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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi there, Im 31 years of age and in love with my best male mate. Thing is im really scared I have screwed things up with him. Nearly two weeks ago I told him I was falling in love with him, but he made no comment as to what he thought to me telling him this apart from it hasnt changed our friendship. Ever since I announced this I havent been feeling too great, I constantly worried about losing him, I keep having anxiety attacks, crying all the time and I cant snap out of it. He knows that im suffering but isnt really helping how I feel because he wont tell me what he feels about me loving him. Then I end up being snappy with him and insecure but he is not acting any different towards me. I went out with him last night and was very quiet and distant apparently, its because I dont know how to distance my feelings, and basically I think I may have blown it. Just dont know what to do anymore apart from end the friendship for my own sanity but this will destroy me because I think the world of him.
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female
reader, jessi +, writes (14 September 2006):
I can understand this must be really hard for you right now but you were quite right to express your feelings to him but things might not be the same again unless you take action and reassure him about hes feelings towards you and let him no its ok that he dosent feel the same way for you but remember you have to be prepared for what hes has to say and you might even need some time apart cos if you do really love him it is going to be hard if he dosent love you back but if you have a strong friendship then you will eventually get though it 2 getha good luckxxxx
A
male
reader, Herr Professor +, writes (14 September 2006):
 Him not saying anything speaks volumes to me. I think he gave you his answer indirectly. If someone said that to me, and I reciprocated the feelings, I'd make it known. He probably thinks of you as a good friend, and this has really thrown him.
What you don't want to do is lose a good friend. Until you talk about what happened, I think you're both going to feel uncomfortable and end up saying or doing things that you won't be able to take back. I would advise you to find a way to be alone with him in a setting that is comfortable. Tell him that it's okay if he doesn't return your feelings, that you just don't want it to harm your friendship. Then I would look in another direction. Things might be weird between you for a while, but hopefully in the future, they'll get back to normal. Don't let yourself fall for someone who can't love you back. That's the worst heartache in the world.
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