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*ewYorkGlamour
writes: Hi, I've got a problem.I'm 18, have been single for about a year now. Got out of a bad relationship, thank god.Anyway, my friend decided she wanted to set me up with someone. She told me he was 19.Tom and I went out and had an absolute blast. Here comes the nauseating cliche: I've never felt such a connection before. We have so much fun together, and when we chat on the phone or at a cafe it can last for hours. We just are great on every level.My parents met him and adored him. At first.One day we were talking, and he was talking about going to a bar that night with his friends. I said "They let you drink?" and he laughed and said "Well considering I turned 21 four years ago, yes."He's 25.I didn't have a problem with it. After all I'd already been dating him for about three weeks, and there was never any indication there was an age difference.When I told my parents, however, they hit the roof, immediately began calling him a predator and molestor, and told me they'd never accept our relationship.I'm 18 and a legal adult true, but my parents' acceptance means a lot to me, and it hurts that they can't accept him. Help, please? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, claire_x100 +, writes (18 September 2006):
 It may be hard but you are in love. explain to your parents that hes not only just after one thing if they may think that and nothing has changed hes still the same person he was when they thought he was 19. You cant help who you fall in love with, im sure once you explain how you are feeling they will understand. They may just want to protect you because of your previous relationship, i think its really nice you want them to accept him and maybe they will in time. Good Luck.
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reader, Herr Professor +, writes (14 September 2006):
 NY Glamour, your parents thought he was great before they learned of the age difference, and now that they know, they're upset? I understand that they want to protect you, but you're legally an adult. The two of you are consenting, legal adults! What your parents are feeling is a personal prejudice against this man because of his age. I think that you need to discuss this again with your parents, very respectfully of course, but point out that there's nothing legally or socially wrong with your relationship.
I think it's wonderful that you love your parents and respect their opinion, but what if you found a man you loved and wanted to marry, and they forbid for some other reason that really wasn't justified? You're an adult now. You have to live your life for yourself, not your parents. Take their advice when there is true justification for it. I don't see that here.
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reader, Ainslie +, writes (14 September 2006):
 Wow! I'm in a similar age gap situation. I'm a few months away from 18. After feedback from people on here, I realized something: I will be an adult. You ARE an adult, like Lostandalone said. Your parents want what is best for you and what makes you happy. If this guy makes you happy, be with him. There is nothing about him that says predator or molestor. Seven years isn't huge.
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reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 I know you care about your parents approval but you have to explain to them that you are an adult. I know from where I am sitting it really isn't their business seeing as how you are an adult legally. If you live with them than yes it will be harder but I for one wouldn't let anyone run my life not even my parents. I'm not saying totally defy or disrespect your parents because they're only looking out for your best interest but if you want to continue to date him you must make a stand. I hope this helps.
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