the responcibility, so get trained, get a good job, live life to the full and enjoy your baby
GOOD LUCK
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A
female
reader, confussed jane +, writes (13 September 2006):
people make mastacks i done it we all have you should have a really good talk with him.i think he young and not ready to setle down if thats what you want you should find someone else guys do like alot of attention i think lassies do to we all do but i think you should talk to him.befor goes ran and you get really upset esp if you love him maybe you to ant made for each other. good luck all best xxxx
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 You are a mother and need to think of your child. Get a job that will allow you to support your child, find a place to live without BF, and Go to a lawyer and set up child support.
Then give him all the space he wants to clear his head, grow up, screw everything in a skirt, or whatever. If he comes back you will be able to set the rules and not have to accept him in this childish, and selfish state.
This is going to be a really tough time for you. You need to get support from family and friends to make it through.
GOOD LUCK!
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A
female
reader, Angel_A +, writes (13 September 2006):
 Sounds like he has alot of growing up to do! If he was mature enough to decide to be a father, then he should be maturee enough to treat you with respect and make a go of your relationship.
Leopards CAN change their spots,so it's hard to condemn him forever, but if he isn't sure about whether he loves you it does sound like the responsibilities and reality of life with you and a child at such a young age is perhaps too much for him?
Maybe if you have some breathing space it will become clear whether a) he's pleased of the space and goes back to being a "lad" or b) whether he misses you and his child and realises that he needs to buck his ideas up before he loses you.
Good luck x
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