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female
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anonymous
writes: Is it normal that my bf has never brought me to orgasm? He can get me horny really easily, and he knows what i like and we're both perfectly comfortable with eachother but he just can't get me off whatever method he tries, even though i often pretend for his benefit. I deliberately don't talk to him about it but he does have 'issues' in the bedroom. He used to take a lot of class A drugs and as a result his penis is pretty unpredictable. He can lose an erection really quickly, and he can take 30 seconds to come or 20 minutes, with practically no inbetween. I've never had sex with anyone else before, but to be quite frank i think he's probably pretty bad at the whole thing, although i have nothing to compare to. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but i don't know if i could go on forever without having sex with someone else to see if i'm missing anything. Can you help us make things better?
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female
reader, Suzanna +, writes (14 September 2006):
 1. Stop faking and start communicating.
2. You will need a lot of foreplay, during which time you need to tell him and show him how you like to be touched.
3. When you like what he is doing, tell him so, get in to a rythm, relax, enjoy and let go of your inhibitions. Do not worry about how you look or sound. Focus on how good it feels.
4. Move on to penetration when you are feeling like you are about to cum. Make sure that you keep clitoral stimulation going during sex, either with his hand or yours until you get in to a rythm again.
5. Then enjoy..........OHOHOHOHOHHLALALALALA!
6. Now you can pay all your attention to your considerate lover and make all his wishes come true.
A
female
reader, sjd +, writes (14 September 2006):
 It is normal for you not to have an orgasm, but you can fix it! I am walking proof. My first suggestion is to stop faking your orgasm or faking that it feels good. This gives your partner a false sense of satisfaction that he is doing something right in making you feel good when he is not. I dated a guy for three years and never once orgasmed...sex was soooo boring. When I was finally able to climax, I realized the problem almost immediatly....COMMUNICATION! Since he is your first sexual partner, communication may feel difficult or awkward at first. When something actually feels good, start out by telling him somehting like "keep doing that I like it." If you want him to do something different, tell him...go slower/ faster....harder/softer. Also change up your positions if you have not already done so. If you do something with him from behind, grab his hands and put them where you want them. Direct him in what makes you feel good. Eventually (it will take a little time), if you communicate with each other, you are going to eb having awesome sex and he will know exactly what to do to amke you feel good. Good Luck and I hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Herr Professor +, writes (14 September 2006):
 It's actually more complicated for women to reach orgasm. In fact, most experts on the subject claim that it's not really very uncommon for women to NOT climax through intercourse alone, regardless of how well the man's organ functions. Women need lots of foreplay and other types of stimulation to the clitoris. If I were you, I'd go online and read about the G spot, if you don't know where it is or how to find it. Then show him what to do. When he gets that down, you'll be good to go, and he won't have to worry about whether or not his willy goes south.
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A
female
reader, Allsorts54 +, writes (14 September 2006):
It would not be fair to cheat on him.It will do you good to relax when you having sex with your boyfriend.You seem to be thinking about him not being able to satisfy you than enjoying what you are doing.Talk about it and try different stuff and see what works.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006): it would be unfair to cheat on him just because you cant reach an orgasm. why not get him to stimulate you in other ways such as sex toys? not only will you be able to climax, he will enjoy it too! good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006): i am not an expert with this sort of thing but my advice to you would be. as you are having sex try out some oral sex maybe his penis don't work properly but his tongue and fingers do if you know what i meen. if you have never had oral sex before try experimenting with yourself first then tell your man what to do. more than likely he would be more than happy to oblige and happy for the helping hand.
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A
female
reader, rachyg +, writes (13 September 2006):
 ryt hunny iva had the esact same problem but because i liked him sooo more id pretend i was having an orgasm or sometimes if i new he as going to and hed say have id jsut say yes so he didnt feel bad but to be honest i liked him so i dint care qwe got on great 2 geva n i did love the sex while it happened because we had such a great bond together ive splet with to other people past boyfriends but even though they miyt of bin beta or wotevaa i wudnt say u was missing out on much think about wen he last for ages and its good not wen he does it for 20 seconds ive ha that before and your like ermmm sooo anything next hehe but nooo there all tired out but if u like im girl just stay with him that wot id do xxxx
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